One of the many "fun" administrative jobs of mine is to send out our newsletter for our ministry every month. I always begin by dreading it. By the end I get excited by all I get to share about what's going on with our team!
I wrote this as an encouragement to our volunteers, but thought some of you could use it and apply it in our daily lives. Community is being slowly replaced by technology and it is crucial to God working in our lives!
"October is such a fun month. We have cooler temperatures, pumpkins are coming out. Everyone seems to be on board with October being super fantastic. What is also super fantastic is the teams we are building within Redeemed in Dallas. We have some incredible people stepping up and answering the call God has put on their hearts to serve the women who are being exploited within our city. With all the awesome activity, the thing that has been on my heart has been the word "sustainability." These women are used to people coming in and out of their life, never sticking around long term for them. The question most people ask of them is "what can I get out of you?" We are working to have them ask the question, "What does God think about you?" We all know the answer to that is God hold us in high value. We are his most prized creation. He knows our thoughts. He knows our hurts. He knows our dreams. He loves us unconditionally, which is a concept that is hard for us to wrap our heads around. But once these women know God is for them and not against them, we know it can turn their whole situation around. So the question I ask of myself and our teams is how are we going to sustain these efforts to reach these women? When burn out comes, when we experience fear, when life seems too complicated to continue, how are we going to continue reaching out to these women who are desperately looking for God's love? The answer is two fold: 1) continuing our personal walk with Christ, asking for him to stretch time and energy so that we can obey the call and 2) reaching out to those we work with for support and help with the things Satan is throwing at us to try to stop us. Redeemed is unique in that we are not just a non-profit that you check in and out of in order to get service hours or experience. Rather, we are a community of believers from all over the metroplex gathering together in Christ to reach out to those in the darkest of situations and offer them a light of hope. On top of that, God isn't just using us to change the lives of the women we minister to, but he's using our community and those we volunteer with to change us to become more like Christ as well. So I encourage you to not just check in and out and add this work to the list of things you do to be a "good Christian." Rather I encourage you to really plug in and build community with the people doing this work alongside you. I know the people that have stepped up and volunteered for a while have already changed my life. I pray that God does the same in your life."
In my line of work, I deal with people (mainly women) who have reached the end of their rope. They have experienced such pain and drama that they are filled with shame and grief over what has happened in their past. What we try to do is help them see what God wants to offer them...hope and love. But, that is a much more difficult task than you would think.
Take this clip from when I first got to hold my brother after he was born...
All my little 3-year-old brain knew was that I was holding a baby boy. Who knew it had a name! I had no context that this baby boy would grow up, have his own spunky personality, be my comrade-in-arms on our childhood adventures or become one of my best friends. My brain had no context of what a baby brother meant because it had never experienced having a baby brother before.
We see this phenomena with women who have never experienced hope before. They don't know what it looks like because in many cases, they have rarely experienced it. If they have, it was a long time ago in an era of their life long forgotten.
Most women have experienced pain for so long they lash out pain to those around them. You might have heard the expression, "People in pain hurt others." I know I have seen that in my own experience. Then the people that are trying to help them and bring them hope end up walking out on them because they do not want to be hurt any more.
Another metaphor: When I was training to become a life guard, we had to learn how to deal with people who were thrashing around in the water. Many times, it was human nature to grab on to anything or anyone else around them and push them under the water in an effort of self preservation. While we were trying to save them, they were trying to drown us. This is what happens when working with human trafficking victims as well.
So how do we bring hope to people that have no context of it and lash out at those trying to bring it to them?
With patience.
We have to be so patient with people in pain. We have to understand what they are processing through. Allow them to work through the anger and pain and guilt and shame and everything Satan is throwing at them from their past. We have to have Teflon emotions where we do not take their actions or words against us personally. We have to love them even when they don't seem to value themselves. This includes showing "tough love" as well, by not empowering them to continue self destructive habits. By doing this it allows God to plant the seeds necessary in their lives to grow and one day, become hope. And not just any hope, but hope in the one person that can bring it genuinely 100% of the time.
You may not deal with trafficking victims every day. But you do have family members, friends, co-workers who are hurting in different ways. Be patient with them. Love on them. And show them that they can have hope in their situations too.
"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if someone happens to have a complaint against anyone else. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also forgive others."
I honestly sit here inspired tonight. It's been the culmination of a million pondering moments and a million questions all converging at once.
I had the honor tonight to attend a concert in the Botanical Gardens with one of my dearest friends Ashley and her family. Honestly, when I found out I was going to get to hang out with them tonight I was so excited. I love their family and how funny, genuine and hospitable they are. It takes a special kind of people to invite me over to a dinner and cater to my gluten free needs and they did so with flying colors. Literally. Mr. Mark's shirt looked exactly like the American flag when you held up our patriotic napkins to his shirt!
But I guess I should start explaining things a little bit, first starting a few months ago when I attended a training for work. We talked about trauma and how it affects the brain. We like to talk in symbolism to get our points across, naturally. We discussed how trauma affects the brain and how the brain achieved healing. The metaphor that the speaker used was that trauma was not a linear model where we travel in a straight line and get to point B from point A. Rather, it's a spiral model where we start at the bottom. Some times we move forward and other times we move back. But regardless where we are in the spiral, we are always moving up.
This is an important thing to keep in mind when we consider all that has been happening recently.
Personally, I've been under a ton of stress. Between my work with the women I mentor and my personal life, there is a ton going on. I can't elaborate. But let's say the new essential oils I received are definitely helping along side some very long prayer times for my anxiety.
Meanwhile, I couldn't even look at Facebook for a while. I feel like a recent post I saw from Glen Beck summed it up exactly:
Personally, I believe my first citizenship is to God. I am a daughter of the King. He says homosexuality was not a part of his design. So therefore, I believe that if you are living a homosexual lifestyle, you are not living in the will of God. However, God gave us the freedom to make our own choices. That's what makes His love so spectacular; He doesn't force us to love him. So in accordance to my second citizenship to the United States of America, you have the ability to do whatever you chose to do, as long as it doesn't cause me to deviate from my freedom to follow my beliefs in God.
What I do have a problem with is how this, among other decisions, was passed down through our court system. We have a constitution which is the most unique piece of governmental procedure in the world. No one came up with something like this before America. I feel like if we are to really protect freedom to live the way we want to (whether you choose to follow God or not) that monumental document needs to be followed so that everyone has the freedom to live the life they chose.
So meanwhile, I see the hate and the divisiveness that is coming across in social media and I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart. I wonder how such a court decision could have happened. Then on top of that, how can we have become a society where if you have a differing opinion than I do, it makes you an enemy that I can never talk to again?
So this Fourth of July, I am very reflective and prayerful as I consider what we are actually celebrating this year. While I'm very disappointed in what has happened in our country recently, I still can't help think about the spiral model of healing. Sometimes we will go forward. Sometimes we will go backward. Yet we will always be going up.
As I watched the fireworks tonight above my hometown, I couldn't help but judge which fireworks I thought were the prettiest. I'm pretty consistent. Ever since I was little I've loved the ones that sparkle and have lots of twinkling lights that linger even after the initial explosion. As I watched (and maybe had to wipe the ash from my face) I thought, "What is it about those fireworks that makes the sparkle ones so exceptional?" In my reflective mood, I thought about how there are thousands of tiny pieces of the fireworks that catch the energy from the initial explosion and then ignite to create the light and the sparkle. Consequentially, that causes those fireworks to last so much longer than the other ones.
I can't help but draw a parallel from those fireworks to our society. Right now we have a ton of fireworks that draw our attention. From Obamacare to church shootings to confederate flags to homosexuality...there are so many things looking to draw our attention and create a divide amongst our country right now. But the fireworks that last and actually make a difference in our lives are the ones that see the goodness and the kindness in our society. While they may not make the front page or the top of the news, they are the stories that actually pierce our hearts and cause us to aspire to be better versions of ourselves.
So amongst all those that have expressed despair for the future of our country, I actually have hope in our America. I believe that God is bringing up a generation of people my age that have caught the initial spark of the gospel and are propelled to make a change where God has planted them. That obedience, grace and love causes them to spark and make a difference in the lives of those around them, who therefore also catch the spark. God is creating a huge firework, the kind that lingers long after the others, and spreads the good news of love and redemption.
We may be in a backwards trend of the spiral right now. Trust me, I know it's NOT pretty. But I have hope. I refuse to give in to the idea that we are beyond repair. America was built on hope and it will only fail when hope in something better is lost by the people that live here. It's a hard road to travel. These days the road seems pretty tough. But if we do not give up, we will be that shining light on a hill the Bible talks about.
We will be a huge firework signaling freedom to everyone in the world looking for it.
So my question is, what spark is God calling you to be?
So I'm in that awkward stage of generations where I'm not quite an '80s baby, but I wasn't a '90s child either. I remember not having cell phones and I love being "off the grid." Yet I embrace new technology with anticipation and excitement. Growing up, I've always gotten along with those older than me and had very few friends younger than me. What makes me laugh is that "scientists" or "modern anthropologists" have tried to give my generation so many names. Yet none of them seem to really define any of us, do they? So whether we are generation XY or Millennials or whatever the names may be this day, I do see a common thread among all of us...a disconnect from reality.
There are many blog posts out there and talk show figures that lament over the bloggers and social media posters that sit in their underwear and type their opinions onto a computer screen and post them to see the world. What always makes me laugh is if they are complaining about people wearing underwear, those talk heads have bigger issues. :) I personally like wearing underwear while writing thank you very much.
All kidding aside, I understand their concerns. Many of the opinions on the web lack the "reality" that is needed to have common sense behind some of these opinions. I never thought I would become that older, cynical girl who wonders if a youngster has what it takes to work in the "real world." Yet I became that women as I sat at the Dallas Aggie Muster Ceremony and I heard all the accolades of the recipients of the scholarship recipients. I once had an outstanding resume in high school like many of these kids. It didn't mean squat once I reached college and failed my physics classes. It REALLY didn't mean anything when I had to go find a real job and work hard with a team of highly varied personalities. I sat through that ceremony and wondered, "Would I hire them for any of my internships?" Sadly, just based on what I heard, the answer was no.
It is easy to get cynical, especially in the ministry I am involved in, when most people think being involved with human trafficking means drawing a red X on your hand and posting it to social media. I used to walk around campus without shoes to support the work of TOMS. But what difference was I actually making besides picking up all the dirt around College Station? I frequently tell students it's not about a hashtag or wearing a specific bracelet. I want to know what work are you actually doing that makes a direct difference in the lives you wish to impact? Are you going and presenting to churches? Are they coming back with resources? Are you going into brothels and ministering to the women where you are? Are you raising money? Are you going on a mission trip? Does it come up in normal conversation with others because it is actually something so close to your heart?
I don't want to criticize anyone for not doing any of these things because I know that God hasn't called everyone to it. Some of you are supposed to be mothers and fathers. Some of you are supposed to focus on school, or your current job or any other social issue that God has placed on your heart. But what I think we all need to learn is that once God has placed something in your heart and called you to reach out to those he wants to reach, it is up to you to actually put in the effort.
The millennial effect is to say, "Sure God" but only put forth the effort that doesn't dramatically affect your current everyday schedule. The disconnect is to think that if you post it on social media or put together a "movement day" that you are having a direct impact on the people God is calling you to reach. It's the equivalent of the rich man who wanted to follow Jesus. But when Jesus told him he would have to sell all his possessions, he ended up not following him as a disciple. Many of us love our comfort more than we love our Christ and we allow that to keep us from doing the work he has called us to do.
So if you're being called to human trafficking, I got a spot for you haha. If you are being called to another aspect of ministry, go to it with all haste. But don't get sucked into the idea of the Millennial Disconnect. Don't allow the idea that you are entitled to comfort while serving your God to keep you from the impact he actually wants to make on the world through you.
When I worked with Fellowship Church, you always had that awkward moment where when someone asks what you do and I say, "I'm a Children's Pastor." They kinda look at you weird and go "Oh!" or "Cool!" and that's the end of the conversation because now you have broken an important rule of building relationships: Don't bring up religion. I never thought it could get worse.
I was wrong.
I was in a long line at Starbucks waiting to order and a neighboring customer said hi and struck up a conversation. Naturally we get to careers and saying I was the director of a faith based non-profit that fights human trafficking was like the sum epitome of relational rule breaking. I now have now brought up religion, politics and sex. Don't you love talking to me already? I think the only thing that could be a worse conversation starter was Starbuck's #RaceTogether campaign. Those poor baristas...
But if you want to start a conversation with me you are going to hear how much I love God. You will hear how much I believe he has called me to this work. And you are going to hear about how much God is changing me just as much as he is changing the women we build relationships with.
Just last weekend we had a training with a fantastic women named Bonnie Martin. She has counseled thousands of clients and specifically works with human trafficking victims and those suffering from complex trauma. She introduced us to neuroscience that showed us images of the brain post-trauma and how it structurally redesigns the brain. It was incredible to learn how this restructuring leads to certain behavioral changes and why these women we work with think the way they do. Of course, without fail, God taught me a little bit more about myself as I struggle with my PTSD. I was able to understand how my brain works even more and what I can do to balance my life with the symptoms that occasionally interject themselves into my life.
But the most important piece to the puzzle was when she discussed shame. It will be very hard for me to sum up what I heard over two days from such an eloquent woman, but I will do my best because I feel it is so important.
Shame bring three things: secrecy, isolation and insecurity. Think about when you steal a cookie at age 5. You do it in secrecy. You isolate yourself to eat it. Then you are insecure the whole day on whether your mom or dad is going to find out. Right? Well, what Ms. Martin's point to her speech was that we don't just have a sin problem, but we also have a shame problem. In Genesis, it says that Adam and Eve, freshly created, were naked in the garden and not ashamed. But once they disobeyed God, they felt immense shame and hid from God. Sin is what keeps us from God. Shame is what keeps us from living past it. She then gave us three examples of people with shame from the Bible.
Moses was a traumatized baby. He survived white-water rafting down the Nile river and was adopted into an Egyptian family where he had identity issues and developed and anger management problem. He then killed a man in his anger, hid the body (secrecy) then ran away from home (isolation). He was so ashamed of what he did he could barely overcome his insecurity when God started talking to him from the burning bush. Thankfully, he learned to overcome his shame and lead the people out of Egypt.
Saul's story wasn't so happy. He had inherited shame socially as the youngest brother of the lowest family of the lowest tribe. When Samuel anointed him and held a banquet for him he didn't tell his family (secrecy) and hid on the day it was supposed to be announced that he was the first king of Israel (isolation). He was always insecure about his leadership role as shown by him not waiting for Samuel to come sacrifice before going into battle and by how he perceived David as a threat to his throne. He never overcame his shame.
Rahab had imposed shame. Historically, I learned that she was probably a prostitute as much as a girl being trafficked today was (aka forced to do it). Her story might be similar to many of the girls that come into our program where she was probably first trafficked at age 12 or 13. However, it was a way to survive in a culture hostile to women. She probably had so much shame from how society viewed her and she had to deal with that her whole life. However, as a survivor, she had heard of the God of the Israelites that wiped their enemies out. When she came across the Israeli spies, she saw an opportunity to save herself and her family. Yet, when the Israeli spies told her to put the scarlet cord in the window, she had a tough decision. Scarlet was the color associated with sexually immorality (Scarlet Letter anyone?) and so so save herself, she had to broadcast her occupation to the community. Thankfully she didn't let her shame from her occupation stop her and she became part of the lineage of Jesus.
See how it wasn't just the sins of the individual people that caused them to hesitate when God called them? It was the shame of their sins that they had to overcome. Those in the Bible that were able to understand that God knew every secret about them and yet still loved them allowed them to overcome their shame and move on to do the great God had called them to do.
I'm sure as I'm writing this some of the shame that you still keep secret in your heart might be coming to mind. When I was thinking about it, I had some things that I was ashamed of come to mind instantly. And yet, as we celebrate Easter, it is so good to know that our Savior knew we were going to face shame. With this knowledge he underwent severe beatings and mocking, taking the shame that he didn't deserve with him as he was paraded down the street to his death. With his resurrection, we see that he overcame the sin that keeps us from God, but he also overcame the shame that allows us to experience true liberty from our shame in His glory.
Do you really want to start a conversation? Let's talk about how the sin and the shame that we deal with as a human beings causes many of the problems that we see today, including human trafficking. People in pain inflict pain on others. Let's talk openly about how the answer to the sin and shame problem is getting squashed in our schools and our politics. Let's talk about how it's taboo to bring God up in conversation. Let's talk about the messes in life that the directives of God can help us heal and avoid in the future. Let's talk about how we can still be reflections of Christ without having to be perfect ourselves.
My hope is that if we can start having this real, actually important conversation, we can see real hope and change occur in our society. Isn't that a beautiful thing to imagine?
Happy Easter everyone. Remember that God loves you and you don't have to live in shame any more.
Jared and I have some exciting news to announce. No, it is not a baby (Courtney! Haha.) but we are embarking on a journey of faith to minister to those enslaved in human trafficking! We have been called by God to work with Redeemed Ministries full time.
Redeemed started in 2005 just simply reaching out to women who were trapped in sex trafficking and showing them the unconditional love Jesus shows us. Many times, these women come from very broken homes. 90% of girls trapped in sex trafficking have been abused sexually as children. They never learn that behavior is not normal. Pimps then exploit that past to take advantage of these girls and the cycle is brutal and often fatal. While these women are forced to serve up to 30 men in a day, they often turn to drugs to cope and/or also get beat by their pimps to make sure they obey whatever the pimp tells them to do.
While many ministries go out to the brothels with the intent on “extracting” girls from their situation, we simply go in to offer the love of Jesus to them. Many times these girls are in denial that they are in a dangerous place and until they realize that, even if we “extracted” them from their situation, no change would take place. When they would leave our care, they would go right back to what they were doing. We believe by going in and just ministering and sharing love with them allows God seeds to be planted in their life to realize they are loved, but not by their pimps. This process of change allows them to be an active participant in their life change. Then, if they want to leave the life, we can help provide them a safe place, in the form of a safe house, to get away from their pimp AND increase their chance of not going back. Jesus is the one working on the inside to heal and change their hearts. We are simply servants to help provide the environment for that change and the voice of reasoning when the tough times come.
That brings me to one of the most exciting parts of Redeemed, our aftercare program! We have a safe house out in the country where we can house girls for a year long program. We have partnered with Rutgers University to develop a program that specifically helps heal trauma associated with trafficking and we have seen God use that tremendously! Just in the last year we have seen two women baptized and graduated. One is even entering the missionary field and ministering to others. It’s the most amazing thing to watch God completely transform the lives of these women who were so broken and now they flourish in the love God has for us! We are working to build a new, larger safe house so that we can minister to even more women.
I first heard about human trafficking in my car (go figure!). I was working at a winery as a part of my research project in college and the drive was an hour one way. I listened to podcasts by Christine Caine while I drove. She runs a global anti-human trafficking organization called A21 and hearing about it tugged at my heartstrings like nothing had ever done before. The thing I most identified with was the fact that the fear these women have for their pimps paralyzes them from trying to find any other alternative to their situation. This fear allows them to be abused over and over again. I have battled with similar fear in my life and sitting there in the car, I wanted to reach through my stereo to the women and tell them they didn’t have to be governed by fear anymore. However, I was in College Station, TX…not Athens, Greece. Nor did I ever see God sending me to where A21 was going.
Fast forward to me getting married and moving to Houston. My husband and I were looking for a church. We visited one down the road one Sunday and the topic was human trafficking in Houston with the featured ministry being Redeemed. I found out that between Dallas, Austin and Houston, 25% of girls trafficked found themselves in Texas at some point. I instantly knew I was supposed to be involved. I have since volunteered with them over the last three years and have never looked back!
I’ve had the opportunity to mentor girls, work on the social media team, help market the ministry and teach others about trafficking. Honestly, it has been the biggest and most fulfilling thing in my life. I learned so much about myself and about trafficking and I was given the opportunity to bring it with me when my husband and I moved to Dallas. As I look at 2015 and really start to build the ground work for what we are doing, I am so excited for what I believe God will do in Dallas.
One thing that has been a bittersweet point in this transition is that my position has been a volunteer position for so long. But the ministry is growing to the point where I cannot hold my current position as a Children’s Pastor and do Redeemed at the level of excellence both ministries deserve. I’m truly sad to leave the amazing community God has allowed me to be a part of. Yet, God has already been faithful by providing not only a new community, but financial funding through monthly donations.
This is where you can get involved! While I will receive a small stipend from Redeemed it is not enough to cover expenses Jared and I have, even with his job. If you heard my story and my heart for this ministry and would be willing to support me monthly, please take a few minutes to sign up and pledge to fund this ministry Jared and I will be building. This is a direct way you can help...by giving me the financial funding for me to work towards helping these women full time! It will have a huge impact for us, and for allowing us to advance the kingdom of God!
Ultimately, we see ourselves as an extension of the church; where we are bringing the gospel to some of the deepest and darkest of places and hopefully, seeing God transform the lives of those we meet. Jesus said he didn’t come for the well, but for the sick. From the women that are enslaved, to the pimps that do the enslaving and the men who buy, the people are plenty for God to reach and the gospel is so desperately needed on all fronts of this situation.
Thank you all for supporting us, whether that be through prayer or by financially supporting us. We are so grateful for all of our community. Here's to what God has in store!
