The Power of Social Media

Courtesy of...you guessed it...Facebook! 

In the past, I have frequently belittled people for "just" posting on social media about social justice issues. I've talked about how just drawing a red X on your hand and posting a photo of it wasn't doing much for the actual victims of human trafficking that I work with every day. And to a certain extent, that's true. However, a few things have happened that have made me take a step back and rethink how I view social media and it's role in our society today.

This last month I feel like I am now just able to come up to breathe after a very long dive underwater. I got to catch up on the DVR a little bit and checked out the presidential debates that happened last week. While the political theatre was fun, it wasn't the policies that the candidates put forth that struck me the most. In fact, it really wasn't the candidates themselves that stuck out to me at all (which might be a different blog post in the future). What stuck out to me was the fact that this was the Fox News Debate PARTNERED WITH FACEBOOK. You couldn't look anywhere on the screen without seeing the little blue box with the "F" in the center. The mediators were bringing up questions that people had posted to Facebook specifically so that they might be asked to the candidates in the debate. Statistics and graphics showed what people were talking about the most and where in the country people were talking about specific hot topics. It was crazy. Honestly, I don't know why we need the NSA anymore if we can glean all this information just by what people are posting on social media.

However, it was interesting to me that Fox News, arguably the biggest news network on cable television (The Blaze doesn't count since they are blocked out of cable politically right now) is driving their subjects and questions based on what people are saying on Facebook. That speaks volumes about the news media today.

Many people, including myself, have blamed the media for not reporting well. "Well" can mean many things to different people. But overall, there seems to be a consensus that the media uses their own agenda and platform to try to influence public opinion. This has driven people away from watching the news because they don't want to deal with it any more. Now, many people get their news from...you guessed it...Facebook. If I had a nickel for every time somebody started a conversation this last week with "did you see on Facebook?" I would be able to buy me a new Go Pro!

On that note, can we also count all the times false stories have been sensationalized and shared on social media simply because a catchy title and a photo causes people to have a strong emotion towards it and make them want to share it on Facebook without fact checking it? It's done over and over again. Cecil the lion is a great example. The public outcry for a lion no one knew existed becomes an overnight sensation on Facebook while no one shares the planned parenthood videos because no one "wants to see that. It's too overwhelming." What's overwhelming is people's lack of passion for what's going on in our society. We would rather talk about if a dress is blue and black or white and gold instead of talking with our friends about the babies being mutilated next door to us.

I understand it's not pleasant. I have a hard time accepting the reality of human trafficking sometimes, and I work with it on a daily basis!! Many times I want to just live in a nice, happy Disney-fied world where magical things happen every day. But the reality is, we won't be able to enjoy feeling like Princesses when we have nukes pointed at our front porch or terrorists blowing up our buildings. We won't be able to afford Blue Bell if we have no money because we have to pay off a huge national debt. I know these are extreme cases, but they are possible if we head down this road and ignore the unpleasant things because we would rather talk about cat videos and pictures of cute hedgehogs with funny memes.

While I'm talking to myself as much as I am to my friends, there is hope for us. If Fox News is getting their ideas and leads on what to report from social media, what does that say about our influence in what society talks about?? We all now have an amazing ability to help shape our society just by clicking "post" or "tweet." We can influence what other people see just by sharing. But, just like Spiderman, "with great power comes great responsibility." While it's certainly fun to share dogs doing funny things, we have a responsibility to talk about important issues that we must address. What's cool is you don't even have to get out of your pajamas to do it. However, we have to provide a united effort to actively discuss and share ideas in order for them to get seen and shared by others.

However, this should be easy for us right? We are the UNITED States of America. Ok yes, we can insert a sarcastic meme here. As one of the candidates said on the debate, we are more like the Divided States of America right now. But we really need to change that. Instead of being polarizing arguers when we discuss politics or social concerns, we need to be active listeners and respectful debaters. If we can calmly discuss these issues, we can certainly come out the other side better people having listened to the opposing argument and expressed our ideas. Are we going to agree on everything? Heck no! But we have to have the conversation without ending up hating the other person.

So, therefore, yes. I have come to the conclusion that drawing an X on your hand and posting to social media has some merit. Sharing stuff on social media helps bring light to issues needed to be discussed. Then if you want to get the gold star, you would find a way to input your ideas and beliefs into your actions on a daily basis. If it's to stop planned parenthood, find a way to help adoption agencies. If you want to change a policy, contact your congress representative and let them know. If you want to fight human trafficking, I might be able to hook you up with a pretty awesome non-profit...

But ultimately, stand firm and united with your fellow American. Don't you think it's interesting that in order to gain more power, the current leaders in Washington D.C. have sought to divide us? All the more should we not see our neighbor as an enemy, despite their politics. Instead, we should treat everyone with respect and love them as humans.

Use your platform. Stand united. Love your neighbor.

Then we can enjoy those dub-smash videos in peace!

Listen Already

My little brother graduated college last month. That statement in itself makes me feel older than I actually am. 😳

However, this is not a post to talk about yelling at kids on my lawn. This is about something that has been on my heart for a couple of weeks. Now that it's marinated, I figured it time to pop it on the grill and share. 

At the graduation ceremony, the president of the school addressed the crowd and said if he had one thing to advise to the graduates, it would be to learn how to listen. It caused me to tilt my head to one side and go, "hmmm." 

He talked about our polarizing culture. Between ISIS, the upcoming presidential campaigns, Caitlyn Jenner and open carry legislation, you can be barraged by a number of opinions on all these things just by opening Facebook or turning on the news. With the dawn of social media, everyone get to have their say. Isn't that special?

Issue is, I learned in Elementary school that when everyone is special, no one is. We see this phenomena in social media constantly. While we post our opinions on blogs and Instagram, we can't wait to see how many likes or website visits we get. Then when we are underwhelmed by the response, we look to other blogs who say if you really want to be followed, you have to post more frequently, post about more controversial things, give your opinions more. More, more, more. It's the social media equivalent of shouting to be heard in a virtual world that is already on par with the decible of a jet engine. 

The more we post coupled with the less people respond, we become defensive and battle lines are drawn. We post comments on other people's posts with differing opinions, hoping others will back us up. Or, we just filter out differing opinions so that we can have a feel good pow wow in our minds, Anyone who gets more hearts or a differing opinion is instantly an enemy because they are taking all the likes. We pick fights just to win and make ourselves feel better. 

But ultimately, this behavior isn't driven by the desire to be heard, but actually by the desire to control people. Take an example from a heated argument Jared and I had when we first got married. He didn't do something that I wanted him to do. I had asked him to do it before because, after all, our marriage depended on him showing me love, right? When I asked him why he didn't do it if he knew that I had asked him to, he didn't have an answer. As the conversation went on, I just talked, and talked, and my voice got louder and louder until I was yelling at him and threw a pillow for good measure in order to communicate my anger. But what was driving me wasn't my desire for him to love me or understand me. It was my desire to control him and his actions. 

When we engage in social interactions either in person or virtually, many times we are just trying to control what other people think. We want to be a movie star so we can influence people. We want to inflict what we think on others by implementing political policies we like. We want to win the argument on social media so we can win over more followers who will wait with bated breath for our words on what to do or say. We want to curb the actions and attitudes that we don't agree with so we don't have to deal with them. 

This is the source of our polarizing culture: control. Everyone wants to control everyone else. Problem is, I can't even control Jared, much less a community of people. Our argument in our marriage wasn't settled until I actually shut up for a second and allowed Jared to talk without me planning my next retort in my head. Our society's arguments won't be settled until we do the same. 

I can't control what other people do, but I can decide how I am going to respond. Letting someone make a different decision after I have communicated my opinion is the most vulnerable I have ever felt. As I think about it, I feel like it's how God feels whenever we decide not to listen to him. However, He gives us true liberty to have free will and not be controlled by Him. I feel like in our culture, we will not have true liberty either until we decide to give up control. We need to shut our mouths and actually listen to people for what they are actually saying. We need to be ok with them not agreeing with us. And we need to give people the freedom to make their own decision. It can definitely be scary when everyone seems to be making a different decision than you. But I think we would be surprised by the impact we can ACTUALLY have once we finally decide to just listen.