So the last few posts have been about some crafty things I have been making. After I finished the bulk of the work, that fun part starts...the clean up! While I'm cleaning, I realize just how big of a mess crafting is, and why my OCD husband insisted on a craft room for me in our new house (aka...to contain my mess!).
This got me thinking. God is the ultimate creator. We all know the story from Genesis where he makes Earth and everything in it. But what my ADD brain thought of next was actually about how he made it. I thought about grade school science where I had to give a presentation about ecosystems. God didn't just create things on Earth, but he created them with cycles and balances. The death of one thing in an ecosystem actually gets reinvested in the environment to create something new. While it can be complicated to explain in a large ecosystem like a forest, I can see this simply in my backyard. Fall brings colder temperatures which tell the trees to start going dormat for the winter. This is why we get beautiful colors of leaves in the fall. These leaves eventually fall off into my yard. Then I can take these now dead leaves and compost them until spring when I can use them now as soil to plant new seedlings. We have taken something dead and used it to make something new. It's messy, and it's hard work...but it cretes something beautiful...like my garden.
This sparked an idea for me that I understood to a certain extent, but highlighted and expanded the importance of it in my head. If God made this reinvesting cycle into the very fabric of the Earth, this would probably be a good foundation to use in ministry too. We should design our ministry structures to not just extract what we can from what we have between people and money, but reinvest it into the very fabric of the ministry, especially in the people that come and serve. We should be thinking about how the work they do is not only investing in the people they serve, but in themselves as well. The work they do can reinvested into community and relationship building, flexing their spiritual muscles to step out of their comfort zones, or teaching them a skill they didn't know. We can find lots of different ways to invest in the people that come to work and volunteer in ministry that helps them outside the walls of the church as well.
It will probably be messy, and it might make me pull my hair out sometimes figuring it all out. But if we do it and God works in it, we as a church can create something beautiful.
So today is the day in the blogging world where we go back and reminisce on all that has happened in the last year. I will not be a trail blazer on this one. In fact, I talk about what has happened this year just like everyone else.
Last time I wrote, I was in what I like to call "survival mode." In a time where I was learning new things and adjusting to my new position at our church, I basically had no time and no will to blog. I kinda wanted to...but had no energy and frankly, nothing to say. Last time I talked about watering with salt water and how it may not make sense to us, but ultimately, God is the one who brings the harvest. Usually, he brings it around in a way that makes no sense to us as well.
Well, currently, I haven't seen a ton of harvesting yet. In a time where I talked about focusing on the most important things was getting hard, I lost focus a ton, at least in my opinion. I've allowed to-do lists and deadlines to come before people in many cases and it's not ok. I had a great quiet time a few days ago when I got some rest and realized that I have become quick to judge and quick to frustrate instead of extending grace where I could. I have always known intellectually that grace and forgiveness costs more to the person giving it instead of the one receiving it. But only now am I truly experiencing it in my heart for the first time. Every time I extend grace I have to let go of the side of me that wants justice. Which, if you know me, justice is the thing I strive for A TON. I have a black and white view of the world and grace messes with that.
But, thankfully, my heart is learning just as much as my brain is. Yesterday, I had a meeting with two very special friends and right when I try to leave work to go meet them, two different men came up to the church asking for help. One was lost and needed directions. The other was looking for money to buy cough syrup for his family who had the flu. Working in downtown Dallas, you get use to the con-artists that come asking for money. But in light of the conversations I've had with God, I knew that this was Him asking me if I was going to blow these men off and not help because I had a meeting to go to, or if I would going to take the time to help and be late to my meeting. Judgemental side of me would have said, "If you weren't prepared, you deserve the consequences and your emergency shouldn't make me late to what I have to do. I'm...after all...a church worker and I have important things to attend to!" But, thankfully, I stopped and realized the situation and took the time to help.
Now I don't say all this as a virtual pat on the back to say "Great job me!" I tell these stories because, in review of 2014, I've had a great year. I ran my first marathon...the culmination of me overcoming a ton of mental and physical struggles I had in 2013. After my marathon, I learned how to deal with my depression that comes as a result of my PTSD. I got the opportunity to work part time at one of the greatest churches in one of the greatest departments. I ran coast to coast with my family in what have become some of my fondest memories. Jared and I were blessed with a house. It's been a phenomenal year. But yet, here at the end, I find myself yearning for more.
I got to have a great conversation with my mother-in-law who is also in ministry and she said something great about New Years Resolutions. Instead of making them about varying bars of success, make them about love. I've been all about varying bars of success recently (aka...how many things on my to do list can I knock off!), but this year I think God is calling me to make it even more about showing love to others. So looking forward, I am hoping to have more encounters like yesterday, with people who need help, and less about my crazy long to do lists. People are what God cares about the most. So I'm going to try to align my heart with his even more.
Happy 2015 everyone. I hope God blesses you and your family beyond your wildest imagination!
Last month I talked about keeping focus on the important vision of your dream instead of everything that is impeding it. This month, I've been having to focus hard! While some great blessings have happened at church, the biggest thing that has been my obstacle is fear.
I actually thought I had gotten past this. My first few months of marriage I dedicated myself to trying things that I was fearful of to show myself there is nothing to be afraid of...ironically including gardening. However, I am discovering that I am a person driven by fear when push comes to shove and it takes a ton of mental focus for me to overcome my instinctual paralysis. The fears vary. I don't like disappointing people. I don't like disappointing myself. I don't like failing at something I have tried. I don't like not being able to help people. But if you look at the majority of my fears, they are self centered. It's me feeling bad that I'm trying to avoid. That fear can keep me from reaching out to others who are desperately wanting to know what hope there is in world.
What I am specifically struggling with now is I feel like I am getting advice and listening to people much wiser than me tell me how to most effectively run my ministries. I want and yearn for their guidance. Yet as I desperately try to follow these guidelines I get frustrated when they don't seem to be working. I get so passionate about my ministries, that I want to see instant results!
Yet God doesn't work that way. In fact, God doesn't work in any predictable manner whatsoever.
I LOVE listening to podcasts. I remember growing up I would listen to Adventure in Odyssey all day long for years on end whenever I was in my room, changing out the tapes every thirty minutes. I'd clean my room. Work on crafts. Do homework. There was just something I loved about listening to something while I worked, especially something encouraging or informational. I've recently stumbled across a podcast on survival. It's not your typical survival podcast, like, how to survive in the middle of nowhere while camping or hiking. It's also got things on how to make your home self-sufficient. While I might try a few of the things in the future, one topic of podcast actually caught my attention as it talked about aquaphonics. It's where your fish tank system helps grow your plants. The nitrogen produced by the fish gets dissolved in the water. You then take that water and water your garden with it, providing much needed nutrients to your plants. The plants then filter the water through the ground and root system, making the water purified for your fish. I had actually studied a bit of it in school and it's an ingenious system, especially if you are farming fish. However, one important note: you can't use saltwater fish because the salt will kill your plants.
Couple that with the passage I read this morning:
The men of the city said to Elisha, “Look, the city has a good location, as our master can see. But the water is bad and the land doesn’t produce crops.” Elisha said, “Get me a new jar and put some salt in it.” So they got it. He went out to the spring and threw the salt in. Then he said, “This is what the Lord says, ‘I have purified this water. It will no longer cause death or fail to produce crops.” The water has been pure to this very day, just as Elisha prophesied. ~ 2 Kings 2 19-22
Can you imagine if you were a farmer and you saw Elisha put salt in the water and proclaim it purified how perplexed you would be? No flashy magic-y sparkles flew out of it. No parting of the heavens with a hallelujah chorus. No indication that it wasn't just salt water. And he put it in the spring so the whole thing was contaminated! If I were a farmer, I'd be angry that he just put salt in the water that I'm supposed to try to grow my crops with!
There's no textual part that explains what happened after Elisha put salt in the water. But I can imagine he left and the farmers surrounded the spring and said to each other, "Well, it was bad water in the first place. It was worth a shot." Some might have said, "What the heck are we supposed to do with salt water?" But can you imagine that first farmer that decided to use the water on faith? Watering their fields wondering if the water would work or not, knowing they wouldn't eat if it didn't?
Sometimes in ministry it seems like we are watering our fields with salt water, wondering what the heck we are doing and thinking it will never work. But imagine the farmer's surprise when the crops started growing and growing abundantly because it was water purified by God. In ministry, we are told the harvest is plenty, but the workers are few. I wonder if this is because many don't believe that God can take whatever is salt water in our lives and use it make plants grow. Those salt water moments cause us to fear and paralyze us to tell others the Good News about Christ.
I know I have plenty of salt water moments in my life where I wonder how in the world God is going to use me for ministry. But if I let my fear hold me back, I will never get to see God work in the lives of those around me. I have no control in what happens in my ministry except my obedience to the authority of God and those he has placed over me. So, until I see my crops grow, that's what I'm going with. I'll get back to you when I start seeing buds!
So this morning I got a rare opportunity. I got to combine my love for running with outreach for my church.
It created itself out of a random conversation with my boss. He planned an outreach event for Saturday morning. I plan my long runs on Saturday morning. I told him about it, he said run while you are at the event. So I did!
I took a handful of flyers. After everything was set up at the park for the kids, I started down the road towards White Rock Lake.
People were sparse on the first two miles. I guess they were all watching Saturday morning cartoons. But as I came up on the road to the lake, there were TONS of people. I'm always scared to start up a seemingly random conversation. Plus, I didn't think about the fact that runners were going to have to stick my invitation somewhere or carry it in their hand. Some rejected my invite on the excuse they didn't want to carry it, but hey...once the first rejection was over and I didn't die, I got more confident and bold. I talked to a couple of guys running ahead of me, several couples and moms walking their babies in their ginormous strollers. The conversations were short, but powerful. So here's my short yet powerful takeaway.
We go through life and we seem busy. So much to do and so little time! But if we take a second and look around at the amount of people running along side us in the same neighborhoods, we have an amazing opportunity to just take a chance and invite them to experience the only institution Jesus established on Earth: the church. Jesus had the audacity to look up when he was busy in the middle of a crowd and see Zacchaeus. Jesus invited himself over for crying out loud (culture shock!) and life change happened.
Some people at my church are good at preaching the Word of God. Some are good at music. There are others that are good at lights, welcoming people, inviting people, taking care of kids, organizing things, making food. These are all good things, but the aggregate component of our parts as a church don't make life change happen. We can have the best people for all these things and not have a single person come to Christ. But if we put God in the equation, then the aggregate parts come together as a whole and supernaturally cause people to come to Christ and eternities are changed forever.
I'm good at running and getting better at screwing up the courage to talk to random people. I had way more rejections than people accepting the invites. Jesus warned that would happen though! (Mark 4) However, I have complete faith that Jesus will take those tiny conversations I had and turn them into life change, some way or another.
My question is, what has God called you to do at your church and are you doing it to the best of your ability? You can have faith with your gift too and I dare you to use it and watch God make it bigger and better than you could have dreamed.
One of my favorite movies, Pixar's Wall-E, where one little plant becomes a huge hope.
I feel like sometimes I am just a parrot, repeating things that others have spoken faithfully into my life.
Thankfully, this is not a bad thing!
Growing up one of my favorite bands was Newsboys. One of their songs, “Stepping up to the microphone” has a line that says:
“I say hello To anyone who's listening The message ain't nothing new I don't decide what's true.”
The story of Jesus doesn’t change. People, especially in the “Christian Culture” are looking for the newest revelation, the coolest new song, the hippest new message. Sadly, this becomes their pursuit instead of the pursuit of their relationship with Christ. So if your coming to my blog for the newest thing in Christian culture, I’m sorry but you are going to be gravely disappointed.
Recently, I’ve been going 100 miles an hour with work and volunteering. It’s been exhausting. But having God work through my life and seeing the miracles that have happened has been amazing. I’ve recently had the privilege of talking to one survivor of human trafficking that sought us out and wants to help others like her. We put a call out for musical instruments for our safe house and God provided a piano!
However, I’m starting to get to the point where I don’t know if I can give any more of myself. I feel like I’m giving and giving and giving. On the inside, I feel like a used rag that keeps cleaning up messes.
Then I see a tweet from Christine Caine, “When you ask God to use you, don’t complain when you feel used!”
However, the way God has used me has been much different than I anticipated. Thankfully, I’m normal. God’s grace and plan for our lives usually looks different than what we expect. I was reading John chapter 12 today. Jesus dines at the table of Lazarus (whom he raised from the dead) with his sisters Martha and Mary. Mary, moved by Jesus’ love and affection for her, took a pound of expensive ointment and poured it on Jesus’ feet. She then proceeded to wipe his feet with her hair. Many, including the man who eventually betrayed Jesus, were appalled at this action. They said, “This ointment could be sold to raise money for the poor.” But Jesus called them out on their lust for money and prestige rather than their compassion for the poor.
How many of us in ministry think that the only way we can reach people is to have an event or a fundraiser? Then, we use the "success" of our event or fundraiser to give us the prestige or honor we feel we deserve in the Christian community. All that ends up happening is we create a "formula" to ministry and if an idea doesn’t fit, we immediately strike it down. Then we never reach people who eagerly await to hear about the love of Christ they have been searching for!
Mary was showing her love for Jesus and didn’t care if it fit a formula or what people thought of her. Ironically, when we reach out to women in brothels as a part of our ministry, feet washing has been the key to getting in the door in the first place and showing love to these women. Jesus don’t exist inside the box. We, in ministry, shouldn’t confine ourselves to it either. We are creative beings by design and we should also be creative and open minded in how we minister to others.
Hawk Nelson says it well in a song called “Outside the Lines:”
"Don't worry, you'll do just fine. Our God is working all of the time. And when the sun comes up, You'll see He paints outside the lines. He paints outside the lines."
I’ll conclude with this. Jesus frequently used parables, metaphors and the like to get the lesson across. Later in John 12, he talks about a grain of wheat. Essentially, a seed. He says in verses 24-26, that a grain of wheat has the potential to become a plant and bear much fruit. However, unless the grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it will remain alone. But if it does fall into the Earth and die, it will make many more seeds which can also have the potential to bear much fruit.
However, biologically speaking, the seed has to actually die in order to transition from a seed to a plant. If the seed isn’t in the right soil, it will never have the opportunity to die. Unless the seed dies, it will never become a plant. Unless the plant gets the nutrients it needs, it will never produce fruit. If it never produces fruit, there will never be another wheat plant.
We have heard of this process a million times both in biology class and the church. We are created as humans to have the ability to produce fruit of the Spirit that overflows into others who need it. However, unless we die to ourselves and our pride and be transformed by the love of Christ, we will never have the ability to transition from a seed to a plant. Unless we take care of ourselves spiritually as well as physically, we will never grow. If we never grow, we will never produce new fruit and give others the ability to transition from seeds to plants.
Unless we put ourselves through the process of being used by God, we will never see the greatness and the glory of Christ. God never works the same way. We should never put a boundary or a box around how God can work. And when other people are eating the fruit we produce and learning about God, we should smile and know God is using us to reach others.
Hi everyone! I am joining a running team with Redeemed Ministries to help raise money for a new safehouse. Below is what I wrote for their blog today. Enjoy!
Hi everyone. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog.
It was a little under a year ago. One day, God challenged me when I had doubts about running. I was watching a TV reality show and the contestants were running a marathon. I instantly thought, "I could never do that." God said, "Really? I gave you a heart. I gave you legs and feet and lungs. What else do you need to go out and run?"
I realized that I had limited myself in what I thought I could do. Slightly angry at myself, I decided that I would train for a marathon. With no timeline in place, I started out walking, then running for a little bit. That turned into running more, which became running long and running frequently. I have amazed myself at what I am capable of and what I have probably been capable of for years. All I had to do was make a commitment to get out there when it was time to run, and believe in God that when he said, "You can a marathon," he's right. Who knows me better than the one who formed me?
When I learned about human trafficking, I was angry. I was extremely upset that this was happening on my watch. However, I had to wait for two years while God worked his perfect timing to introduce me to Redeemed. When I went to volunteer trainings, I was completely overwhelmed. It seemed like such a big culture driven problem that would take forever to overcome. How can a simple, young person like me do anything to change it?
But instead of getting overwhelmed, I helped out where I could. I saw needs and I said yes, I will help. Those small, seemingly insignificant "yes" moments have allowed me to see the hand of God work in these women's lives.
As I have sat down and really thought about how long a marathon really is, I get easily overwhelmed at the thought of it. But then I realize that just like any other run, I'm going to have to just take it one mile at at time. Just like the running, if you really sit down and look at the issue of human trafficking, it seems like a gargantuan issue. How can we change something that is so engrained in culture and help heal the trauma that these girls live with the rest of their lives?
My answer, just like running, it one small step at a time. We want to build a new safe house so that we can help more women who are coming out of these trafficking situations. We want to provide a place where they can feel safe and God can help heal the hurt and the pain that comes with what they have been through. One person can't do all of it, but if we all lean in the same direction we can really make a huge difference.
Thank you for supporting our team. Your pledge is the small bits that make a huge difference in the life of these girls! Look for more posts from our team as we run for freedom!
To make a pledge, please visit https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1gLF4zk5sR59Da6XEowhRCzvutVxNYyT0PbMvFnp_xmE/viewform!
Hi everyone! I hope you are as excited as I am about the coming Fourth of July holiday!
The Fourth of July has looked very different over the years for me. Some years it was rainy. Some years it was too dry to do fireworks. Some years I wasn't even home! But one thing that has always seemed to be the same is there has ALWAYS been a McBrayer in the parade! From my dad, brother and I doing Indian Princess/Guides floats (with dad in full Indian headdress!) to marching in the band, we seem to have always had someone walking by our house the morning of the Fourth of July. It's only been a year where that streak has ended, but I have so many fond memories of waving to the people, throwing candy, celebrating the fact that I was in AMERICA and sometimes, riding my bike through thunderstorms.
This weekend however, I heard a story from my brother. It's been on my mind for days now and it makes me appreciate those Fourth of July moments so much more.
My brother is studying abroad in Shanghai this summer. He's truly hard core! He was sitting in the library on campus this past week when suddenly, a Chinese student came and started talking to him. I mean come on, my brother is as white as white can be and the kid wanted to know more about the study abroad group of kids. He's not hard to find!
Little did my brother know however, that God had appointed this meeting as suddenly, the kid asked if any of the international students were Christian. My brother of course responded that he was Christian. The Chinese kid then confessed to him that he had just become a Christian five days ago! Hallelujah! But because he is Chinese, the government does not allow him to go to the international Christian churches. He has no way of learning more about God. If he wants to join a church or speak to others about Christ, he basically has to go underground and risk everything to do so. I'm sure his family ties will be strained. His friends will think he's crazy. He might even end up in jail. But this Chinese student was so determined to learn more about Christ, he is risking everything and sought out my brother to find out more.
Can you imagine being told what you can and cannot believe? We take religious freedom here so lightly sometimes. I include myself in that statement. Sometimes, we think it's no big deal for people to accept Christ because we are surrounded by Christians and people making that decision every week. At my church, we give them a whole book with the next steps after they make the decision to follow Christ! And yet this kid (because yes, he's my brother's age and they are kids haha) has the door closed in his face when he tries to find out more.
Hearing this story makes me reflect on what I have in America. America, where I can hop on my blog and freely write about what God is teaching me without worrying if I am going to be arrested. But what did it take for me to have that? People fighting for me. People laying down their lives for me literally. In the movie Saving Private Ryan, when Private Ryan learns that people had laid down their lives looking for him, he wanted to know their names. How many of us know the names of those who have fought for us? More importantly, why do we allow people to talk badly of our military and mouth off about how terrible of a country we are? Yea we may have our issues, but we have nothing to complain about compared to countries where their people can't even practice their faith without being arrested!
So as you BBQ this weekend and watch the fireworks, I hope you take time to truly appreciate the fact that you live in America. Then, say a prayer for the families that have lost loved ones, who are rehabilitating after injuries, who are still separated from their husbands, wives and kids. Then please, say a prayer for my brother's Chinese friend, and others like him, who are so desperately looking for Christ.
So growing up, I've always placed a big importance on how things look. I mean, Disney was just glitz and glam galore and I was always captivated!
But looking on TV at all the ads while I was on the stationary bike today really made me think, you know, that looks good. But does it really work?
This goes for people too. I've realized that someone you know may have the coolest jeans, the nicest car, the biggest house but when you get to know them they are a total jerk. Not all people are this way, but I'm saying it happens. When you meet people, yes we notice the outside. But I'm always careful to give the relationship time before I can tell what really makes them tick.
So my advice (which I'm taking up myself) is look past the fancy lookin' stuff. Something or someone might look cool or sound cool. But until you see how they work, how they treat other people, or they spend their time on, you don't really know who they are.
The great thing is, Christianity is one of the few things that can look cool and is genuine. Let me say, my church looks COOL. We got big fancy lights and great music and fun videos. Then, once you get past the glitz and glamor and get one on one with the people, you can see the heart beat of God reaching out to those who are searching for Him.
Hi everyone! It feels so good to not be packing or cleaning and get a break to write!
So a thought that I have been mulling over in my head has been inspired by this video:
I love that. It takes the idealized, distant Disney princess that many girls of my generation have grown up with and transcends it into daily life.
I think this is important. Let me tell you why.
I recently told a friend that I was at an anti-human trafficking conference. I was actually told a joke in reply later that if I wanted to help human trafficking, people needed to be told to stay on one side of the road or another. Let me say, this made me laugh so hard because I told myself the same thing everyday I was in high school and had to fight to get to class! The sad part of the joke is, however, that some of you might not realize it's a joke. When I say, "Human Trafficking," what comes to your mind?
Some of you might have seen the movie, "Taken" and that's what comes up in your head.
Some of you more educated on the issue might have visions of people in far off countries that are being kidnapped after being lured into the the false promises of jobs and then are forced to be prostitutes. That kind of stuff, in your mind, happens in Greece, the Philippines, Vietnam. Third world countries where people are desperate for jobs and are therefore, more vulnerable to being manipulated.
Some of you might even see a prostitute and say, "Well, she's desperate to make money and if there's a demand, then she can support herself and that's her choice."
My question is however, if you were posed with that situation, where you had no money and no one to support you, would you really WANT to sell your body to strange men over and over?
The problem is, I work with women who are born American. They are girls that you and I would go to school with growing up. We could have been on the same soccer team, the same dance class, the same debate team. We could have been friends. What happens is they find themselves in circumstances, not by choice, where no one loves them. Many times, they are even abused as kids. They are then exposed and vulnerable to people who see a demand for cheap labor or see the demand for "no strings sex" (as if that exists) and exploit these women to make them do what they want. These girls (they are my age for crying out loud) are forced and coerced into this. They trust someone that no one has taught them to distrust and find themselves in a situation where they fear for their lives or their family's lives if they don't do what they are told.
I could tell you all the things Redeemed does to help these women once they get out. I probably will some other blog. The problem is though, once they come to us they are already traumatized. They are already scarred and will carry that for the rest of their lives. What they need, is to not be abused in the first place.
So you may be asking, "How do you get from a Disney Princess video to sexually abused women?" Great question.
The thing is, we live in a culture where women are objectified. Men (and women. Yes, we are guilty of buying into the idea sometimes. I include myself in this statement.) see a women on a billboard or a magazine and they are selling something using sex. You look at the model in the window at Abercrombie. You don't think, "Oh, what a pretty girl. I wonder if she is nice and has dreams and aspirations of being a doctor." No. You think, "Wow that top looks really cute. I'm going to buy it." The women in the photos or on commercials become objects, not people.
This can be taken a step further into pornography. This isn't just a male issue, it's a women one too. It's so pervasive in our culture. We glorify it and call it, "The Twilight series." "50 Shades of Grey." "Cosmopolitan." "The sex scene of a movie." "The love story of a TV show." Honestly, if I wanted to eliminate it completely from my life, I would have to not have a TV or have a Netflix subscription, never go to the mall or drive on the street, never buy a magazine and keep my head down as I walk. That's how engrained it is in our culture. We buy into it. I include myself in this, like I've already said.
What normally happens is this mentality then begins to go just from fantasies in our head to realities in our heart. As humans, we like to make dreams become reality. In some cases this is good. Dreams are what drives us. What is bad is if those dreams are destructive and lead us to do destructive things. That's what happens when we objectify women in fantasy. We then escalate to making it true in our lives. That's why human trafficking will probably always exist unless something happens to stop the demand.
What I love about this Disney video is I look at these girls and I see them as GIRLS. They have hopes and dreams. They are into music, friendship, gardening, race car driving, archery. You can see they have feelings and love dancing with their Daddies. They like swimming with friends. What would happen to our culture if we saw women in our advertisements like THAT. What if we realized that it could be our daughters and sisters in that photo plastered on the wall of a mall. We would treat them totally different. It brings me to tears to think about that. I would be so joyful if I never had to work against human trafficking again. If I never had to see a girl and know the pain they have endured.
If I ever got the chance to meet Princess Kate, I don't know if I would have adequate words to say to her I'd be so starstruck. I mean come on people. She is idolized for being so poised and graceful, and she is. She is the quintessential of every girl's dream. She grew up in a non-royalty family and became a princess after falling in love with the man of her dreams! What girl doesn't want that? If I met her, I would treat her with the upmost respect and courtesy because she's ROYALTY.
Thing is, what if we treated everyone like that?
The Bible says in Romans 8:16-17a
"The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ..."
God created all of us. He values all of us just like we are his children. If God is the king, that makes us princes and princesses. All of us.
I'm a Princess, a daughter of the King. Treat my brothers and sisters like one too.
So I went to the mall a last weekend and as I'm waiting at the light to turn into the mall, the guy on a motorcycle pulls up behind me. I look up expecting some buffed up, terminator looking guy, clean cut with sunglasses and leather everywhere. So I was shocked when the guy, albeit very fit, had a ginormous beard...duck dynasty style. He also just had on a T-shirt and jeans with boots. But seriously people, if you looked at his face you would have sworn he had just stepped out of the picture of God painted on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel...he looked exactly like him! So I started laughing because in my mind, this was God on a motorcycle, which didn't seem to go together at first in my head.
But, if we take a step back, why should that seem like such a weird juxtaposition? If we say that God is with us, that means that He is here, in this world, with all it's good, bad and ugly sides with us. Why would it be so weird to have God riding a motorcycle with you or go to the mall with you, or go to the gym with you. I have no problem thinking this because for me, God going with me is always a comforting truth that I cling to when I travel anywhere (I have a ton of fear issues, haven't I told you?). Perhaps my imaginary friends growing up conditioned me to being accustomed with an invisible being following me around all the time.
However, I have found that this is a hard thing for some people to remember on a daily basis. They think about God being with them and they go, "Wow! That's amazing! I had never thought of that before!" Some people, I've noticed, actually get concerned about God going with them everywhere. I believe is a manifestation of the fear that things they do when nobody else is around are not quite as secret as they thought.
Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum of thought here, whether this is old news for you or a disturbing reminder, I hope you remember that God loves you no matter what. One of the best things about God is that you don't have to clean up before you come and meet Him. He already knows everything, you won't shock him. Instead He takes you up and not only spares you from what you deserve (death) but he gives you what you don't deserve (life abundantly). THAT is something worth sharing!
So, I'm starting to feel like a broken record. This is reinforced by the fact that I think I have said that before. So in the spirit of that, I can quote one of my favorite bands, The Newsboys, and their song "Step up to the Microphone"
I say hello
To anyone who's listening
The message ain't nothing new
I don't decide what's true
So when the stones get thrown
They either miss or
They turn to glory
Here's the story as far as i know
So. The not so news is that running isn't as hard as we make it. Some of you might gasp and say "Blasphemy!" but the honest truth is, you can do it if you put the work in. This can translate to life (of course). We may all be looking for your purpose in life. I talked a couple of blogs ago about having a vision for your life that comes from God. The thing is, how are we going to be ready for what God has for us if we never go through the preparation stage with Him? How will I ever run a marathon if I never prepare with training?
The other not so new news is that the more you are anxious on your run, the more energy you take away from running. How are you going to run even three miles if you are so anxious about your performance or if you will make it or if you can hold your pace or if you are doing better than the person who ran past you (get my drift?) if you are so anxious you are restraining your stride and not breathing? RELAX. My husband loves survival shows. The common theme on those shows with the ones that survive and tell their stories is that you MUST maintain a positive attitude to survive. You will never survive a race mentally if you think negative thoughts all the time. This absolutely will affect your race.
Plus, this is supposed to be fun right? You bet ya! I'm not the biggest fan of late night comedy, but I read recently a quote from Stephen Colbert after the Boston Marathon Bombing in Runner's World magazine. He noted that the Boston Bombers obviously hadn't considered the toughness of marathoners - "people who run 26 miles on their day off until their nipples are raw - for fun." It's so true! But how are you supposed to enjoy your race like you were meant to if you are constantly dogging and doubting yourself the entire four or five hours? Marathoners have to learn the power of positive thinking in order to get through. This is shown in everything else they do. I am of course, not happy that the bombings happened. But I am happy to see a community that looks at the events and thinks about others rather than themselves. It is so easy to think negatively after a traumatic event but as a whole, the community has come together to think positively, and keep running.
Lastly, I wrote last week about how I was struggling for a vision in my running and how I was looking to God to give it to me. My dear friend Ginger called me yesterday. She is amazing people. I have come to love her very much and she has become somewhat of a mentor to me. She has a couple of marathons under her belt and gave me some of the best perspective today. She said that running can be just a sweet time with God if you allow it to be. Oh how she was right! I strategically placed worship songs on my running playlist today and it honestly gave my run the boost it needed. It was just me and God and the birds in the trees jamming out together. It's honestly hard to be anxious about anything when you know that no matter where you go, God is with you. No matter where we go, Emmanuel.
“Look! Thevirginwill conceiveandbeara son, andthey will callhimEmmanuel,” whichmeans“Godwithus.
Hi everyone. I'm sorry it's been a few days but I've thankfully been busy learning about psychology (go figure) for trauma and then I made a super quick, morale boosting trip to Dallas. It was perfect. I got to spend some quality time with my brother, mom and of course, Jared and it really gave me the spark I needed to keep going this week with a ton of motivation!
Which brings me to my title of this blog, "Life is What You Make It." Hopefully you know me well enough by now to know that this has nothing to do with us being in control of our life. God is the one who places our footsteps down the right path and shows us where to go. He knows best. But what we can choose is to go willingly, or fight him every step of the way. I look back on my time since high school and how I made choices based on prayer and faith and God has worked miracles in my life. They say hindsight is 20/20 and my hindsight shows me that God is in control and He has better plans that I could have ever dreamed of. We can either enjoy the journey and lean on him, or we can moan and complain and fight with him the whole way. Whichever way it works out, we will eventually know that He is God.
"Outside The Lines" by Hawk Nelson
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh,
oh oh oh, oh oh oh
I had two left feet and dreams to spare,
And I knew I talked too much.
But my dad said, "You'll go anywhere,
If you just tell the truth with a song."
Well, I wasn't sure how this could turn out right, oh
But he looked straight into my eyes and said,
"Don't worry, you'll do just fine.
Our God is working all of the time.
And when the sun comes up,
You'll see He paints outside the lines.
He paints outside the lines."
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
I guess somehow, somewhere, I grew up,
But I'm still that kid at heart.
Oh, my girl laughs when I'm serious
Don't got much money, but baby, we've got trust
I'm not alway sure if this will turn out right, oh
But she looks straight into my eyes and says,
"Don't worry, we'll be just fine.
Our God is working all of the time.
And when the sun comes up,
You'll see He paints outside the lines.
He paints outside the lines."
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
Someday, we'll walk our kids down to the street, oh
We'll send them off with all our hopes and dreams, oh
When they're not sure how this could turn out right, oh
I'll look straight into their eyes and say,
"Don't worry, you'll do just fine.
Our God is working all of the time.
And when the sun comes up,
You'll see He paints outside the lines.
He paints outside the lines."
I'll say, "Don't worry, we'll be just fine.
Our God is working all of the time.
And when the sun comes up,
we'll see He paints outside the lines.
He paints outside the lines."
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh,
oh oh oh, oh oh oh
Howdy everyone! How's your Thursday morning going?
Mine's been a little tough. I just had to drop the hubby off at the airport for a few weeks of intense training on his part. I don't know exactly when I will get to see him again although I know I will at some point. It's always tough for me (or anyone for that matter) to drop someone I love off at the airport. First off, I'm going to miss them. Second, I'm jealous because I want to travel too! I hate saying goodbye no matter how long it will be before I see someone again.
This time however, was a bit different. Today was something that's been looming in front of me for a few weeks now and I would always get sad when I thought about it. Same for Jared. But yesterday we sat down and talked about how were feeling and how we would deal with everything going on. What we discussed coincided with something that we heard this weekend and it really helped. I thought I'd share for you in case you need to hear it.
This weekend we went to Fellowship Church Dallas, our future home church, so that we could see what it was like. Pace Hartfield gave the message. He's someone that I've always looked up to since my high school years since he was the youth pastor when I was attending the Mix. I still look up to him and what he had to say really spoke to my heart.
He talked about how we all need a reminder sometimes. That's why we have things like Memorial Day. In the Christian's case however, we also need a reminder that God loves us, no matter what. So many times, we get caught up in what we do and let that define us. We let circumstances define our identity and what the world says about us define our self worth. It's an outside-in flow of information and unfortunately, it's not the way to live.
I do this all the time though. I mean, if I go look at my Facebook, it's got all sorts of stuff on it that defines me to the world. I'm a Children's Pastor. I volunteer on a weekly basis. I like to craft as evidenced by my Pinterest posts and I am constantly running as exercise. Even my exercise has become a means for me to help others thanks to the Charity Miles app. I like to watch crime solving TV shows and I like to read. I'm married to the most amazing man ever and if you look at my pictures, I'm usually acting slightly goofy. So if we were to define me just by my Facebook page, I'd be pastor, runner, crafter, wife and volunteer.
But you know what runs in my head often? Questions like, "What happens if I can't run anymore?" "What happens if I don't volunteer?" "What happens if my husband is gone?" "What do I become if I ever leave the ministry?"
You see, if I define myself by what I do, those things can change and I experience identity crisis. I've experienced it once before, right after I got married! I mean, when you change your name and move to a different city, it's really easy to feel like you are a totally different person. But what I learned after I got married, and was reminded of after attending church this weekend, was that I am not defined by what I do, but who's I am. This blog is titled "The King's Daughter." That's not by mistake. I am the daughter of the one true High King. God is my heavenly Father and someday I get to spend eternity with him. He loved me so much that even before I was born or learned about Him, He died for me without any guarantee that I would love Him back.
So I feel like I would miss the point if I never shared with my audience, if I even have one, the reason why I do everything I do. I love God with all my heart, more than anything. From that love I begin to love the things that God loves, which includes teaching children about him, helping others in need, taking care of the body he gave me, and enjoying life to the fullest.
As I go into this next phase of my life, changing cities once again and changing churches and learning a new lifestyle as my husband starts his next part of his career, I am choosing to remember the fact that no matter what, I am the Lord's. Instead of the world and what I do defining me from the outside-in, I'm allowing my identity in Christ influence my world from the inside-out. And honestly, it looks a ton more exciting!
Hi everyone. Today has been one of those days where people tell you it will happen, but you never really expect it in your own life.
Today was the big day of the garage sale. We woke up at 5:30 this morning and headed over to the church. My team and I have been working hard on this garage sale for a month or so now. I honestly have the best team. They have dug into the trenches with me and had my back the whole way. We made it to church by seven, put up signs and started putting things out. People were already looking through stuff and we had barely made it out the door with the first load. It was ridiculous.
There were a few things I would have done differently. Like, I underestimated how much change I needed and we ran out of bags for people to take their stuff in. We could have used more help. We had to rearrange things as the day went on to try to sell them. Whatever. I prayed this morning in the car with Jared before we pulled out of our apartment complex, that we would have tons of people, but they would be spread out over the time we would be open and we would not be overwhelmed. And that's exactly what God did!
As I was watching, we did sell some big ticket items. We sold a ton of toys and clothes. But these things were going at like $0.25. This cute little kid came up with a puzzle and a quarter and set them on the table and then just smiled at us like it was his birthday. So I'm adding things up as the day goes on. I know what I sold just to the church body "pre-sale" and I know how much the vendors paid to set up booths. So I had figured between all that and the stuff that was selling today, I would have around $600 at the end of the day. I was discussing with parents what our next fundraiser would be and when.
We finally put everything away, cleaned up and sat down to count the money. I was only half paying attention as I put tables back in our cafe. Suddenly, one of my team members told me to come over as they counted. I was shocked to watch the small numbers grow, and grow, and grow to suddenly, the total came out to well over $1,000.
This is where the whole, "people tell you it will happen, but you never really expect it in your own life" moment comes. I remember people telling me that if I just kept working for the Lord, no matter how hard or daunting or frustrating it gets, God will bless it. I had worked hard on this garage sale with only the help of my small (but amazing) team and was really wondering if it all was going to be worth it. We had just counted the money and God gave us over double what I had expected. When I realized what God had done and that ALL the kids that had participated had camp paid for, I honestly started crying. I was so overwhelmed.
I don't have the opportunity to come and sit and have coffee with everyone like I want to in life. It's just not physically possible. But to anyone that reads this, this is my encouragement to you (over coffee of course). You may feel in a place where God is silent, where you work tirelessly for him and have nothing to show for it. All I can say is, don't give up. Moses had to run to the desert and hide before he was asked to part the Red Sea. I firmly believe there are seasons in life where God has to teach us things and grow us a bit before we are ready to do the amazing things God has for us. It may seem like a desert at the time, but when you look back you are going to know that it prepared you for the amazing things God does in your life!
"This saying is trustworthy:
If we died with him, we will also live with him.
If we endure, we will also reign with him.
If we deny him, he will also deny us.
If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, since he cannot deny himself."
Hello everyone. Sorry it's been so long (a whole three days!) since my last post but it's been a bit crazy out here. We have a big garage sale this weekend to raise money for kids camp and it's been a week long project to get all of it organized and priced. We got it done today though! Tomorrow all we have to do (I say ALL in the loosest of definitions) is get the tables set up in the hallway so that when 7:00 am Saturday rolls around, we just have to move the tables out and we are open for business!
Here's a picture of the stuff BEFORE it got all organized and priced.
Yes that is my dog. She was "helping" haha.
And that picture was even after my fabulous team went through the first pass and at least "lumped" like things together!
So this week has been crazy! Not only do I mean by my schedule just been jammed packed, but the world suddenly decided it was going to be a dramatic week. We started with bombs in Boston, tornadoes across the country, ricin being mailed to government officials and now we had a fertilizer plant explode just north of us in West, Texas. They had to evacuate the entire city! It's weeks like these where I think, "Did the world just decide to have some crazy pills?" I struggle sometimes when things like this happen. What's the point of trying to achieve things, work so hard, etc when someone is just going to destroy all the time? I'm sure that's how many of the runners feel. They worked so hard to first, qualify for the Boston Marathon, and then compete in the Boston Marathon. Then someone took the completion of that goal away from them with a single decision.
But what I have to remember, is that the devil is the one responsible for these things. His agenda is to steal, kill and destroy. He is loving the havoc and destruction that is happening. But God is not gone. He is not absent from the situation. God is placing people at the right place, the right time and providing help for those who need it. God is not fighting for victory. There is no desperation in his conference room. There is no emergency meeting going on. God is already victorious! God is placing on the hearts of many to look beyond the pain and the doubt. He is pressing on his church to go out and help and provide care for those who need it. There are countless stories of those in Boston giving blood, inviting runners into their homes, Texans helping those in West whom have been displaced. This is God at work. This is God showing yes, something terrible happened because we live in a world where we feel the effects of sin. Yet I have overcome the world and you just need to hold on to me.
So take heart. Read John 16. Then finish the book! Jesus came so that we can have life, and life to the fullest, no matter what.
Hello everyone! I was really worried about the weather today as it was still cold and rainy when I left out the door this morning. I went in and gave a presentation for Redeemed for the lovely ladies at Lakewood United Methodist Church (thank you everyone for having me!) and when I came out, it was sunny and beautiful! It's days like today where I truly appreciate my eye surgery. The colors in the full sunlight are SO vibrant and when I look around the details still astound me. Don't know if I will ever get used to it. Don't know if I want to. Thanks Mom and Dad. This surgery really has changed my life!
Now like any other presentation I give, I get really nervous before hand. I definitely suffer from "waiting in the wing" syndrome. But one thing that I learned from running is that everything seems better with a good song you can belt along to. So as I waited in the Starbucks drive through to treat myself to some dark roast coffee, I turned on Fellowship Creative's "All About You" album and sang all the way to the church. It not only put me in the right frame of mind for the event, but I also felt so much better about giving the presentation. Again, if you didn't read my post from yesterday, we really do magnify what we focus on!
When I got home this afternoon, my first priority was to get my computer back in order. First of all my computer's name is Mic (stands for "Made in China"). So Mic the Mac had to go to the Mac computer hospital to get a new logic board. But the good news is, Mic is back and kicking again. Hopefully Mic will last me a whole bunch of years more!
Part of the process of getting Mic back in working shape (because he basically came back factory new) was to get all my songs back and organized on my iTunes library. Thankfully, I had most of the files on my Time Capsule AND iTunes lets you re-download any song you purchased ever if you ever lose the files. Hallelujah!
It was kinda hilarious going back and seeing songs I had downloaded all the way back in high school. This included all the Spanish songs I had to download for Spanish oral projects (Juanes!) and several hits from the early 2000's (Smash Mouth anyone?). I also found all the songs my mom and I had downloaded in the Alamodome waiting on my brother's high school marching band to perform for State. Old School Rock and Roll Classics! Then I hit a period in my life where I wasn't too careful about the types of songs I was downloading, much less the lyrics. They weren't even on par with the old school rock and roll musically. They were really just junk. I remember what a dark period in my life that was too. I was a very negative, skeptical person. I knew all the answers God had to life, but I was too prideful to let him in and actually work in my life.
And then, even more recently, I was looking for running songs! I saw a pin on Pinterest about some of the best running songs around. Most of them are things from like...Maroon 5, Beyonce, Pitbull etc. Needless to say, even though they are not uplifting songs, I bought them because I thought they would help me get pumped during my run.
But you know what I realized? One of those songs would come on and yea, I would nod my head to the beat and enjoy the "pop-i-ness" of the song. Then I would get tired of it halfway through because the artists are singing about stupid things or don't even make sense. But then a song like Stellar Kart's "We Shine" would come on with much more musical drive and meaningful lyrics and I would have a REAL boost of mental and emotional energy to go faster or longer on my run.
So as I went through my iTunes library today, I had to make some choices. Do I really download those songs again, or leave them off? I'm glad to say I deleted some. Others, I haven't heard in so long I don't remember them. I'm going to reevaluate as I hear them. But I'm going to really be strict on myself. Running is something that I find so positive in my life. It changes my mood and helps me de-stress. I need to make sure my music helps me focus on those things that are important and more than anything, glorify the one who I'm running for!
If you are looking for new music, I highly suggest going to air1.com. They are a positive, Christian rock radio station. They really have some songs on their website that I love! You can even head bang to some. Others come on and make me just dance in my seat! Plus, any station that plays Switchfoot on a regular basis definitely has my vote!
Cue the Olympic theme on my iTunes as I finish this post! God has a sense of humor people!
When I was little, I was fascinated with stars. I remember going out to church camp where there were no city lights and being able to see tons and tons of stars and even the faint glow of the milky way. I also remember looking up in my driveway growing up and only seeing a few stars and thinking, "What a shame we can't see more here!"
That's when dad and I got our telescope. I remember waking up at crazy times of nights and laying back on our lawn chairs to watch meteor showers. We bought a star chart and I would line up the day and the time and we would set up our telescope by the pool and look at the moon, Saturn (my favorite), Jupiter, Mars, the stars in Orion's belt, ALL OF THEM! I was so fascinated!
The truth is, I still am! I love stars and I love looking up (beyond the planes my husband is looking at haha) and seeing all the glowing bodies of light in the constellations I've known for so long! We recently went on a trip to Big Bend (to read THAT blog and see the video, click here: http://daughterandwife.blogspot.com/2013/03/big-bend-state-park.html) and I was amazed at all the stars I could see again after so long!
Tonight, I did an activity with my kids on stars. It was awesome as my preschool director and I decided to do a class together with preschoolers and elementary kids. They were hilarious to watch and were so into the Bible story on creation! I loved every single bit of it! Once we covered creation, I showed the kids a "mini constellation" map I had made by poking holes in aluminum foil. They ooohed and ahhhed and tried to guess what each one looked like to them. Then I let them make their own.
The greatest part about it was that I was able to think about those times with my dad. How we would look though the telescope and the star would be magnified. I would see all the details of the star, planet, whatever and think, "Wow! God made that!" God's glory was magnified as my telescope magnified the star I was looking at!
What's cool when you think about it, is we are like telescopes. Whatever we focus on, we magnify. If we focus on negative things, negative things get magnified in our life. If however, we focus on God, God in all his glory and power is magnified in our lives!
Think about Isaiah 43:1-7. In this passage, God says he:
Created you
Redeemed you
Calls you
Keeps you from all manner of destruction
Is your Savior
Thinks you are precious
Loves you!
Isn't that amazing? God's glory is displayed the greatest when we have a delight in all that he is; through all that he created, all his love, mercy, kindness, justice, and power! It's hard to wrap your mind around God, but I think that's the point! He is so amazing we can just think about what he did for us, then lean into him and whisper, "Wow!"
So as we run, and we have plenty of time to think, what are you thinking
about? Is it all the problems in your life? All the stress, the
worries, the annoying people, whatever. Or is it the fact that God gave
you everything you have and loves you no matter what?
"But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you. I will say to the north, Give up, and to the south, Do not withold; bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth, everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made."
One of my favorite songs is "Everlasting God" written by none other than my church back home, Fellowship. It is one of those songs I love to belt out in the car and no matter where I land on the mood spectrum, that song always makes it go up!
I was reminded on many of my runs recently that God is really everlasting. Recall if you will, your history classes. Remember Abraham Lincoln or James Bowie or [insert favorite historical character]. We could even go back further and talk about people in the Bible. Moses, David, Adam, Abraham, Rahab...you name it! I know surely I am speaking for myself (wink, wink), but I tend to almost raise these people to an elevated platform. I remember only the good things these people have done so I think of them as these heroes that did amazing things.
Talk about a resume! So with all this experience and prestige he had behind him (hello...first President of the United States) I thought that this would have given him the confidence to deal with anything in life.
However, someone made a new billboard. I run by it now all the time. I have no idea who made it, but I like it. It has a picture of George Washington kneeling in the sand saying, "Lord, I trust in you. Guide my in your ways." The quote is from his journal that he kept the winter he was stationed at Valley Forge.
God was there for George Washington when he needed to ask God for guidance. George Washington had difficulties. He had pit days. He was faced with history altering situations that I am sure caused a great deal of stress. And who did he go to for help? Jesus Christ.
Jesus has been comforting and leading people all through history. He is timeless. He is EVERLASTING. People in history (including your favorite historical figure) have experienced many of the same feelings you are now and God helped them when they asked.
I have been recently been listening to Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis (talk about MY favorite historical figure). He talks about how when it comes to moral standards, we typically hold everyone else to high standards but relax them when it comes to ourselves because we give ourselves excuses on why we don't apply to the moral standards. We have an inside scoop on us. We're tired, hungry, busy, have more important things to do, whatever and so we don't have to extend the same courtesies that are expected from everyone else.
This thinking happens in our view of God too. We see God helping people and changing their lives, past or present. But because we know our inward sin and understand the full extent of our depravity we say that God cannot do the same in our lives as He does in others. This is a lie.
The problem we have with everyone else is that we don't see the behind the scenes. When it comes to dealing with others, we don't see that someone is tired or dealing with stressful situations and so we get mad when they don't say hi or cut us off on the highway. When it comes to historical figures, we don't get the stories of internal struggles in our schools. We hear and get tested just on the results of those inward struggles. When it comes to God working in the lives of those around us, we don't fully understand their deepest darkest secrets and so we say, "God can't help me. I've gone too far in my sin. My life is too much of a mess."
My question is why CAN'T God do the same for you? When we find out that a stranger is dealing with cancer we treat them differently and give grace to them when they snap at us after a chemo treatment. When we find out that George Washington himself bowed a knee to God in his most difficult situations it changes our view of him from an elevated platform to a position that looks much more like our own. When someone opens up and shares about the full extent of their past, it allows us to understand they aren't much different then ourselves and there might be a chance that God can use and change us too.
The truth is, God can do anything. God is everlasting. The almighty. He
was the beginning and He will be the end. God used the broken and "too
far gone" people all throughout history. I found this pin on Pinterest
and I wanted to share:
Talk about the unlikely being used by God! However, God wants to use you BECAUSE you have your problems. He wants to take them and transform them in a way only God can. God wants to show the world Himself through your deepest fears, insecurities and failures. Don't discount them. Give them to God. Then, watch what amazing stuff He does next!
So last night Jared and I had the privilege of attending the Redeemed Gala at the Bayou Music Center! It was amazing and full of tons of people!
One of my favorite parts was definitely the entertainment. An acappela group called Homefree performed. It was AMAZING. I love the show, "The Sing Off" so I was in acappela heaven watching these guys live! You can check them out at the link below!
One song they performed was Josh Turner's "Your Man." One part of the lyrics stuck with me all the way to today. They say:
"I can't believe how much it turns me on
Just to be your man."
I thought this was a weird thing to say at the time.
As Jared and I were in the car most of the day moving stuff for our Garage Sale at church (Advertisement: Raising money for Kids Camp! April 20th!) I had much time to ponder these couple of lines. I don't know what Mr. Turner was thinking when he wrote this song but I thought about it through my situation (a marriage between a man and a women who made a commitment to each other for life, just FYI). As I thought about it that way, I thought about Jared. Out of all the women in the world he chose me! As I thought about that I thought about one of my favorite characters in the Bible, Esther. She, out of all the girls the king could have chosen, was chosen by him. I always thought she would have been scared, yes. But when I think about Jared choosing me, there is this feeling inside of me that I don't know how to describe. The best I can do is say that I feel loved. I feel cherished. I feel special. There's this flutter in my heart, I almost feel weightless and all I want to do is kiss Jared. I imagine Ester may have experienced some of these things even if the marriage was "arranged." After all, she helped save the king when people were plotting to kill Him! But Jared choosing me causes me to love him and want to express it to the world!
Let's take it a bit further. In the Bible is says is 1 Peter 2:4-5, "As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ." God chose us because He loves us! Just like my feelings toward Jared, knowing that God chose me and loves me makes me feel that inexplicable feeling again and all I want to do is show the world that I love him the more and more I realize the extent of his love. And this feeling is actually different than the one I have for Jared. When it's God I'm loving, this feeling is greater and deeper and more powerful because God is greater and deeper and more powerful than Jared (sorry babe but you know it's true).
So my hope for everyone else that I meet is that I hope they also realize the depth and the breath of God's love for them. It's one thing to ask him to be your savior; it's another to accept his love and let it infiltrate your life.
The best way I can finish this up is to quote another song that I absolutely love. I don't know the author, but it's called, "The More I Seek You." Think of is as brain candy for your next run!
The more I seek you
The more I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you
I wanna sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hands
Lay back against you and breathe
Feel your heart beat
This love is so deep
It's more than I can stand
I melt in your peace
It's overwhelming
I admit. I have loved TV my entire life. It's something that I have had a love/hate relationship with as I try to juggle productivity with sitting on the couch enjoying a TV show. Plus, being honest, there isn't a lot being produced out there that is actually worth my time.
But there is one TV show that I must credit my roommate and long time friend Ashley for introducing me to. It had been on for a few years at that point and I was a little put off by the title. Biggest Loser? That seems really demeaning to me. But she finally got me to sit down and watch it with her and it it has gone from the "Never want to see it" category to "One of my favorites."
Sidenote. There are people and situations involved with the show where I don't necessarily agree with personal lifestyles or methods. But I'm not here to talk about that. Just like I don't want people to look into my own personal life and talk trash based on their own opinions, I'm not going to do the same to anyone else.
What I love about the show is that they show us people who are faced with a challenge. This challenge can be mental, emotional, spiritual but no matter what it manifests itself in their weight. People look down on others who try to drown their problems with alcohol or drugs but nobody talks about the abuse of food as a means to try to drown out emotional and spiritual pain. But that is what is happening. And the scary part is, they are showing us people who are just like us. We all have personal pains, frustrations and hang ups that we either decide to overcome or cower in fear from.
Then what they do on the show is not just teach the contestants about what it takes to be physically healthy, but they force them to face their pains and hang ups and deal with them. The process is dramatic, messy, gross at times and confrontational. Everybody loves watching Jillian, Bob and Dolvett kicking butt.
But there is a reason why we love the finale. The transformation is amazing.
We finally get to see the amazing difference both physically and emotionally achieved by the contestants. The beauty of it, all you have to do is watch what you eat and WORK OUT. No magic! But we all know that is much easier said than done. And so we watch these people on TV and we think, "I wish I could accomplish that" because we know how hard it is!
It was actually a moment just like this where I was watching a previous season posted on Netflix, and the last four contestants were all running a marathon. Ada, a small amazing Asian woman who I looked up to through the show got on the screen and said something to the effect, "You can do this too."
This is when I go, "Yea right."
I start thinking in my head. Yes, I love to run. Yes, I would love to run a marathon. However, I can't go for a long time. I was that kid in P.E. wheezing with asthma and could barely run around the gym. I would constantly get passed by the faster kids. Even today, I can barely keep running for up for one minute. Much less the 4-6 hours it takes to complete a marathon. You had Bob Harper to help you. I got nobody and no time.
This little voice came into my head, "Really Maddie? What about me?"
It was then I realized I was in trouble.
Truth is, I got God. God is the man. He made my body. He made my heart, lungs, legs, mind. He knows me better than I know myself. He's like, the best personal trainer anyone could ask for! He than told me, "I gave you all the things you need to run a marathon. There is nothing different about you than anyone else. What is holding you back is that you are afraid of failure so you are not going to even try."
Ouch.
Then God said, "I want you to run a marathon."
Say what?
So I know you are probably thinking I'm crazy at this point, saying to the world, "God wants me to run a marathon." But it's true. Here's the thing. He's not asking me to quit anything that I have been doing. I'm still doing my job, I'm still hanging with my husband, hanging out with friends and family. I'm not doing this to say, "Hey, look how cool I am." I'm doing it to be obedient to God and through it He is showing me how much I am capable of doing.
I started out in August just running 30 seconds every five minutes. I found a great training program that increased my running time each day. After four months of training, crying, anxiety, asthma and anger, I just ran for a full hour last Friday. I went a whole five miles. I had to get in the shower quick to take care of my asthma that was flaring up. And while in the shower and cried. I never thought I could do that. I never in my life thought that I could run that long, think it was fun, struggle at the end and still make it past my goal. I never thought I could. But I did. All because I was obedient to a call and put in the work to make it there.
I have faced my fears on this journey. I've understood I've let fear reign for too long in my life. I've let laziness keep me from doing things I wanted to. I've realized I held onto things that were keeping me from bigger and better things down the road. I've been blessed on this journey to have my husband right along side me and we have faced some of my biggest fears together (like needles!) and in the process have begun to live healthier lives.
Am I near to a marathon? Not yet. But I'm closer than I was back in September. So as my 10K comes up and the new season of the Biggest Loser starts I watch with tears as some new people start on a journey so much like my own and I have become very reflect-ful (can you tell?) about all that God has done in my life. I also find it fitting that my 10K at the end of the month is being held by none other...than the Biggest Loser.
So here I am. I'm on the flip side. I used to be that girl on the treadmill feeling stupid for trying to run a minute while the girl next to me was at minute 20. I used to think, "I could never do that." And now I'm the girl on the treadmill turning to the person next to me trying to run a minute and saying, "You can do this."
