Bringing Hope to Those in Pain

In my line of work, I deal with people (mainly women) who have reached the end of their rope. They have experienced such pain and drama that they are filled with shame and grief over what has happened in their past. What we try to do is help them see what God wants to offer them...hope and love. But, that is a much more difficult task than you would think.

Take this clip from when I first got to hold my brother after he was born...


All my little 3-year-old brain knew was that I was holding a baby boy. Who knew it had a name! I had no context that this baby boy would grow up, have his own spunky personality, be my comrade-in-arms on our childhood adventures or become one of my best friends. My brain had no context of what a baby brother meant because it had never experienced having a baby brother before.

We see this phenomena with women who have never experienced hope before. They don't know what it looks like because in many cases, they have rarely experienced it. If they have, it was a long time ago in an era of their life long forgotten.

Most women have experienced pain for so long they lash out pain to those around them. You might have heard the expression, "People in pain hurt others." I know I have seen that in my own experience. Then the people that are trying to help them and bring them hope end up walking out on them because they do not want to be hurt any more.

Another metaphor: When I was training to become a life guard, we had to learn how to deal with people who were thrashing around in the water. Many times, it was human nature to grab on to anything or anyone else around them and push them under the water in an effort of self preservation. While we were trying to save them, they were trying to drown us. This is what happens when working with human trafficking victims as well.

So how do we bring hope to people that have no context of it and lash out at those trying to bring it to them?

With patience.

We have to be so patient with people in pain. We have to understand what they are processing through. Allow them to work through the anger and pain and guilt and shame and everything Satan is throwing at them from their past. We have to have Teflon emotions where we do not take their actions or words against us personally. We have to love them even when they don't seem to value themselves.  This includes showing "tough love" as well, by not empowering them to continue self destructive habits. By doing this it allows God to plant the seeds necessary in their lives to grow and one day, become hope. And not just any hope, but hope in the one person that can bring it genuinely 100% of the time.

You may not deal with trafficking victims every day. But you do have family members, friends, co-workers who are hurting in different ways. Be patient with them. Love on them. And show them that they can have hope in their situations too.

"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if someone happens to have a complaint against anyone else. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also forgive others."

~ Colossians 3:12-13

Follow up...PTSD and Essential Oils

A little while ago I shared how I have been dealing with my PTSD and how I've grown through struggling with it. What I would like to share is how I have found a great way to help manage those days where it seems super overwhelming. 

In case you didn't get to read the blog where I talked about what struggles I have due to PTSD, here's a recap:

1) I deal with depression.

2) I have nightmares at night more often than I'd like. 

3) A recent development, I have panic attacks occasionally. 

Combine all these together and it makes some days seem insurmountable and demotivates me from getting off the couch in front of Dr. Who on Netflix. Thankfully, I have the mental strength to not stay there but...as promised!...I have found something that really helps me deal with these issues. It's essential oils!

Now, when I say that, most people switch off because they think I'm just trying to advertise and build a buisness. Well, the small little lawyer in me (albeit, she's very, very small) wants you to know I don't share this just to advertise essential oils. Yes, I am a rep and very happy about it. But I'm already building a small business with my husband (LoveLifeDesignCo on Etsy...go check it out!) and I don't need to start another one right now. But I'm sharing this because it really has worked for me. Since I got a ton of response from the last post on PTSD, I really wanted to share a solution that I feel could help a ton of people. 

I'm also not advocating essential oils as cures or substitutes for counselors or doctors.  

Now that we got motives and legal-eze out of the way...essential oils have really helped me and here's what works...

Valor II: This is my #1 go to oil when dealing with PTSD. I put it on my wrists and on the back of my neck and the smell alone helps me start feeling normal again. It's a great blend of several things including Idaho Blue Spruce, Ylang Ylang, Frankensence and German Chamomile. When I diffuse it at night with Cedarwood and Lavender it helps me fall asleep faster and more often than not, I don't have nightmares. On weeks where I'm having consecutive bad nights of sleep, I put it on the bottom of my feet and it does helps me sleep really well.

Cedarwood: Many times I sit in bed struggling to fall asleep. Diffusing this helps me fall asleep and sleep without nightmares. 

Lavender: We joke at our house that this is a cure all oil, but diffusing this or applying it topically helps me calm down when I get tense or fearful. It's much cheaper than Valor so I use it on days where I'm not full blown crazy. 😉

Orange and Frankensense: I love to diffuse a couple drops each of these oils when I'm working during the day. It helps me feel happy and excited about work and I find when I'm already diffusing this, it helps stave off any negative emotions or tension and then I don't have to go to any of the other oils. Days where I don't have to deal with PTSD are the best!

So, like I mentioned, I am a rep and if you wanted a blend like Valor II you would have to buy it through a rep. But for the rest of them, you can find essential oils at your local health store. They aren't as pure so they aren't as strong and you have to use more to get the same effect. So make sure you do your cost analysis there. 

I hope this helps many of you who are dealing with PTSD. On top of everything else in life it's a huge burden to deal with on some days. I hope you can find some relief in oils like I have!

Hope With No Shame

Recently, I've had to completely stop listening to some of the news podcasts I listen to. The message is the same.

"America is going to crap unless Americans wake up and do something about it."
"American's are stupid. So, therefore, we are all doomed."

And that's the basic "jist"
of hours of talk radio. So if you don't listen to talk radio, you aren't missing much.

The whole thing sounds very similar to a Psalm I just read:

Psalm 12:1-4

Deliver, Lord!
For the godly have disappeared; 
people of integrity have vanished. 
People lie to one another;
they flatter and deceive. 
May the Lord cut off all flattering lips,
and the tongue that boasts!
They say, “We speak persuasively; 
we know how to flatter and boast. 
Who is our master?”

In fact, we sound a ton like the Romans as Paul describes them in chapter 1:28-32

And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what should not be done. They are filled with every kind of unrighteousness, wickedness, covetousness, malice. They are rife with envy, murder, strife, deceit, hostility. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, contrivers of all sorts of evil, disobedient to parents, senseless, covenant-breakers, heartless, ruthless. Although they fully know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but also approve of those who practice them.

So then why should I have hope in the future? People that I talk to about human trafficking, abortion or any other major issue in our society don't seem to want to respond and take action against all that is going on.

Well, thankfully, Paul gives us an example of what we can do through Abraham in Romans chapter 4.

Abraham was asked to leave his home and go somewhere were he was a stranger. I identify with this because sometimes I feel like a stranger to my generation. Then God made him a promise that he was going to have a son, despite that biologically, it made no sense to him or his wife. Yet Paul says that Abraham "In hope, he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, 'So shall your offspring be.'" We see that Abraham was "fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised."

So the question for myself is, when I feel like a stranger in my own generation with a promise that God has given me, do I hope against all hope that when everything is stacked against me that God will provide all that is necessary for His promise to come true?

You see, I can come up with all the programs and ideas in the world and work really hard for them to work. Yet nothing is going to be able to happen if I do not have faith that God will work everything out in his timing. It's not going to be easy (just look at Abraham's life...not comfy!) but his faith was counted to him as righteousness. Not his works.

Paul continues, "More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

Many people might think we are foolish to look at all that is happening in our world and pin all our hopes to God. He doesn't seem to be here with all of the evil that is happening in our generation. But what people don't see is all the times we have put our faith in God in our personal lives and the times he has come through for us. Every time I try to make something happen, it fails and God brings the same result around another way. EVERY TIME.

So while we live in a season of our generation where we are lost, let's continue to have the faith that God desires us to have so that we can learn to trust in him more and more. Our hope isn't in vain. It's so that God's love for us can be manifested in a way that allows us to love him more!

Geocaching Road Trip to Kansas!

One of the reasons this summer was crazy was because Jared and I attended one graduation and four weddings in the span of three months. And most of them were across the country. So cue on of the biggest items on the list...a road trip to Colby, Kansas.

Now this wouldn't have been a big deal except for the fact that the longest road trip I had ever been on was from Dallas to San Antonio. So the twelve hour trek for us was certainly going to put my patience to the test.

Are we there yet?

Of course, we made the trip fun and geocached the whole way up and the whole way down, visiting some of the places we have wanted to visit for a while now. First stop, OKC!

This was a virtual geocache at the Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial.

It was so beautiful and quiet in the middle of the city.
Finally checked this off the bucket list.

The next logical stop for us was in Wichita, KS. We stopped for food and checked out some of the downtown area. It was very quiet and deserted for some reason. Almost felt like a ghost town except for the random statues of people and animals all around the plazas. We found some awesome and unique historical landmarks while finding our caches.

Travel pooch was not excited about meeting another "dog."
She said he was such a poser!

 Finally, we were able to get to our destination...Colby, KS! It was a cool morning as we did our long run and we checked out downtown Colby and it's unique buildings and monuments.

I guest that means there's liberty here right?

One of the "Oh My Goodness!" moments that happened while we were planning this trip was the fact that I had been listening to Podcacher right before this trip and they mentioned MINGO, the oldest surviving cache in the world. As I was planning our trip, lo and behold I found out MINGO was just outside the city we were visiting!

Cue fanfare!

So cool to be able to check this one off the geocaching list and add it to our favorites!

On the way back, we visited a few other notable caches.

Found this one at an old F14 off the highway.

Earthcache at a rest stop.

Final Earthcache in Oklahoma.

Somewhere over that hill is Texas!

While I definitely had the patience of a two year old on this trip while traveling in the car, it was so interesting to travel across the country like this. I pretty much always fly anywhere (hello...pilot's wife) and so getting to see the places I fly over from the ground was eye opening. Our country is BIG and filled with so many cool people.

Also, the cool thing I got to learn how to use was the geocaching road trip planner. It's a part of the premium membership, but this one tool alone was worth the cost of the yearly membership. We were able to search along the route we were going to take and sort based on location and favorite points. We found so many cool caches and were able to visit some amazing places we would never have known about otherwise. And that, is why we love caching so much in the first place.

We had a great trip, but I am so glad to be back in the best state in the Union...Texas!

Update on Love Life Design Co

So I am going to take a little time to brag on my amazingly brilliant husband. People have asked me if I knew he could do what he does before we got married and my honest answer was, "no." He built a bed with his dad for college once. He's pretty good at engineering things for sure. But in no way did I know he had the talent to channel his creativity into power tools and create new life out of old wood.

In case you don't know, he has started his own little business called Love Life Design Co. I give the man a garage and some power tools and a new creature was born! He has been making the most stunning Texas' over the past few months and I am amazed every single time with what he can make!

One of his first designs, which has inspired so many others.

He stained the wood on this one to look like the state flag colors

Love the little heart on this one.

 And of course, everything is bigger in Texas. Jared was commissioned to make a 5 ft tall Texas. It was as big as me!

It was huge!!!

But it didn't take long for us to start branching out to other states as family members saw what he was doing!

Our first "other" state, Tennessee! 

Of course, in our family, we tend to challenge one another. Thankfully, Jared helped me make some of my designs come to life!

A super cute medal hanger with some bling!

Custom quote sign

And I couldn't resist the Disney flair!

Made this for our guest room!

Never thought I would start a small business. But I am super excited about it and love what we have been able to create so far! If you are interested in our shop, you can check it out at https://www.etsy.com/shop/LoveLifeDesignCo

Benchmarks

It has been HOT this summer.

I'm sure you are thinking, "Thanks Captain Obvious. This is Texas."

Well, it's a statement I feel I need to make sure is on the page so that we all have the same starting place!

Because it has been so hot, running has been such a beat down. I feel like all I do is  run slow and drown in my sweat. Especially when I have track days with the training group. The track gets so hot some of the tar literally melts and attaches itself to the bottom of my shoes. Instead of feeling fast, I feel like I'm dragging a bunch of 20 pound dumbbells behind me.

Each of us in our training has splits we are supposed to try to hit while doing our track run. I've been hitting mine even though the heat has been oppressive. So one day when I wasn't going to be able to join my training group and had to do my track session on the treadmill at home, I had to do some math to figure out what settings I was supposed to use on the treadmill to achieve the same speed I do on the track.

I had to redo my math three times because I thought I kept getting it wrong.

I used to run my speed workout according to my McMillin calculator splits it gave me back in February. That translated to my treadmill by running my interval pace at a 6.0 MPH on the treadmill. Now, my math was telling me I can now do my treadmill pace at a 6.5 MPH.

So while I did my math three times using three different methods to get there, I finally concluded that it would be the correct speed. And sure enough, I was able to do it. The last interval was painful, but that's the same as every track workout!

A similar thing happened in my personal life. I've always felt I wasn't good at remembering Bible verses to help other people when they needed them. I've really dedicated myself this year to reading out of my physical Bible and not my electronic one so that I can highlight and comment to myself in the margins. I was hoping that by doing this, I would remember where in the Bible certain stories and verses that meant a ton to me were located. Sure enough, a situation at work called for me to share some encouraging verses to a woman who needed them. Without hesitation, I was able to recall several verses that ended up helping her calm down. I did a little, "hmmm" to myself afterwards. It was the first time I had been able to do that instantaneously.

What's the point to all this? Oftentimes in our Christian walk, we feel like we aren't making any progress. We keep dealing with the same emotions, the same habits, the same struggles and don't feel like we are getting anywhere. However, it's important for us to have "benchmarks" in our lives to see how we have progressed. We need to have an "old self" to compare to in order to see how God is working in our lives.

So as you go throughout your week or month, take stock of things that you do. Whether you are running faster, lifting stronger, being more intentional with relationships or your walk with God, see what you are doing better or what needs improvement. While we have faith that God will change us, it's nice to be able to see measurable progress. It allows us to be able to go back and say, "Wow God!" and ultimately, give him the glory he deserves!

Travel vs. Home

Home building things or traveling seeing the Stanley Cup? I vote both.
If you are interested in buying the Home Sweet Home sign you can here!

This summer had been a whirlwind.

We traveled so much over the last few months. It's given me a new perspective, which...since this is a blog...I'm wanting to share!

I've always been the type of girl that's wanted to go on adventures. Thankfully, growing up, my parents got the opportunity to take me all over the world. I've been to see the Midwest, the Northeast, California, the Grand Canyon, and so many other places in the U.S. I've been to Italy, Belgium, Paris, Beijing, and the list goes on internationally. I really do thank my parents for being the kind of people that value experiences with those you love rather than the acquisition of things. I feel like the experiences I got to have while traveling have taught me a ton about people and a ton about myself as well.

Thankfully, that spirit hasn't died since getting married. Some of our most special times as a couple has been traveling whether it was just us or with our families.

When I was at my last job I didn't travel as much because of the way my job schedule was. I felt a void in my life where I once got to travel a ton and now I was hardly leaving home. So when I came to my current job where I could travel with more frequency, I was excited. However, I had no idea how much travel was going to come this summer. I was gone at least once a month since May. At one point we were only home one weekend out of a five weekend stretch. At the end of the summer I didn't feel full and refreshed with a passion for life like I normally do after traveling. Instead I felt drained. Exhausted beyond just lack of sleep. All I wanted to do was to be home.

So what changed? Why have I gone from being this passionate world traveler to a homebody?

I think it all comes to rhythm.

One of the things I love about my current job is that I don't ever have a week that looks the same. I never know what God is going to put in my life from week to week. It keeps me on my toes. It makes me excited to see Him work in unexpected ways. However, I think I have come to crave some type of rhythm in the rest of my life. It's why the girl who never likes to clean seems to always get to laundry done on Mondays and why I get sad if I have to miss my run with my training group during the week. I am craving these things that remind me what day of the week it is. It's why holidays and birthdays and traditions are so important to me. They ground me and remind me where I come from and what life is all about.

While I mull over these thoughts, I can't help but conclude that I think this is a God given design. We definitely need to travel and meet people who are not like us and experience all that God has created on this Earth to the fullest extent we can in our short life spans. He teaches us valuable life lessons in this travel. However, I think God has designed in each of us the desire for a place to call home. Why do you think we have tons and tons of shows who's sole purpose is to show you who to decorate your house?

However, don't you think it's interesting that we never seem completely satisfied by either being home or traveling? We always want to take the next big trip or decorate our house some more. I think this is God designed too. We will never be satisfied until we get to our ultimate home, heaven. There, we will have the ultimate, permanent place to call home and yet tons and tons to explore all at the same time. I think it took traveling so much this summer to show me how much God must have a longing for us to come home someday so that we can explore all he has made for us.

So, while I still look forward to the trips I have for the rest of the year, I'm excited about the fact that I have a place to call home. That I can cook Taco Tuesdays in my kitchen. That I have a garage for us to build a small business. That my Vinylmation minions watch me type this blog in silent solidarity on my desk. I'm perfectly fine with balancing travel and life at home. And thankfully, someday, I will get to explore my ultimate home thanks to the perfect love that God has for us.