Anticipation

How many more days until Disney??????

Happy Halloween! I hope you and your family have fun tonight Trick or Treating together!

I get a little cynical about Halloween because of two things.

1) We avoid death at all costs and then make light of it one month out of the year. I think Halloween is fun to a certain extent. I like dressing up in a costume and carving pumpkins and having parties. But when you have the whole Halloween store on your front yard and bloody handprints on the windows, I think that's a bit too far.

2) The minute the clock chimes midnight and it's November, everyone instantly goes into Christmas mode. Never mind Thanksgiving. We just want to go straight to the holiday where we ask for things to be given of us. This isn't going to be a post ranting about the importance of Thanksgiving (I'll do that post later) but rather, a pontification about why we anticipate Christmas so much. In fact, why do we anticipate things in the first place?

I am definitely in a state of anticipation right now as I count down the days until we get to go to Disney. I'm listening to Disney music, Disney podcasts, watching old Disney videos from past trips (mine as well as others on youtube), making costumes, and my suitcase has been open with all the things I need for the trip resting nicely inside. One minute I'm on a Disney cloud. Next minute, I'm sad because the trip seems so far away still. The push and the pull of emotions brought on by anticipation seems to be killing me, as the saying goes.

So what is it about Disney that gets me all excited and anxious about going? It's the fact that it's a vacation in a place I find joy and I get to share it with some favorite people of mine. It's a guarantee that no matter what we end up enjoying our time together and make memories for a lifetime.

I think this is what the draw is for Christmas too. Although Christmas brings some baggage with family dynamics and those who have experienced loss, it's a time where society seems to be at least trying to be better. We smile at each other. We give gifts. We sing songs about hope and joy. We think about how terrible Mr. Scrooge was and thank goodness those ghosts taught him a lesson! We have random flash mobs in the mall singing Christmas music and bringing magic to normal everyday life. We eat good food and spend time with those we love most.

Let's zoom out even further. What are other things we anticipate besides Disney trips and Christmas? I know for our family, we anticipate when Jared's job will allow him to gain seniority. We anticipate our small business growing. Some might anticipate a certain team winning the Super Bowl (*cough...Cowboys*). Others might anticipate that special someone coming into their lives. Some might be anticipating the new life coming into their family. I know some are anticipating loved ones coming back home.

Anticipation allows us to see what we desire. What is that thing that we are most eagerly awaiting to happen? Point to that, and that is what your heart is chasing after. It's not bad. But if you are not careful, it can lead to bad things. If you allow your emotions then to go like mine waiting for my Disney trip, then your going to be swinging back and forth between cloud nine and hopelessness, wondering if it will ever happen.

Now, the church answer to what we should actually be anticipating is "We should be eagerly awaiting when Jesus is coming back." And yes, while that sounds nice, many of us would go, "Well, sure. But people keep guessing the date wrong and in the meantime..."

So the question is, why is it so hard to get excited about Jesus coming back?

I don't have the answer to that.

I have theories. They range from the fact that I don't have a date for Jesus' return. I'm also pretty sure I will die before that happens. But, again, I don't know that for sure. I also think that part of me is like, "I talk to God every day. It's not like he's in another country and I'm waiting for him to come home." Life doesn't seem so bad that I want him to come and take me away from it. So what's the rush?

This the line of thinking that makes it hard to anticipate Jesus returning like I anticipate Disney. So I'm going to let this question marinate in my own brain. While I already have a passionate love for God and wanting to bring him glory, why is it hard for me to find the emotions to get excited about God coming back? I know it's possible. I've experienced it before. And when I do, how do I integrate my life with that passion for his return?

We Get Permission to Fail!

I had the most interesting experience yesterday. We had a run scheduled (Tempo Intervals: 2000m with a 400m recovery three times in case anyone was really wondering). I laced up my kicks and grabbed my dog and my husband and I hit the pavement. But as we made it to the park, we found it incredibly crowded! Families of all sizes were out with their shiny new bikes and scooters. Puppies were being walked. Kids were playing in the trails. Soccer games were being played. It was beautiful. I didn't mind that I had to run on the grass often. I was just glad to see everyone out enjoying a beautiful day instead of watching TV on their couches.

We even saw one of my best friends Ashely! You may have heard how awesome she is in an earlier blog post. She was out running too and I was so glad to give her a big sweaty hug! We briefly talked (we're on our runs right?) and as we left, she announced, "Professional runners! Coming through!"

We laughed and I assured her, she's a professional too. But I started looking around and realizing many people out here are starting their "New Years Fitness Plan." They are going to ride their bike, run or walk x amount of days in a week and lose x amount of pounds. My beat up kicks were looking pretty worn out compared to some of the white new sneakers some people were wearing. What started whirring in my head is the question.

"If this is what people's new year resolutions are, how long will it last?"

I have felt different come this new years. I am not starting a new fitness plan, but cumulating a year and a half of training for a marathon. I'm on my third pair of sneakers and the new ones are already not new. And I didn't start this goal at the new year of 2012. I started it in August. Which makes no sense if you know about the heat in Texas in August.

But I stuck with it. So what was it that kept me working a year and a half later to get me to this point? As I mulled it over, I felt like it might help someone out there.

1. I felt that this journey was a calling from Jesus. You may think I'm crazy for saying that. But if you have read my past blog posts, you will realize that I've held this belief from the beginning. I believe that after thinking so negatively for so long, God challenged me to try. He gave me all the equipment I need...I just needed to trust him and go do it.

For once in my life I had goals. It gave me purpose and direction. That purpose and direction in my physical life overflowed into every other aspect of my life. It's a strange, supernatural phenomena. But because I listened to God in my fitness, I was able to hear him more clearly in the rest of my life. What I found is that Jesus gave us a purpose to live, no matter what area of life we are talking about. Jesus said trust Him and and love people. As I ran and wondered what I was doing, I decided to trust God and pray for people that I passed. I found that to be key to keeping me running and key to me making progress in every other goal I've made in day to day life.

2. It's ok not to be perfect. In the past I've made new years resolutions and when I fail on doing it perfectly, I give up all together. When people create art, do you think they do it perfectly from beginning to end? Of course not. That's why we have erasers for pencils and the ability to paint over things! But if an artist gave up the moment they made a mistake on their art pieces, they would never finish some of the beautiful artwork that inspires us today. In fact, some of the mistakes become inspirations to take the art to a totally higher level than they were expecting.

When I train, I don't do all my workouts! I miss some because life happens. I have found it key to forgive myself for missing a workout and getting right back on the workout wagon whenever I can to making sure I stick with my training plan and complete my goals.

What's even better, is that the Bible tells us that we have hope that God will forgive our sins. If you truly trust in Jesus, we can have full confidence that when we fail fighting sin and bad patterns in our lives (that we try to correct with new years resolutions), it will be forgiven and we can start again! The freedom to fail gives us the hope to fight against the sinful parts of our lives!

3. Christ will help us in our fight...if we ask him. I remember some of the early runs and I'm dying at the end. My legs are spent and I can't breathe. I used to repeat over and over in my head "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me."And you know, I made it through the run. Ironically, I do the same thing whether it's a three mile run or a twenty mile run. I hold the same conviction that Jesus is the source of my hope and my faith and He supernaturally helps in one way or another.

When we come across times where we can't seem to break cycles or the running gets tough or a relationship seems eternally broken, we can ask for help. If we trust God and love people and truly believe that as sons and daughters of Christ that our sins are forgiven, the supernatural will occur in our lives and we will see Christ come through in the fight.

So as you make your resolutions (and I think you should) I hope that you think about the fact that you are launching into something that hopefully, you can sustain longer than just a year. Hopefully, you can trust God to guide you and to build upon your faithfulness.

And remember, 2 Timothy says that even if we are unfaithful, God remains faithful because he cannot deny himself!

Happy New Year everyone.

Authentic Contentment

Hello everyone! It's been an amazing week and weekend so far!

Last weekend I got to run another race with my parents..the Rhar and Sons Oktoberfest 5K! While I couldn't drink the beer due to my food allergy, I still had tons of fun with my parents and set a PR for my 5K!

Mom and I before the race!

Right before the start!

Post Race Festivities!

I finally (officially!) PR'ed my 5K at 29:54.6!

Now, one thing I want to make sure gets across, is that it's easy to look at someone who's achieved a ton of their goals (especially all at once) and say, "Wow. It's great you can do that. You are superwomen! I can't do what you do."

And if that's what you have to say, then I have failed as the goal of my blog. This blog isn't to show off to the world about my running. I'm not that good in the first place! But what I hope you see is someone who was challenged, set goals, and worked step by step to meet them. I had two major milestones this past week that had me on cloud nine. But they have been milestones months in the making. A year and a month if you want to be exact! I am a normal, messed up human being with sin and trials and, thankfully, a Savior. I couldn't run 30 seconds at the beginning of this journey. I hope you see my writing as an authentic representation of what God is teaching me, and I hope He is using it to encourage and challenge you to be in His presence, in His love. Without him none of this is possible.

Something along the same lines that I have learned from it all, is that while I set goals and strive to achieve them, I have actually learned how to live in the moment. I have learned to enjoy the journey. I don't run and pine or worry over the ability to run a marathon. I simply say, "This is what I can do today, and it's the next step to get me where I need to be tomorrow." I've been able to spend some quality time with God on my long runs. I've learned to worship him even if my legs are screaming and some of my most treasured moments with him have been while I'm alone running through his creation. I've learned that God has me right where I need to be no matter what the circumstances and I am content in that!

So with that said, here's to another round of training. This one leads to my BIG goal, the one I've been working toward for 13 months. The Walt Disney World Marathon!

Here we go!

Running Free, One Step at a Time

Hi everyone! I am joining a running team with Redeemed Ministries to help raise money for a new safehouse. Below is what I wrote for their blog today. Enjoy!

Hi everyone. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog.

It was a little under a year ago. One day, God challenged me when I had doubts about running. I was watching a TV reality show and the contestants were running a marathon. I instantly thought, "I could never do that." God said, "Really? I gave you a heart. I gave you legs and feet and lungs. What else do you need to go out and run?"

I realized that I had limited myself in what I thought I could do. Slightly angry at myself, I decided that I would train for a marathon. With no timeline in place, I started out walking, then running for a little bit. That turned into running more, which became running long and running frequently. I have amazed myself at what I am capable of and what I have probably been capable of for years. All I had to do was make a commitment to get out there when it was time to run, and believe in God that when he said, "You can a marathon," he's right. Who knows me better than the one who formed me?

When I learned about human trafficking, I was angry. I was extremely upset that this was happening on my watch. However, I had to wait for two years while God worked his perfect timing to introduce me to Redeemed. When I went to volunteer trainings, I was completely overwhelmed. It seemed like such a big culture driven problem that would take forever to overcome. How can a simple, young person like me do anything to change it?

But instead of getting overwhelmed, I helped out where I could. I saw needs and I said yes, I will help. Those small, seemingly insignificant "yes" moments have allowed me to see the hand of God work in these women's lives.

As I have sat down and really thought about how long a marathon really is, I get easily overwhelmed at the thought of it. But then I realize that just like any other run, I'm going to have to just take it one mile at at time. Just like the running, if you really sit down and look at the issue of human trafficking, it seems like a gargantuan issue. How can we change something that is so engrained in culture and help heal the trauma that these girls live with the rest of their lives?

My answer, just like running, it one small step at a time. We want to build a new safe house so that we can help more women who are coming out of these trafficking situations. We want to provide a place where they can feel safe and God can help heal the hurt and the pain that comes with what they have been through. One person can't do all of it, but if we all lean in the same direction we can really make a huge difference.

Thank you for supporting our team. Your pledge is the small bits that make a huge difference in the life of these girls! Look for more posts from our team as we run for freedom!

To make a pledge, please visit https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1gLF4zk5sR59Da6XEowhRCzvutVxNYyT0PbMvFnp_xmE/viewform!

The Point of Christmas

I've been so excited for this Christmas and came across this passage that made me giggle on the inside. So naturally, I need to share it with the world! :)

Merry Christmas!

Week 3: Loving Life, Loving God and Cedar Plank Salmon?

So today marks the beginning of a new week! Many times at school I wouldn't like new weeks because it meant another week of classes and tests and projects. But now I look forward to new weeks. I anticipate what God has planned for me and I look forward to my work. That is something I haven't experienced before but I like it.

This week has its own challenges ahead. I'm going to start planning for the next series of Elevate and Jared has three students with check rides! Ahhhh! Please keep them in your prayers.

So tonight I am enjoying the short time I have with my hubby. He got me some beautiful flowers this weekend! Picture included! We did errands, took a nap and went running. We tried a new protein recovery drink shock tastes just like a Frappachino and I am willingly letting my husband grill salmon on a piece of cedar! What is the world coming to (I love you Daddy lol)???

Running across America is 1.08 miles outside Williamsburg! Maybe I'll see Felicity on my way through and have an afternoon tea. :)

Verse to run with!

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)