Serial Saturday: Elections That Shaped America

So one of the things that I have been very impressed with on my new subscription to "The Blaze TV" is their "serial" series. They discuss different topics and the history behind them. I don't know about everyone else. But in every history class I ever took we spent ages on years 1600-1950 and then crammed 1950-1990 into one day. So much happened during that time that directly affects us today and I have no idea what went on. Additionally, no one really taught about communism vs. capitalism in depth. No one explained progressivism to me. No one was unbiased enough to just give me the fact straight on.

There is never an unbiased agenda in the news but the thing with Glenn Beck is I feel like I know his bias. He doesn't hide it so I can take anything he says with the appropriate grain of salt. But I have found these serials he has been doing to be really helpful in understanding that recent history that I never got to study in depth.

Hope you enjoy.

Today's serial goes through some of the biggest elections in how they shaped America. It helps document how progressivism has slowly taken over in both Democratic and Republican parties and defines what it's purpose is.

Universal Encouragement

One of the many "fun" administrative jobs of mine is to send out our newsletter for our ministry every month. I always begin by dreading it. By the end I get excited by all I get to share about what's going on with our team!

I wrote this as an encouragement to our volunteers, but thought some of you could use it and apply it in our daily lives. Community is being slowly replaced by technology and it is crucial to God working in our lives!

"October is such a fun month. We have cooler temperatures, pumpkins are coming out. Everyone
seems to be on board with October being super fantastic.

What is also super fantastic is the teams we are building within Redeemed in Dallas. We have some
incredible people stepping up and answering the call God has put on their hearts to serve the women
who are being exploited within our city.

With all the awesome activity, the thing that has been on my heart has been the word "sustainability."
These women are used to people coming in and out of their life, never sticking around long term for
them. The question most people ask of them is "what can I get out of you?" We are working to have
them ask the question, "What does God think about you?"

We all know the answer to that is God hold us in high value. We are his most prized creation. He
knows our thoughts. He knows our hurts. He knows our dreams. He loves us unconditionally, which is a concept that is hard for us to wrap our heads around. But once these women know God is for them and not against them, we know it can turn their whole situation around.

So the question I ask of myself and our teams is how are we going to sustain these efforts to reach
these women? When burn out comes, when we experience fear, when life seems too complicated to
continue, how are we going to continue reaching out to these women who are desperately looking for
God's love? The answer is two fold: 1) continuing our personal walk with Christ, asking for him to
stretch time and energy so that we can obey the call and 2) reaching out to those we work with for
support and help with the things Satan is throwing at us to try to stop us.

Redeemed is unique in that we are not just a non-profit that you check in and out of in order to get
service hours or experience. Rather, we are a community of believers from all over the metroplex
gathering together in Christ to reach out to those in the darkest of situations and offer them a light of
hope. On top of that, God isn't just using us to change the lives of the women we minister to, but he's
using our community and those we volunteer with to change us to become more like Christ as well.

So I encourage you to not just check in and out and add this work to the list of things you do to be a
"good Christian." Rather I encourage you to really plug in and build community with the people doing this work alongside you. I know the people that have stepped up and volunteered for a while have already changed my life. I pray that God does the same in your life."

Hope With No Shame

Recently, I've had to completely stop listening to some of the news podcasts I listen to. The message is the same.

"America is going to crap unless Americans wake up and do something about it."
"American's are stupid. So, therefore, we are all doomed."

And that's the basic "jist"
of hours of talk radio. So if you don't listen to talk radio, you aren't missing much.

The whole thing sounds very similar to a Psalm I just read:

Psalm 12:1-4

Deliver, Lord!
For the godly have disappeared; 
people of integrity have vanished. 
People lie to one another;
they flatter and deceive. 
May the Lord cut off all flattering lips,
and the tongue that boasts!
They say, “We speak persuasively; 
we know how to flatter and boast. 
Who is our master?”

In fact, we sound a ton like the Romans as Paul describes them in chapter 1:28-32

And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what should not be done. They are filled with every kind of unrighteousness, wickedness, covetousness, malice. They are rife with envy, murder, strife, deceit, hostility. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, contrivers of all sorts of evil, disobedient to parents, senseless, covenant-breakers, heartless, ruthless. Although they fully know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but also approve of those who practice them.

So then why should I have hope in the future? People that I talk to about human trafficking, abortion or any other major issue in our society don't seem to want to respond and take action against all that is going on.

Well, thankfully, Paul gives us an example of what we can do through Abraham in Romans chapter 4.

Abraham was asked to leave his home and go somewhere were he was a stranger. I identify with this because sometimes I feel like a stranger to my generation. Then God made him a promise that he was going to have a son, despite that biologically, it made no sense to him or his wife. Yet Paul says that Abraham "In hope, he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, 'So shall your offspring be.'" We see that Abraham was "fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised."

So the question for myself is, when I feel like a stranger in my own generation with a promise that God has given me, do I hope against all hope that when everything is stacked against me that God will provide all that is necessary for His promise to come true?

You see, I can come up with all the programs and ideas in the world and work really hard for them to work. Yet nothing is going to be able to happen if I do not have faith that God will work everything out in his timing. It's not going to be easy (just look at Abraham's life...not comfy!) but his faith was counted to him as righteousness. Not his works.

Paul continues, "More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

Many people might think we are foolish to look at all that is happening in our world and pin all our hopes to God. He doesn't seem to be here with all of the evil that is happening in our generation. But what people don't see is all the times we have put our faith in God in our personal lives and the times he has come through for us. Every time I try to make something happen, it fails and God brings the same result around another way. EVERY TIME.

So while we live in a season of our generation where we are lost, let's continue to have the faith that God desires us to have so that we can learn to trust in him more and more. Our hope isn't in vain. It's so that God's love for us can be manifested in a way that allows us to love him more!

Travel vs. Home

Home building things or traveling seeing the Stanley Cup? I vote both.
If you are interested in buying the Home Sweet Home sign you can here!

This summer had been a whirlwind.

We traveled so much over the last few months. It's given me a new perspective, which...since this is a blog...I'm wanting to share!

I've always been the type of girl that's wanted to go on adventures. Thankfully, growing up, my parents got the opportunity to take me all over the world. I've been to see the Midwest, the Northeast, California, the Grand Canyon, and so many other places in the U.S. I've been to Italy, Belgium, Paris, Beijing, and the list goes on internationally. I really do thank my parents for being the kind of people that value experiences with those you love rather than the acquisition of things. I feel like the experiences I got to have while traveling have taught me a ton about people and a ton about myself as well.

Thankfully, that spirit hasn't died since getting married. Some of our most special times as a couple has been traveling whether it was just us or with our families.

When I was at my last job I didn't travel as much because of the way my job schedule was. I felt a void in my life where I once got to travel a ton and now I was hardly leaving home. So when I came to my current job where I could travel with more frequency, I was excited. However, I had no idea how much travel was going to come this summer. I was gone at least once a month since May. At one point we were only home one weekend out of a five weekend stretch. At the end of the summer I didn't feel full and refreshed with a passion for life like I normally do after traveling. Instead I felt drained. Exhausted beyond just lack of sleep. All I wanted to do was to be home.

So what changed? Why have I gone from being this passionate world traveler to a homebody?

I think it all comes to rhythm.

One of the things I love about my current job is that I don't ever have a week that looks the same. I never know what God is going to put in my life from week to week. It keeps me on my toes. It makes me excited to see Him work in unexpected ways. However, I think I have come to crave some type of rhythm in the rest of my life. It's why the girl who never likes to clean seems to always get to laundry done on Mondays and why I get sad if I have to miss my run with my training group during the week. I am craving these things that remind me what day of the week it is. It's why holidays and birthdays and traditions are so important to me. They ground me and remind me where I come from and what life is all about.

While I mull over these thoughts, I can't help but conclude that I think this is a God given design. We definitely need to travel and meet people who are not like us and experience all that God has created on this Earth to the fullest extent we can in our short life spans. He teaches us valuable life lessons in this travel. However, I think God has designed in each of us the desire for a place to call home. Why do you think we have tons and tons of shows who's sole purpose is to show you who to decorate your house?

However, don't you think it's interesting that we never seem completely satisfied by either being home or traveling? We always want to take the next big trip or decorate our house some more. I think this is God designed too. We will never be satisfied until we get to our ultimate home, heaven. There, we will have the ultimate, permanent place to call home and yet tons and tons to explore all at the same time. I think it took traveling so much this summer to show me how much God must have a longing for us to come home someday so that we can explore all he has made for us.

So, while I still look forward to the trips I have for the rest of the year, I'm excited about the fact that I have a place to call home. That I can cook Taco Tuesdays in my kitchen. That I have a garage for us to build a small business. That my Vinylmation minions watch me type this blog in silent solidarity on my desk. I'm perfectly fine with balancing travel and life at home. And thankfully, someday, I will get to explore my ultimate home thanks to the perfect love that God has for us.

Fireworks

I honestly sit here inspired tonight. It's been the culmination of a million pondering moments and a million questions all converging at once.

I had the honor tonight to attend a concert in the Botanical Gardens with one of my dearest friends Ashley and her family. Honestly, when I found out I was going to get to hang out with them tonight I was so excited. I love their family and how funny, genuine and hospitable they are. It takes a special kind of people to invite me over to a dinner and cater to my gluten free needs and they did so with flying colors. Literally. Mr. Mark's shirt looked exactly like the American flag when you held up our patriotic napkins to his shirt!

But I guess I should start explaining things a little bit, first starting a few months ago when I attended a training for work. We talked about trauma and how it affects the brain. We like to talk in symbolism to get our points across, naturally. We discussed how trauma affects the brain and how the brain achieved healing. The metaphor that the speaker used was that trauma was not a linear model where we travel in a straight line and get to point B from point A. Rather, it's a spiral model where we start at the bottom. Some times we move forward and other times we move back. But regardless where we are in the spiral, we are always moving up.

This is an important thing to keep in mind when we consider all that has been happening recently.

Personally, I've been under a ton of stress. Between my work with the women I mentor and my personal life, there is a ton going on. I can't elaborate. But let's say the new essential oils I received are definitely helping along side some very long prayer times for my anxiety.

Meanwhile, I couldn't even look at Facebook for a while. I feel like a recent post I saw from Glen Beck summed it up exactly:

Personally, I believe my first citizenship is to God. I am a daughter of the King. He says homosexuality was not a part of his design. So therefore, I believe that if you are living a homosexual lifestyle, you are not living in the will of God. However, God gave us the freedom to make our own choices. That's what makes His love so spectacular; He doesn't force us to love him. So in accordance to my second citizenship to the United States of America, you have the ability to do whatever you chose to do, as long as it doesn't cause me to deviate from my freedom to follow my beliefs in God.

What I do have a problem with is how this, among other decisions, was passed down through our court system. We have a constitution which is the most unique piece of governmental procedure in the world. No one came up with something like this before America. I feel like if we are to really protect freedom to live the way we want to (whether you choose to follow God or not) that monumental document needs to be followed so that everyone has the freedom to live the life they chose.

So meanwhile, I see the hate and the divisiveness that is coming across in social media and I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart. I wonder how such a court decision could have happened. Then on top of that, how can we have become a society where if you have a differing opinion than I do, it makes you an enemy that I can never talk to again?

So this Fourth of July, I am very reflective and prayerful as I consider what we are actually celebrating this year. While I'm very disappointed in what has happened in our country recently, I still can't help think about the spiral model of healing. Sometimes we will go forward. Sometimes we will go backward. Yet we will always be going up.

As I watched the fireworks tonight above my hometown, I couldn't help but judge which fireworks I thought were the prettiest. I'm pretty consistent. Ever since I was little I've loved the ones that sparkle and have lots of twinkling lights that linger even after the initial explosion. As I watched (and maybe had to wipe the ash from my face) I thought, "What is it about those fireworks that makes the sparkle ones so exceptional?" In my reflective mood, I thought about how there are thousands of tiny pieces of the fireworks that catch the energy from the initial explosion and then ignite to create the light and the sparkle. Consequentially, that causes those fireworks to last so much longer than the other ones.

I can't help but draw a parallel from those fireworks to our society. Right now we have a ton of fireworks that draw our attention. From Obamacare to church shootings to confederate flags to homosexuality...there are so many things looking to draw our attention and create a divide amongst our country right now. But the fireworks that last and actually make a difference in our lives are the ones that see the goodness and the kindness in our society. While they may not make the front page or the top of the news, they are the stories that actually pierce our hearts and cause us to aspire to be better versions of ourselves.

So amongst all those that have expressed despair for the future of our country, I actually have hope in our America. I believe that God is bringing up a generation of people my age that have caught the initial spark of the gospel and are propelled to make a change where God has planted them. That obedience, grace and love causes them to spark and make a difference in the lives of those around them, who therefore also catch the spark. God is creating a huge firework, the kind that lingers long after the others, and spreads the good news of love and redemption.

We may be in a backwards trend of the spiral right now. Trust me, I know it's NOT pretty. But I have hope. I refuse to give in to the idea that we are beyond repair. America was built on hope and it will only fail when hope in something better is lost by the people that live here. It's a hard road to travel. These days the road seems pretty tough. But if we do not give up, we will be that shining light on a hill the Bible talks about.

We will be a huge firework signaling freedom to everyone in the world looking for it.

So my question is, what spark is God calling you to be?

New Adventures!

Jared and I have some exciting news to announce. No, it is not a baby (Courtney! Haha.) but we are embarking on a journey of faith to minister to those enslaved in human trafficking! We have been called by God to work with Redeemed Ministries full time.

Redeemed started in 2005 just simply reaching out to women who were trapped in sex trafficking and showing them the unconditional love Jesus shows us. Many times, these women come from very broken homes. 90% of girls trapped in sex trafficking have been abused sexually as children. They never learn that behavior is not normal. Pimps then exploit that past to take advantage of these girls and the cycle is brutal and often fatal. While these women are forced to serve up to 30 men in a day, they often turn to drugs to cope and/or also get beat by their pimps to make sure they obey whatever the pimp tells them to do. 

While many ministries go out to the brothels with the intent on “extracting” girls from their situation, we simply go in to offer the love of Jesus to them. Many times these girls are in denial that they are in a dangerous place and until they realize that, even if we “extracted” them from their situation, no change would take place. When they would leave our care, they would go right back to what they were doing. We believe by going in and just ministering and sharing love with them allows God seeds to be planted in their life to realize they are loved, but not by their pimps. This process of change allows them to be an active participant in their life change. Then, if they want to leave the life, we can help provide them a safe place, in the form of a safe house, to get away from their pimp AND increase their chance of not going back. Jesus is the one working on the inside to heal and change their hearts. We are simply servants to help provide the environment for that change and the voice of reasoning when the tough times come. 

That brings me to one of the most exciting parts of Redeemed, our aftercare program! We have a safe house out in the country where we can house girls for a year long program. We have partnered with Rutgers University to develop a program that specifically helps heal trauma associated with trafficking and we have seen God use that tremendously! Just in the last year we have seen two women baptized and graduated. One is even entering the missionary field and ministering to others. It’s the most amazing thing to watch God completely transform the lives of these women who were so broken and now they flourish in the love God has for us! We are working to build a new, larger safe house so that we can minister to even more women. 

I first heard about human trafficking in my car (go figure!). I was working at a winery as a part of my research project in college and the drive was an hour one way. I listened to podcasts by Christine Caine while I drove. She runs a global anti-human trafficking organization called A21 and hearing about it tugged at my heartstrings like nothing had ever done before. The thing I most identified with was the fact that the fear these women have for their pimps paralyzes them from trying to find any other alternative to their situation. This fear allows them to be abused over and over again. I have battled with similar fear in my life and sitting there in the car, I wanted to reach through my stereo to the women and tell them they didn’t have to be governed by fear anymore. However, I was in College Station, TX…not Athens, Greece. Nor did I ever see God sending me to where A21 was going. 

Fast forward to me getting married and moving to Houston. My husband and I were looking for a church. We visited one down the road one Sunday and the topic was human trafficking in Houston with the featured ministry being Redeemed. I found out that between Dallas, Austin and Houston, 25% of girls trafficked found themselves in Texas at some point. I instantly knew I was supposed to be involved. I have since volunteered with them over the last three years and have never looked back!

I’ve had the opportunity to mentor girls, work on the social media team, help market the ministry and teach others about trafficking. Honestly, it has been the biggest and most fulfilling thing in my life. I learned so much about myself and about trafficking and I was given the opportunity to bring it with me when my husband and I moved to Dallas. As I look at 2015 and really start to build the ground work for what we are doing, I am so excited for what I believe God will do in Dallas. 

One thing that has been a bittersweet point in this transition is that my position has been a volunteer position for so long. But the ministry is growing to the point where I cannot hold my current position as a Children’s Pastor and do Redeemed at the level of excellence both ministries deserve. I’m truly sad to leave the amazing community God has allowed me to be a part of. Yet, God has already been faithful by providing not only a new community, but financial funding through monthly donations.

This is where you can get involved! While I will receive a small stipend from Redeemed it is not enough to cover expenses Jared and I have, even with his job. If you heard my story and my heart for this ministry and would be willing to support me monthly, please take a few minutes to sign up and pledge to fund this ministry Jared and I will be building. This is a direct way you can help...by giving me the financial funding for me to work towards helping these women full time! It will have a huge impact for us, and for allowing us to advance the kingdom of God!

Ultimately, we see ourselves as an extension of the church; where we are bringing the gospel to some of the deepest and darkest of places and hopefully, seeing God transform the lives of those we meet. Jesus said he didn’t come for the well, but for the sick. From the women that are enslaved, to the pimps that do the enslaving and the men who buy, the people are plenty for God to reach and the gospel is so desperately needed on all fronts of this situation.

Thank you all for supporting us, whether that be through prayer or by financially supporting us. We are so grateful for all of our community. Here's to what God has in store!

New Directions

Gorgeous sunshine at the park!

Hi everyone! Last post I was pretty down. Struggling with post marathon blues and the eternal winter going on. But recently, the sun has come out! The air is warmer and as I've been getting my usual doses of Vitamin D now, my mood has warmed up considerably as well! There is nothing like the hope of spring and great weather to lift anyone's spirits!

What has also helped, is that I am also realizing where and what I am supposed to be doing next. The last two years have been marked by my steady pursuit of my first marathon. From not being able to run for more than 30 seconds, I conquered health problems and mental blocks to overcome my fear of pain from running. In the meantime, I overcame many other fears, literally anything from guns to gardening. So as I am sitting here post marathon, I don't think I'm done overcoming fears yet. However, a new idea has been forming in my head, and let's just say I have a ton of growing up to do.

Ever since I can remember, I haven't given a whole ton of thought to other people's perception of me. All I knew, was I wanted to be different from everyone else. I recognized a culture deficit going on and I didn't want to have anything to do with it. I liked doing my own thing, regardless of what people thought of me.

Now that I'm older and I have great people speaking into my life, I'm recognizing that sometimes, this desire to be different comes off different than I intend. People have said to me that sometimes I seem stand-off-ish, and until they got to know me, they thought I didn't like them. While I brushed off these comments a few years ago, they are coming back up in my head.

I've always said that I'm basically 8 years old at heart (Jared is 5 haha). I say that because I remember that age where everything seemed wonderful and enjoyable and new, and I want that spirit to be with me as an adult. But I recently heard someone say that you need to be 2/3 adult and 1/3 kid, and you have to be careful not to flip it around. So I'm realizing, that my 8 year old self that just wants to be different and satisfy my craving to explore the world is getting in the way of my authentic relationships. And while I won't get to know everyone that I meet "deeply," I never want them to look at me and say, "She doesn't like me." The old me would say, "Well, they should just stick around and find out the truth." But the newer, questioning me says, "But why would they if someone else seems so much more inviting?"

So to sum up what I've been learning, is that maturity is knowing the fine line of being aware of how people perceive you, without letting everyone's opinions determine your personality. If I look at someone and judge whether or not I want to try to be friends with them, I would be naive to think that they don't do the same to me. The truth is, I love making new friends. But the other truth is, I tend to not show that on the outside. The truth is, I want people to know Jesus. But how can they get to know that if I seem selfish or self absorbed?

So I'm going to work on maturing myself, making sure the way people perceive me matches what is actually going on inside. I have no idea how to do this yet, but thank goodness I have a ton of training miles to sort it all out!

We Get Permission to Fail!

I had the most interesting experience yesterday. We had a run scheduled (Tempo Intervals: 2000m with a 400m recovery three times in case anyone was really wondering). I laced up my kicks and grabbed my dog and my husband and I hit the pavement. But as we made it to the park, we found it incredibly crowded! Families of all sizes were out with their shiny new bikes and scooters. Puppies were being walked. Kids were playing in the trails. Soccer games were being played. It was beautiful. I didn't mind that I had to run on the grass often. I was just glad to see everyone out enjoying a beautiful day instead of watching TV on their couches.

We even saw one of my best friends Ashely! You may have heard how awesome she is in an earlier blog post. She was out running too and I was so glad to give her a big sweaty hug! We briefly talked (we're on our runs right?) and as we left, she announced, "Professional runners! Coming through!"

We laughed and I assured her, she's a professional too. But I started looking around and realizing many people out here are starting their "New Years Fitness Plan." They are going to ride their bike, run or walk x amount of days in a week and lose x amount of pounds. My beat up kicks were looking pretty worn out compared to some of the white new sneakers some people were wearing. What started whirring in my head is the question.

"If this is what people's new year resolutions are, how long will it last?"

I have felt different come this new years. I am not starting a new fitness plan, but cumulating a year and a half of training for a marathon. I'm on my third pair of sneakers and the new ones are already not new. And I didn't start this goal at the new year of 2012. I started it in August. Which makes no sense if you know about the heat in Texas in August.

But I stuck with it. So what was it that kept me working a year and a half later to get me to this point? As I mulled it over, I felt like it might help someone out there.

1. I felt that this journey was a calling from Jesus. You may think I'm crazy for saying that. But if you have read my past blog posts, you will realize that I've held this belief from the beginning. I believe that after thinking so negatively for so long, God challenged me to try. He gave me all the equipment I need...I just needed to trust him and go do it.

For once in my life I had goals. It gave me purpose and direction. That purpose and direction in my physical life overflowed into every other aspect of my life. It's a strange, supernatural phenomena. But because I listened to God in my fitness, I was able to hear him more clearly in the rest of my life. What I found is that Jesus gave us a purpose to live, no matter what area of life we are talking about. Jesus said trust Him and and love people. As I ran and wondered what I was doing, I decided to trust God and pray for people that I passed. I found that to be key to keeping me running and key to me making progress in every other goal I've made in day to day life.

2. It's ok not to be perfect. In the past I've made new years resolutions and when I fail on doing it perfectly, I give up all together. When people create art, do you think they do it perfectly from beginning to end? Of course not. That's why we have erasers for pencils and the ability to paint over things! But if an artist gave up the moment they made a mistake on their art pieces, they would never finish some of the beautiful artwork that inspires us today. In fact, some of the mistakes become inspirations to take the art to a totally higher level than they were expecting.

When I train, I don't do all my workouts! I miss some because life happens. I have found it key to forgive myself for missing a workout and getting right back on the workout wagon whenever I can to making sure I stick with my training plan and complete my goals.

What's even better, is that the Bible tells us that we have hope that God will forgive our sins. If you truly trust in Jesus, we can have full confidence that when we fail fighting sin and bad patterns in our lives (that we try to correct with new years resolutions), it will be forgiven and we can start again! The freedom to fail gives us the hope to fight against the sinful parts of our lives!

3. Christ will help us in our fight...if we ask him. I remember some of the early runs and I'm dying at the end. My legs are spent and I can't breathe. I used to repeat over and over in my head "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me."And you know, I made it through the run. Ironically, I do the same thing whether it's a three mile run or a twenty mile run. I hold the same conviction that Jesus is the source of my hope and my faith and He supernaturally helps in one way or another.

When we come across times where we can't seem to break cycles or the running gets tough or a relationship seems eternally broken, we can ask for help. If we trust God and love people and truly believe that as sons and daughters of Christ that our sins are forgiven, the supernatural will occur in our lives and we will see Christ come through in the fight.

So as you make your resolutions (and I think you should) I hope that you think about the fact that you are launching into something that hopefully, you can sustain longer than just a year. Hopefully, you can trust God to guide you and to build upon your faithfulness.

And remember, 2 Timothy says that even if we are unfaithful, God remains faithful because he cannot deny himself!

Happy New Year everyone.

Love Wins

I have had the most draining, excruciating, gut-wrenching couple of weeks. If you have ever looked at your life and wondered why it seems like it’s always one thing after another, you understand how I feel.

I was all excited to go to College Station with Jared on Monday, when I got a call from Jared’s dad that one of his uncles died unexpectedly the night before. It was an uncle Jared was close to; one he grew up with, a fellow pilot and runner in the family. With that news my week saw me very anxious about telling Jared at the right time along with coordinating schedules, hotels and flights. I was so excited to see that side of the family, but got anxious about planning, making sure I had food I could eat, and making sure we planned for every possible scenario that could happen with Jared’s schedule.

But then, our worst scenario became reality. Jared got called in straight for New York. We had to leave the family early. I had to leave Jared early, without a ton of time to actually just be with him. I had to deal with my expectations for this week being so different than reality. I had to navigate the grief I feel for my family, the stresses of my work, the demands and drama of those I volunteer with/for and the sadness of Jared being gone and NOT getting to fly.

I wrote a blog a couple of days ago. It was very angry. I wrote about how I was upset that I had been at so many funerals and not many weddings. I was trying to figure out why that was. I saved it thinking I’d post it the following morning. But when I woke up, it didn’t sit right with me to post it.

I was blaming others for what was going on in my life. I was blaming my circumstances, my jobs and my perceived lack of support system. I was blaming others and how their choices were affecting me.

But to be honest, awful stuff happens. We live in a world, soaked in sin. People’s choices affect those around them all day every day, including my actions.

But, as Jared and I work together through his work schedule, things seem to get better and better. As I talk with my parents and friends and they pray for me and my work, I get the strength to do what needs to get done. And as I stood up to exit at the end of the funeral Saturday, and looked back at the hundreds of people who had showed up because they loved Jared’s uncle, I was awed.

Jared and I love each other enough to be committed, even when we have doubts about our marriage, our career choices and our future. My friends and family love me enough to listen to me vent and pray for me through the times I need it the most. And Uncle Cliff’s love for those around him brought hundreds to celebrate his life to show that God’s love through Uncle Cliff touched more lives than we knew.

I know life gets hard for all of us. We have seasons where things seem dark and dry. We don’t feel God close to us. We feel isolated from those around us as we think, “Who could possibly understand what we are going through?” We are tempted to give up, because we wonder who cares about our seemingly wasted efforts to bring life and love into such a broken world.

But we must remember that just because we can’t feel God close doesn’t mean he’s not there. Just because things are dark doesn’t mean they will be dark forever. You are not alone! God is with you and has placed people around you to go through this season with you. Our efforts are not wasted. They are seeds to bring glory to God in the perfect moment. Hold onto that as you go through whatever you have going on right now. You are loved by the one who created love.

And I read the end of the book. Love wins!

Running Free, One Step at a Time

Hi everyone! I am joining a running team with Redeemed Ministries to help raise money for a new safehouse. Below is what I wrote for their blog today. Enjoy!

Hi everyone. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog.

It was a little under a year ago. One day, God challenged me when I had doubts about running. I was watching a TV reality show and the contestants were running a marathon. I instantly thought, "I could never do that." God said, "Really? I gave you a heart. I gave you legs and feet and lungs. What else do you need to go out and run?"

I realized that I had limited myself in what I thought I could do. Slightly angry at myself, I decided that I would train for a marathon. With no timeline in place, I started out walking, then running for a little bit. That turned into running more, which became running long and running frequently. I have amazed myself at what I am capable of and what I have probably been capable of for years. All I had to do was make a commitment to get out there when it was time to run, and believe in God that when he said, "You can a marathon," he's right. Who knows me better than the one who formed me?

When I learned about human trafficking, I was angry. I was extremely upset that this was happening on my watch. However, I had to wait for two years while God worked his perfect timing to introduce me to Redeemed. When I went to volunteer trainings, I was completely overwhelmed. It seemed like such a big culture driven problem that would take forever to overcome. How can a simple, young person like me do anything to change it?

But instead of getting overwhelmed, I helped out where I could. I saw needs and I said yes, I will help. Those small, seemingly insignificant "yes" moments have allowed me to see the hand of God work in these women's lives.

As I have sat down and really thought about how long a marathon really is, I get easily overwhelmed at the thought of it. But then I realize that just like any other run, I'm going to have to just take it one mile at at time. Just like the running, if you really sit down and look at the issue of human trafficking, it seems like a gargantuan issue. How can we change something that is so engrained in culture and help heal the trauma that these girls live with the rest of their lives?

My answer, just like running, it one small step at a time. We want to build a new safe house so that we can help more women who are coming out of these trafficking situations. We want to provide a place where they can feel safe and God can help heal the hurt and the pain that comes with what they have been through. One person can't do all of it, but if we all lean in the same direction we can really make a huge difference.

Thank you for supporting our team. Your pledge is the small bits that make a huge difference in the life of these girls! Look for more posts from our team as we run for freedom!

To make a pledge, please visit https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1gLF4zk5sR59Da6XEowhRCzvutVxNYyT0PbMvFnp_xmE/viewform!

Perspective

So I'm riding the new DART train as I write. Let me say, I don't care if it takes me twice as long to get to work. It's cheaper, I can multitask, and I get a fresh perspective on the city that I haven't seen growing up. I have always gone down the highway keeping up with the fast paced traffic and have never looked outside and seen what I'm driving by. I consider this a good thing, lest I get in an accident. But I have also missed seeing the hurting and broken people. I've been caught up on getting where I need to go and getting there as fast as possible. Taking the train forces you to slow down and watch people who get on and off. Some are happy. Some are sad. Some you can see are searching for hope. Some have given up on it. It's true when my pastor said a few weeks ago that Dallas isn't really a "churched" area. They've gotten just enough of the disease of Christ to get prevent from getting the whole thing. 

This morning, Romans 8 was my daily reading. It's one of my favorite chapters of the Bible. When you read it in context of the whole book, it's where Paul changes the game with his argument. The first half of the book talks about the law, and righteousness, about how we can't obtain it on our own. But in Chapter 8 he talks about how when Jesus came, it changed everything! Two verses jumped out at me this morning:

"For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace." (Romans 8:5, 6 ESV)

Those who set their mind on the Spirit have life AND peace! Many times in my life, I feel like life causes me to not have peace. I feel like I can't have both at the same time, that they are mutually exclusive. But this passage says that's the way of thinking where your mind is set on the flesh. If I had my mind set on the Spirit, I'd realize that my life is crazy because God is doing a work through me. THAT thought brings me peace! God designed it for us to have life to the fullest and peace to the fullest at the same time. 

And that's some new perspective for me. 

Sweet time with God

So, I'm starting to feel like a broken record. This is reinforced by the fact that I think I have said that before. So in the spirit of that, I can quote one of my favorite bands, The Newsboys, and their song "Step up to the Microphone"


I say hello
To anyone who's listening
The message ain't nothing new
I don't decide what's true
So when the stones get thrown
They either miss or
They turn to glory
Here's the story as far as i know

So. The not so news is that running isn't as hard as we make it. Some of you might gasp and say "Blasphemy!" but the honest truth is, you can do it if you put the work in. This can translate to life (of course). We may all be looking for your purpose in life. I talked a couple of blogs ago about having a vision for your life that comes from God. The thing is, how are we going to be ready for what God has for us if we never go through the preparation stage with Him? How will I ever run a marathon if I never prepare with training?

The other not so new news is that the more you are anxious on your run, the more energy you take away from running. How are you going to run even three miles if you are so anxious about your performance or if you will make it or if you can hold your pace or if you are doing better than the person who ran past you (get my drift?) if you are so anxious you are restraining your stride and not breathing? RELAX. My husband loves survival shows. The common theme on those shows with the ones that survive and tell their stories is that you MUST maintain a positive attitude to survive. You will never survive a race mentally if you think negative thoughts all the time. This absolutely will affect your race.

Plus, this is supposed to be fun right? You bet ya! I'm not the biggest fan of late night comedy, but I read recently a quote from Stephen Colbert after the Boston Marathon Bombing in Runner's World magazine. He noted that the Boston Bombers obviously hadn't considered the toughness of marathoners - "people who run 26 miles on their day off until their nipples are raw - for fun." It's so true! But how are you supposed to enjoy your race like you were meant to if you are constantly dogging and doubting yourself the entire four or five hours? Marathoners have to learn the power of positive thinking in order to get through. This is shown in everything else they do. I am of course, not happy that the bombings happened. But I am happy to see a community that looks at the events and thinks about others rather than themselves. It is so easy to think negatively after a traumatic event but as a whole, the community has come together to think positively, and keep running.

Lastly, I wrote last week about how I was struggling for a vision in my running and how I was looking to God to give it to me. My dear friend Ginger called me yesterday. She is amazing people. I have come to love her very much and she has become somewhat of a mentor to me. She has a couple of marathons under her belt and gave me some of the best perspective today. She said that running can be just a sweet time with God if you allow it to be. Oh how she was right! I strategically placed worship songs on my running playlist today and it honestly gave my run the boost it needed. It was just me and God and the birds in the trees jamming out together. It's honestly hard to be anxious about anything when you know that no matter where you go, God is with you. No matter where we go, Emmanuel.

“Look! The virgin will conceive and bear a son, and they will call him Emmanuel,”  which means “God with us.

~ Matthew 1:23

Life it What You Make It

Hi everyone. I'm sorry it's been a few days but I've thankfully been busy learning about psychology (go figure) for trauma and then I made a super quick, morale boosting trip to Dallas. It was perfect. I got to spend some quality time with my brother, mom and of course, Jared and it really gave me the spark I needed to keep going this week with a ton of motivation!

Which brings me to my title of this blog, "Life is What You Make It." Hopefully you know me well enough by now to know that this has nothing to do with us being in control of our life. God is the one who places our footsteps down the right path and shows us where to go. He knows best. But what we can choose is to go willingly, or fight him every step of the way. I look back on my time since high school and how I made choices based on prayer and faith and God has worked miracles in my life. They say hindsight is 20/20 and my hindsight shows me that God is in control and He has better plans that I could have ever dreamed of. We can either enjoy the journey and lean on him, or we can moan and complain and fight with him the whole way. Whichever way it works out, we will eventually know that He is God.

"Outside The Lines" by Hawk Nelson

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh,
oh oh oh, oh oh oh
I had two left feet and dreams to spare,
And I knew I talked too much.
But my dad said, "You'll go anywhere,
If you just tell the truth with a song."
Well, I wasn't sure how this could turn out right, oh
But he looked straight into my eyes and said,
"Don't worry, you'll do just fine.
Our God is working all of the time.
And when the sun comes up,
You'll see He paints outside the lines.
He paints outside the lines."
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
I guess somehow, somewhere, I grew up,
But I'm still that kid at heart.
Oh, my girl laughs when I'm serious
Don't got much money, but baby, we've got trust
I'm not alway sure if this will turn out right, oh
But she looks straight into my eyes and says,
"Don't worry, we'll be just fine.
Our God is working all of the time.
And when the sun comes up,
You'll see He paints outside the lines.
He paints outside the lines."
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
Someday, we'll walk our kids down to the street, oh
We'll send them off with all our hopes and dreams, oh
When they're not sure how this could turn out right, oh
I'll look straight into their eyes and say,
"Don't worry, you'll do just fine.
Our God is working all of the time.
And when the sun comes up,
You'll see He paints outside the lines.
He paints outside the lines."
I'll say, "Don't worry, we'll be just fine.
Our God is working all of the time.
And when the sun comes up,
we'll see He paints outside the lines.
He paints outside the lines."
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh,
oh oh oh, oh oh oh

I'm Struggling

Hi. My name is Madelyn and I'm struggling.

I know most of you are there probably are too. I deal with a ton of stuff at different times but here's what I've got going on now.

Jared is at training. I am super excited for him. I've watched him work for five years to get to this point in his life where he can finally put on a uniform and fly the planes I have seen him watch with longing as they fly over head. He has a ton of work ahead of him, but I have the confidence that he will do great.

Me on the other hand, am still stuck back home. Alone. I need to finish out a few things before we move. Problem is, until tomorrow, I haven't had anything planned. So I was put in a situation where I basically sit at home finishing a few projects and errands around the house before I go back and go to work.

Thursday was great. I had a ton of errands to run and things planned to do. I was motivated and kept myself busy and was able to be productive. Friday was a struggle but I managed to clean the apartment and get some packing done. Today, it's becoming unbearable. I have very little motivation to do anything and I am on the verge of crying for no reason while sitting in front of the TV.

Now don't get me wrong. I didn't just sit on my bottom all morning. I went and ran for two hours. I covered nine miles. It was tough. However, it was the mental strain more than the physical one that is really setting me back. I actually think it is running that is putting me into such a funk. It's such a flip flop from the usual endorphin kick I get from running.

Thursdays are usually a great running day for me. I have PR'ed my 5K for two weeks in a row on Thursdays. Last Thursday however, I walked a ton more because I realized I was lonely. Running started as a thing I was doing for myself. It turned into a journey I was taking along with my husband. Running on his favorite trail alone really crushed my spirit. It's taking a lot for me to admit that.

So today. I first of all, woke up early, which is a miracle for me. Secondly, I made it to the park and started. Miracle number two. I acknowledge that I did something amazing. I went further than I had ever run before and I ran longer than I had ever run before. Yet I am still disappointed in myself because I allowed myself to walk almost the entire 8th mile. I almost never walk when I train. I realized that when I feel tired or want to walk, I keep going because I feel like I'm chasing Jared. He is so much faster and stronger than me when it comes to running and I don't want to let him get too far ahead of me. Call me competitive but running is something we do together and it has brought us closer together. He inspires me to keep going when my body tells me, "quit." Today I didn't have that and when I felt tired or fatigued I didn't push myself. I feel like I let myself down because I know I'm capable of much more.

Parallel that to life and I feel like I'm letting myself down today because I spent two hours in front of the TV being absolutely unproductive. I have no motivation to do anything. Being alone and having nothing to work towards has really got me depressed. All I really do is want to sleep.

But you know what? If I allowed myself to just sit here and cry and mope, would I get any better? Heck no. Before Jared left he made me a blanket. Yes ladies and gentlemen. He learned how to use a sewing machine and made me the most simple yet amazing blanket to snuggle with when he is gone. And I thank the Lord for this because he gave me some of my own medicine for times just like this. He wrote verses on it for me that he knows are my favorite. One happens to be the verse that got me really on track with God in the first place back in my sophomore year of college.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind."
~ 2 Timothy 1:7

I've struggled with fear a ton, but right now I feel like I'm struggling with the sound mind part! I have this self destructive pattern of depression when I spend too much time by myself. I allow things to just get dirty and cluttered around me, I don't eat right, I spend way too much time watching TV and I never actually make a difference for the kingdom of God. What I am lacking, is a vision.

When people talk about visions, in my living sphere, they are talking about a vision of a church, or a ministry. But honestly, our lives themselves are a ministry and we need to have a vision for our lives too. People might confuse visions with goals, but visions are more than a goal. A vision never changes in the course of your life. Goals are written and achieved but a vision is an overarching reason to why we do what we do no matter what part of your life you are talking about. Jared and I have a vision for our marriage. We wrote it on our first wedding anniversary.

"To love God, love one another, and lead by example, showing Christ's love to those around us, in words, actions and character, so that others may find Him in us and through us."

I read that and it gives me so much peace to know that God gave me a man that leads me with that vision in mind! But before you go, "I could never come up with something like that to write" as much as I love our vision, it's really not that original. You can have a vision too. Let me explain.

The idea of having a personal vision is something I've heard as a theme in the teachings that I have been listening and reading for the past week now. I've heard people talk about Proverbs 29:18a, "When there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint," and when I think about the Old Testament, this is true! The Israeli nation would remember God's word and hold to it and things would be great. Then when they turned away they fell into captivity. But when Jesus came He came to fulfill the law, not condemn us by it. He came so that we would be able to have a relationship with Him and because of our relationship, we could understand and practice the foundational teachings the law gives us and therefore, live a life the way God designed it. What I think people don't realize is that Jesus gave us a vision to us when we left the Earth. A vision that we can personally apply to our lives that will never change no matter what stage in life you are living.

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And remember,  I am with you  always, to the end of the age.”

~ Matthew 28:19-20 

And now many of you are going, "Maddie, really? The great commission? Isn't that a little old fashioned, VBS, kumbayah around the church campfire idealistic? How can we all travel to the ends of the earth being missionaries who don't make any money and expect to reach everyone?" And I'd say, yea. Sure. You are right in one sense, but wrong in another. However, if we think about it correctly, I think it can be very powerful.

I don't care if you travel all the way to Africa from Odessa, TX or never leave your condo in Miami. We are placed in a city, in a job, in a group of friends, in a gym class, in a bar, in wherever to show the love of Christ to those whom God is seeking (read: EVERYONE). Honestly, I think it's harder to witness in a corporate meeting in America than it is to go on a mission trip. Just saying. 

I started this blog to be an example of how God challenged me to see that I am more capable that I think I am. That I can handle all He has called me to be. I don't need to worry about the how. I don't need to go travel all over the world (although I want to haha). I just need to be obedient and faithful and have my vision at the forefront of my mind at all times. When I run past some bikers, or fellow runners or just someone having a picnic, I can say "Good morning!" If this is true and my God is who I say He is, that simple gesture can have a big impact! Even if I'm struggling now, I can always hold on to the hope and the love that my Savior has for me and show that to the world. And see? Now that I'm writing about it I'm already feeling better!

To end. As I've grown older one of my favorite passages in the Bible has been from Isaiah 40. It is the root of my inspiration to run and my vision for my life. I serve an awesome God and I hope that as I continue to run through the difficult times, you can see how much I love Him because of how much He loves us. 

The Lord Returns to Jerusalem

40:1 “Comfort, comfort my people,”

says your¹ God.

40:2 “Speak kindly to² Jerusalem,³ and tell her

that her time of warfare is over,⁴

that her punishment is completed.⁵

For the Lord has made her pay double⁶ for all her sins.”

40:3 A voice cries out,

“In the wilderness clear a way for the Lord;

construct in the desert a road for our God.

40:4 Every valley must be elevated,

and every mountain and hill leveled.

The rough terrain will become a level plain,

the rugged landscape a wide valley.

40:5 The splendor⁷ of the Lord will be revealed,

and all people⁸ will see it at the same time.

For⁹ the Lord has decreed it.”¹⁰

40:6 A voice says, “Cry out!”

Another asks,¹¹ “What should I cry out?”

The first voice responds:¹² “All people are like grass,¹³

and all their promises¹⁴ are like the flowers in the field.

40:7 The grass dries up,

the flowers wither,

when the wind sent by the Lord¹⁵ blows on them.

Surely humanity¹⁶ is like grass.

40:8 The grass dries up,

the flowers wither,

but the decree of our God is forever reliable.”¹⁷

40:9 Go up on a high mountain, O herald Zion!

Shout out loudly, O herald Jerusalem!¹⁸

Shout, don’t be afraid!

Say to the towns of Judah,

“Here is your God!”

40:10 Look, the sovereign Lord comes as a victorious warrior;¹⁹

his military power establishes his rule.²⁰

Look, his reward is with him;

his prize goes before him.²¹

40:11 Like a shepherd he tends his flock;

he gathers up the lambs with his arm;

he carries them close to his heart;²²

he leads the ewes along.

The Lord is Incomparable

40:12 Who has measured out the waters²³ in the hollow of his hand,

or carefully²⁴ measured the sky,²⁵

or carefully weighed²⁶ the soil of the earth,

or weighed the mountains in a balance,

or the hills on scales?²⁷

40:13 Who comprehends²⁸ the mind²⁹ of the Lord,

or gives him instruction as his counselor?³⁰

40:14 From whom does he receive directions?³¹

Who³² teaches him the correct way to do things,³³

or imparts knowledge to him,

or instructs him in skillful design?³⁴

40:15 Look, the nations are like a drop in a bucket;

they are regarded as dust on the scales.

He lifts³⁵ the coastlands³⁶ as if they were dust.

40:16 Not even Lebanon could supply enough firewood for a sacrifice;³⁷

its wild animals would not provide enough burnt offerings.³⁸

40:17 All the nations are insignificant before him;

they are regarded as absolutely nothing.³⁹

40:18 To whom can you compare God?

To what image can you liken him?

40:19 A craftsman casts⁴⁰ an idol;

a metalsmith overlays it with gold

and forges silver chains for it.

40:20 To make a contribution one selects wood that will not rot;⁴¹

he then seeks a skilled craftsman

to make⁴² an idol that will not fall over.

40:21 Do you not know?

Do you not hear?

Has it not been told to you since the very beginning?

Have you not understood from the time the earth’s foundations were made?

40:22 He is the one who sits on the earth’s horizon;⁴³

its inhabitants are like grasshoppers before him.⁴⁴

He is the one who stretches out the sky like a thin curtain,⁴⁵

and spreads it out⁴⁶ like a pitched tent.⁴⁷

40:23 He is the one who reduces rulers to nothing;

he makes the earth’s leaders insignificant.

40:24 Indeed, they are barely planted;

yes, they are barely sown;

yes, they barely take root in the earth,

and then he blows on them, causing them to dry up,

and the wind carries them away like straw.

40:25 “To whom can you compare me? Whom do I resemble?”

says the Holy One.⁴⁸

40:26 Look up at the sky!⁴⁹

Who created all these heavenly lights?⁵⁰

He is the one who leads out their ranks;⁵¹

he calls them all by name.

Because of his absolute power and awesome strength,

not one of them is missing.

40:27 Why do you say, Jacob,

Why do you say, Israel,

“The Lord is not aware of what is happening to me,⁵²

My God is not concerned with my vindication”?⁵³

40:28 Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is an eternal God,

the creator of the whole earth.⁵⁴

He does not get tired or weary;

there is no limit to his wisdom.⁵⁵

40:29 He gives strength to those who are tired;

to the ones who lack power, he gives renewed energy.

40:30 Even youths get tired and weary;

even strong young men clumsily stumble.⁵⁶

40:31 But those who wait for the Lord’s help⁵⁷ find renewed strength;

they rise up as if they had eagles’ wings,⁵⁸

they run without growing weary,

they walk without getting tired.

Musings

Hello everyone. Happy Monday (and yes, that is a legitimate thing to say. You CAN be happy on a Monday)!

I am lacking in any one big thing to share so I instead, am going to expound on a couple of small things I've had rolling around in my head. I hope they help you. :)

1. Life is always going to be crazy. What changes is the type of crazy and how much. What we can do however, is learn to keep it at a minimum or embrace it for it's fullest potential. Take Bilbo Baggins for example. He was offered a choice to sit on his behind in Bag End or to go on a journey. No matter what choice he made, we find out what kind of hobbit he was. But with the latter, we get an inspiring story of perseverance, loyalty and courage that has inspired generations. Imagine the Hobbit if he would have stayed. We would have had a short book and none of the Lord of the Rings.

2. Stop picking at scabs. We go through life and because of the chaos, we get hurt. We get some scabs. For example, I got scratched by a cat at my in law's house and I have a small cut on my arm now. It's been there for a week and now starts to itch. However, if I keep picking at it like I have, it will take even longer to heal much less bleed all over the place. If I do that with my mental or spiritual scars, I keep picking at them, bringing up the raw feelings again by thinking about them a lot, they will take longer to heal and will leave a more lasting scar.

3. What you put in is what you get out. What I eat is going to directly affect my performance while running. What I think about is like food and is going to directly affect my actions. When I feel something, I need to stop and think, "Why am I feeling this." Then pray. Then meditate on God's answer. The most important step is action. Why would I learn something from God and then not put it into action?

4. Don't undervalue hard work. Many people in my generation try to find the easy way to things. What they don't realize is that you often never get to the best things in life by trying to find short cuts. Some of the best places to see in the world require hours spent uncomfortably traveling. Fitness is never achieved through sitting on a couch. Without the hard work, you will never appreciate the end result or learn what you learn along the journey.

5. Don't wait for tomorrow. I just finished teaching my 5th graders who are about to become 6th graders. I had them write down their dreams and aspirations for their lives. Thing is, when you look at what they wrote down (learning a new language, helping people, learning how to take care of animals, becoming a better student, athlete, etc) I was showing them that they don't have to wait until they are "older" to do any of these. God gave them life now and they can make a difference now, no matter their age. Same goes with us. We shouldn't wait for the "opportune moments." It will never come and you will have wasted all that time that you were given.

Then I was looking through my Pinterest and I was reminded about some things that I really loved.

I think this is so true in my marriage. I hope I show Jared that I love him every day.



This is me with my friends. :)


Stop trying to be someone else. God made you, you. No one else! You never know who wants to be you!


Yes!

Our God is amazing. I hope to do this someday! Like...Alaska!

Last day booster...read Romans 5. It's my favorite!

God gave you today so let's make it amazing!

The Journey or the Destination

Hi everyone! I hope you are doing great!

So yesterday was my long run. I completed SEVEN miles. Never in my life did I think I could do that. I remember seeing an Instagram from Christine Caine talking about how nothing clears her head more than a seven mile run. It was like, no big deal, I just ran seven miles ON A TREADMILL. Just a day in the neighborhood. I was floored and thought, "Yea that would clear my head...because I would be too dead to think."

So I employed every mental trick I had up my sleeve yesterday. I knew I had run six miles and I wasn't THAT tired at the end, so I shouldn't be that dead at the end of seven. It didn't help to think about the fact that I had enough time to run to listen to three podcasts. Add that it was going to be too far for our dog to go and that we could actually park the car at the park, run back to the apartment and let her stay and run back to the car with pavement to spare. 

We ended up spending an hour and a half to run. Nothing for an hour and a half but the sound of feet pounding the ground, cars if we got to the street, and birds if we get to the trails.

What I found is that I severely doubted my ability and I went REALLY slow. Yes, my legs hurt. But my loving husband pointed out that I could have pushed myself a little harder and then gotten that much more out of my run physically and psychologically. I also found that I could either think about two things. 

1) I could think about what was going on now. I could listen to my podcast and learn and enjoy the trail I was running on. 

2) I could think about how far I had to go and feel the panic start inside of me. 

If we think about life, we are on a long road. Personally, if I look at my life right now, I've got a ton of things going on. We are moving to Dallas. I've got to train and transition my team at my current position. I've got to meet and transition into my new team in Dallas. I have to find an apartment, a second job. Jared's going to be gone at training leaving me by myself for a good portion of this change. I feel like my biggest obstacle is to go through my apartment and clean and pack everything up! But with this current change in life, I could think about it two ways.

1) I could think about what's going on now. I can listen to what's going on around me and help those who are transitioning due to my transition. I can still teach and love and learn. I can enjoy the time I have. 

2) I could think of all the stuff I have to do and the things to come and the uncertainty and feel the panic start to creep up. 

See the parallel?

No matter what's going on in your life, you have the opportunity to enjoy any circumstance you find yourself in. In running, circumstances change. Pains come and go, environments change, you get faster and slower. In life, circumstances always change. You can get frustrated about the pain, or you can stay obedient to the race you are living and put one foot in front of another towards the call that Christ has placed upon you. God has orchestrated so much already in my transition and I know He will continue to take care of everything else in the meantime of my change. 

So I'm making a choice to not just survive through the crazy times. I'm going to flourish by enjoying the time I'm in right now and working step by step to be the best God has called me to in the future.