Geocaching Road Trip to Kansas!

One of the reasons this summer was crazy was because Jared and I attended one graduation and four weddings in the span of three months. And most of them were across the country. So cue on of the biggest items on the list...a road trip to Colby, Kansas.

Now this wouldn't have been a big deal except for the fact that the longest road trip I had ever been on was from Dallas to San Antonio. So the twelve hour trek for us was certainly going to put my patience to the test.

Are we there yet?

Of course, we made the trip fun and geocached the whole way up and the whole way down, visiting some of the places we have wanted to visit for a while now. First stop, OKC!

This was a virtual geocache at the Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial.

It was so beautiful and quiet in the middle of the city.
Finally checked this off the bucket list.

The next logical stop for us was in Wichita, KS. We stopped for food and checked out some of the downtown area. It was very quiet and deserted for some reason. Almost felt like a ghost town except for the random statues of people and animals all around the plazas. We found some awesome and unique historical landmarks while finding our caches.

Travel pooch was not excited about meeting another "dog."
She said he was such a poser!

 Finally, we were able to get to our destination...Colby, KS! It was a cool morning as we did our long run and we checked out downtown Colby and it's unique buildings and monuments.

I guest that means there's liberty here right?

One of the "Oh My Goodness!" moments that happened while we were planning this trip was the fact that I had been listening to Podcacher right before this trip and they mentioned MINGO, the oldest surviving cache in the world. As I was planning our trip, lo and behold I found out MINGO was just outside the city we were visiting!

Cue fanfare!

So cool to be able to check this one off the geocaching list and add it to our favorites!

On the way back, we visited a few other notable caches.

Found this one at an old F14 off the highway.

Earthcache at a rest stop.

Final Earthcache in Oklahoma.

Somewhere over that hill is Texas!

While I definitely had the patience of a two year old on this trip while traveling in the car, it was so interesting to travel across the country like this. I pretty much always fly anywhere (hello...pilot's wife) and so getting to see the places I fly over from the ground was eye opening. Our country is BIG and filled with so many cool people.

Also, the cool thing I got to learn how to use was the geocaching road trip planner. It's a part of the premium membership, but this one tool alone was worth the cost of the yearly membership. We were able to search along the route we were going to take and sort based on location and favorite points. We found so many cool caches and were able to visit some amazing places we would never have known about otherwise. And that, is why we love caching so much in the first place.

We had a great trip, but I am so glad to be back in the best state in the Union...Texas!

I Don't Trust Very Well

It's an ongoing theme here in my brain...I am not one to trust people. My poor husband, bless his heart, went through the toughest "interrogation" period before we started dating before I trusted him enough to go out on a date with him.

I have a hard time trusting the people closest to me too. I read into things that people do (or don't do) and take things very personally. I'm an ideal-est having to adjust to a realistic world.

While we can have a whole discussion on my issues with that adjustment, I want to talk about how that personality trait affects my relationship with God. Maybe some of you can relate.

When I have big decisions to make or am going through a rough time, it's easy for me to turn to God and not trust him to come through for me. In the past, I have frequently pointed to all the bad things in my life and told God he was responsible for those and I didn't trust for him to not do it again. Or, if I am supposed to be waiting for God to answer a question I have or give me guidance on a situation, I frequently want the answer on my timing. I don't want to be patient for God because doesn't he see the deadline I have or the looming disaster that could happen if I don't know in time?

Then, because I don't trust him I get angry. I start yelling at him in my brain and accusing him of being late or absent or not caring about what's going on in my life. I think about things to do to disobey him just to show that I don't approve of how he runs things. But then, after I have cried into my pillow a bit I realize that he's such a patient Daddy, that he lets me have my temper tantrum like a five year old. Then he calmly says, I'm still here. I still love you and I'm not going anywhere. He reminds me that even if I can't see it, he's preparing me for something bigger than what I am even thinking. And then he asks the question:

Do you trust me?

It's these pivotal moments that seem so inconsequential. Step by step he leads us to where he wants us. Every time we get tired or angry that we haven't arrived yet he lets us express our emotions, calms us down and continues to ask us if we trust him. Before we know it, if we keep saying yes, we begin to see all the crazy things he has for us! I have the benefit to seeing my journey through college and see all the points where I said yes when I could have told him no and walked away. I am glad to say, I'm joyful I said yes every time. And the best part is, I know this is only the beginning.

I just want to encourage anyone that's reading this, that you may be going through a similar patch of life. You might be walking down this trail and wondering where the trail is even going. I just want to encourage you to say that if you faithfully keep telling God you trust him, you will not believe the incredible things you can do. The best part is, even if we lose faith, God never loses faith in us.

Goodbye 2014

Hello all my fellow readers!

So today is the day in the blogging world where we go back and reminisce on all that has happened in the last year. I will not be a trail blazer on this one. In fact, I talk about what has happened this year just like everyone else.

Last time I wrote, I was in what I like to call "survival mode." In a time where I was learning new things and adjusting to my new position at our church, I basically had no time and no will to blog. I kinda wanted to...but had no energy and frankly, nothing to say. Last time I talked about watering with salt water and how it may not make sense to us, but ultimately, God is the one who brings the harvest. Usually, he brings it around in a way that makes no sense to us as well.

Well, currently, I haven't seen a ton of harvesting yet. In a time where I talked about focusing on the most important things was getting hard, I lost focus a ton, at least in my opinion. I've allowed to-do lists and deadlines to come before people in many cases and it's not ok. I had a great quiet time a few days ago when I got some rest and realized that I have become quick to judge and quick to frustrate instead of extending grace where I could.  I have always known intellectually that grace and forgiveness costs more to the person giving it instead of the one receiving it. But only now am I truly experiencing it in my heart for the first time. Every time I extend grace I have to let go of the side of me that wants justice. Which, if you know me, justice is the thing I strive for A TON. I have a black and white view of the world and grace messes with that.

But, thankfully, my heart is learning just as much as my brain is. Yesterday, I had a meeting with two very special friends and right when I try to leave work to go meet them, two different men came up to the church asking for help. One was lost and needed directions. The other was looking for money to buy cough syrup for his family who had the flu. Working in downtown Dallas, you get use to the con-artists that come asking for money. But in light of the conversations I've had with God, I knew that this was Him asking me if I was going to blow these men off and not help because I had a meeting to go to, or if I would going to take the time to help and be late to my meeting. Judgemental side of me would have said, "If you weren't prepared, you deserve the consequences and your emergency shouldn't make me late to what I have to do. I'm...after all...a church worker and I have important things to attend to!" But, thankfully, I stopped and realized the situation and took the time to help.

Now I don't say all this as a virtual pat on the back to say "Great job me!" I tell these stories because, in review of 2014, I've had a great year. I ran my first marathon...the culmination of me overcoming a ton of mental and physical struggles I had in 2013. After my marathon, I learned how to deal with my depression that comes as a result of my PTSD. I got the opportunity to work part time at one of the greatest churches in one of the greatest departments. I ran coast to coast with my family in what have become some of my fondest memories. Jared and I were blessed with a house. It's been a phenomenal year. But yet, here at the end, I find myself yearning for more.

I got to have a great conversation with my mother-in-law who is also in ministry and she said something great about New Years Resolutions. Instead of making them about varying bars of success, make them about love. I've been all about varying bars of success recently (aka...how many things on my to do list can I knock off!), but this year I think God is calling me to make it even more about showing love to others. So looking forward, I am hoping to have more encounters like yesterday, with people who need help, and less about my crazy long to do lists. People are what God cares about the most. So I'm going to try to align my heart with his even more.

Happy 2015 everyone. I hope God blesses you and your family beyond your wildest imagination!

So I've recently been out of the loop on blogging. For good reason! It's been a bit of an introspective season of my life. I'm learning to be discreet with my words, including blogging, and not just spewing out dirty laundry whenever I feel like it.

I have been learning something very important though. I have talked about having dreams and longings that God has put deep in my heart. I greatly wish for people to get to know Jesus, especially kids. I long for women who have been broken by he sin of this world to have their hope restored by Him. I long to push myself and do things that I never thought I could in order to push my faith and keep myself constantly depending on God to show me the way.

All these dreams are good and in my eyes, worthy of pursing. I have taken the time to mull them over in my mind. Set up reminders of what my dreams are in my room. I've internalized them and set up my life around them.

But no one told me what happens when you take your dreams from that lofty space in your head and then try to birth them into the world.

The world has humans in it and therefore, is messy.

People either try to tell you your dream isn't good or worth pursuing. "It's a waste of time and talent!" Situations can place obstacles in your way that you have to overcome. There might be people who oppose your dream and directly try to stop it.

But what I've learned is that the important thing about bringing dreams into the world is focus. It's so easy to get caught up in the things that are impeding your dream that you focus on those rather than why you started the process of bringing your dreams into reality. Recently, I had a Sunday at church where everything seemed to be going wrong. While we had a "great" weekend as far as programing and tons of kids, I considered the weekend a miss because I focused on all the things that went wrong instead of pushing on and focusing on connecting to the parent's and kids that God brought to church that morning. I can get so focused on all the things that don't go right, that I forget to do the thing that I came to do in the first place!

This is the mentality that makes or breaks dreams. When I first started running, I thought that I had to follow a training schedule perfectly. And if I missed a workout, then the whole dream was ruined because I didn't do it perfectly. But that's the mentality the devil wants us to have when it comes to furthering the Kingdom of God. God doesn't demand perfection. He just asks for you to bring everything that you have. He then takes your natural and makes it supernatural.

So as you pursue your dreams, whether it be training for a big race or changing the world, don't forget to keep the vision of your dream the focus of your work. Don't get distracted by what isn't going the way you want it to. Simply bring you best, and let God do the rest!

Moses and Me

So I have had several awesome things happen over the last couple of days that I really wanted to share with you all! I mentioned in my last post that I was dealing with a ton of doubt. Doubt about myself, Redeemed, church, EVERYTHING it seemed. I was in a funk and having a hard time shaking it.

Well, I've had some great conversations with people. God's been connecting a ton of dots. It would take a long time to explain everything that has happened but God is opening small doors and providing hopeful avenues even when it seems there is no way.

The last few days I've been focusing on waiting and prayer. These are probably some of the hardest things for me to do! I'm a goal oriented, step by step process kind of girl! To not work and just wait for God and to talk to what I sometimes feel is thin air are two things that do not come to mind with someone like me who feels she needs to be doing something in order to feel like she's going somewhere. But, I've been learning a ton about prayer and hoping to get closet to God and on the same page. Not only am I asking him to change me into a person where I can listen better and trust better, but I'm praying that he make the paths for Redeemed straight and the barriers to be removed.

But it's been SLOW!

At the women's conference Monday where Redeemed was blessed with a table, I was able to sit in on the sessions. There, the speaker talked about waiting and she quoted 2 Peter 3:9

"The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance."

I was like, "Ok, God. I feel like I am easy to lose hope in you. I easily try to do things myself because I don't feel you working. Help me in my unbelief. Thank you for not giving up on me, even when I have doubt."

Today rolls around and I went for my run this morning. I listened to Breakaway Ministries where Ben Stewart talked about Moses and talking to the Pharaoh about letting the Israelites free. I realized that God had the power to defeat the Egyptians in one fell swoop. He could have done more supernatural plagues. Why would he tell Pharaoh that the judgement was coming? Why did he remove the plagues when Pharaoh asked? Why didn't he just skip to number 10 if that was what was going to set his people free?

I realized that God uses this pattern with the Israelites too in the prophets of the Bible. He constantly declared judgement and then deferred it when the people turned back to him. It wasn't until they had utterly renounced God that he gave them over to the Babylonians. If you look at God then, he was trying to be merciful to his people. He was trying to get them to repent of their ways and extend them grace. But notice that he never gave up on them. He rescued them from their bondage again and ultimately sent Jesus to save them forever.

If you look at the Pharaoh in that light, I believe that God was also attempting to show mercy to the Egyptians. Ben Stewart talked about how he knew that the "goings on" in Egypt were spread to the entire countryside and he wanted to make his name known. Not in an egotistical way, but because he knew he was what they needed.

God dragged out the process, which I know what frustrating for Moses and the Israelites. But the Bible says that a multitude went with the Israelites out of Egypt and I'm 90% certain that many Egyptians believed in God due to the plagues and went with the Israelites out of Egypt. God's name went out so far that even a prostitute named Rahab had heard of the God of the Israelites before they even arrived at the city walls. God's name went out so far, that centuries later, many who aren't even Christian know this story and can watch it in cartoon form in the "Prince of Egypt."

As I look at this and try to free people in my own culture, some obvious parallels occur. I feel like God is giving me the worst pep talk of the century. He's like, "I've put it on your heart to free these people, but you are going to encounter all these issues along the way." I'm starting to imagine what Moses felt like when God said, "Go tell Pharaoh to let my people go, but I'm going to harden his heart."

However, I believe that if God wanted to, he could free all the men, women and children being trafficked in the world this very instant. He has the power to do that. However, just like he has done for centuries, God likes to use people. It's his favorite medium to work with. God begins with relationships and even though I feel like he's dragging out the process and time is of the essence so no one has to be trafficked ever again, I believe God has a purpose. I believe he has a plan. I believe his name is going to be glorified because of the abolition of trafficking and I pray, that many see this work and accept his graceful love.

Am I frustrated? Yes. Am I patient? Not really. But do I trust?

Absolutely. Because he is faithful, even in my doubt.