Bringing Hope to Those in Pain

In my line of work, I deal with people (mainly women) who have reached the end of their rope. They have experienced such pain and drama that they are filled with shame and grief over what has happened in their past. What we try to do is help them see what God wants to offer them...hope and love. But, that is a much more difficult task than you would think.

Take this clip from when I first got to hold my brother after he was born...


All my little 3-year-old brain knew was that I was holding a baby boy. Who knew it had a name! I had no context that this baby boy would grow up, have his own spunky personality, be my comrade-in-arms on our childhood adventures or become one of my best friends. My brain had no context of what a baby brother meant because it had never experienced having a baby brother before.

We see this phenomena with women who have never experienced hope before. They don't know what it looks like because in many cases, they have rarely experienced it. If they have, it was a long time ago in an era of their life long forgotten.

Most women have experienced pain for so long they lash out pain to those around them. You might have heard the expression, "People in pain hurt others." I know I have seen that in my own experience. Then the people that are trying to help them and bring them hope end up walking out on them because they do not want to be hurt any more.

Another metaphor: When I was training to become a life guard, we had to learn how to deal with people who were thrashing around in the water. Many times, it was human nature to grab on to anything or anyone else around them and push them under the water in an effort of self preservation. While we were trying to save them, they were trying to drown us. This is what happens when working with human trafficking victims as well.

So how do we bring hope to people that have no context of it and lash out at those trying to bring it to them?

With patience.

We have to be so patient with people in pain. We have to understand what they are processing through. Allow them to work through the anger and pain and guilt and shame and everything Satan is throwing at them from their past. We have to have Teflon emotions where we do not take their actions or words against us personally. We have to love them even when they don't seem to value themselves.  This includes showing "tough love" as well, by not empowering them to continue self destructive habits. By doing this it allows God to plant the seeds necessary in their lives to grow and one day, become hope. And not just any hope, but hope in the one person that can bring it genuinely 100% of the time.

You may not deal with trafficking victims every day. But you do have family members, friends, co-workers who are hurting in different ways. Be patient with them. Love on them. And show them that they can have hope in their situations too.

"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if someone happens to have a complaint against anyone else. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also forgive others."

~ Colossians 3:12-13