Day 4 Recap: Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party!

After the late night/early morning the night before, we slept WAY in the morning after! In fact, it was afternoon before we were really up and at 'em.

I could get used to this view!

After lunch next to the bay, we headed to the Magic Kingdom, via monorail of course!

It was all decked out for Christmas!

Upon arrival, we promptly started riding some rides! What was really fun was Buzz Lightyear!

Spinning around on Buzz!

Jared achieved Galactic Hero status!

After Buzz, we went to all the mountains. Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain and the new "mountain" Seven Dwarves. Fast Passes are so much fun and we love these rides!

In line for the Wildest Ride in the Wilderness!

It finally got dark and the official "party" started. We rode Haunted Mansion followed by Pirates and for the first time, the Jingle Cruise!

We loved the Christmas overlay on the Jungle Cruise! Best time we have ever rode this attraction!

After riding all the favorite rides, we got ourselves some hot cocoa and cookies and settled in to the sea of people to watch the Christmas Parade!

Of course, Anna and Elsa showed up!

The lights on the castle were magical!

So many people!

Post Christmas parade and fireworks Mom and Dad went back to the hotel and Jared and I stayed to go on more rides. We hit our favorites again including Buzz Lightyear, the Peoplemover, Seven Dwarves, Thunder Mountain and we finished out the night with Spash Mountain!

Jared got his Galactic Hero button!

The actual que for the Seven Dwarves...we had never seen it before!

Plummeting into the briar patch!!

This was one of the most magical days for me with my family. Even in early November, I felt the Christmas spirit and had so much fun riding all my favorite rides with the people I love.

You actually want to get a taste of what it was like being there? Well, Christmas wish granted!

Anticipation

How many more days until Disney??????

Happy Halloween! I hope you and your family have fun tonight Trick or Treating together!

I get a little cynical about Halloween because of two things.

1) We avoid death at all costs and then make light of it one month out of the year. I think Halloween is fun to a certain extent. I like dressing up in a costume and carving pumpkins and having parties. But when you have the whole Halloween store on your front yard and bloody handprints on the windows, I think that's a bit too far.

2) The minute the clock chimes midnight and it's November, everyone instantly goes into Christmas mode. Never mind Thanksgiving. We just want to go straight to the holiday where we ask for things to be given of us. This isn't going to be a post ranting about the importance of Thanksgiving (I'll do that post later) but rather, a pontification about why we anticipate Christmas so much. In fact, why do we anticipate things in the first place?

I am definitely in a state of anticipation right now as I count down the days until we get to go to Disney. I'm listening to Disney music, Disney podcasts, watching old Disney videos from past trips (mine as well as others on youtube), making costumes, and my suitcase has been open with all the things I need for the trip resting nicely inside. One minute I'm on a Disney cloud. Next minute, I'm sad because the trip seems so far away still. The push and the pull of emotions brought on by anticipation seems to be killing me, as the saying goes.

So what is it about Disney that gets me all excited and anxious about going? It's the fact that it's a vacation in a place I find joy and I get to share it with some favorite people of mine. It's a guarantee that no matter what we end up enjoying our time together and make memories for a lifetime.

I think this is what the draw is for Christmas too. Although Christmas brings some baggage with family dynamics and those who have experienced loss, it's a time where society seems to be at least trying to be better. We smile at each other. We give gifts. We sing songs about hope and joy. We think about how terrible Mr. Scrooge was and thank goodness those ghosts taught him a lesson! We have random flash mobs in the mall singing Christmas music and bringing magic to normal everyday life. We eat good food and spend time with those we love most.

Let's zoom out even further. What are other things we anticipate besides Disney trips and Christmas? I know for our family, we anticipate when Jared's job will allow him to gain seniority. We anticipate our small business growing. Some might anticipate a certain team winning the Super Bowl (*cough...Cowboys*). Others might anticipate that special someone coming into their lives. Some might be anticipating the new life coming into their family. I know some are anticipating loved ones coming back home.

Anticipation allows us to see what we desire. What is that thing that we are most eagerly awaiting to happen? Point to that, and that is what your heart is chasing after. It's not bad. But if you are not careful, it can lead to bad things. If you allow your emotions then to go like mine waiting for my Disney trip, then your going to be swinging back and forth between cloud nine and hopelessness, wondering if it will ever happen.

Now, the church answer to what we should actually be anticipating is "We should be eagerly awaiting when Jesus is coming back." And yes, while that sounds nice, many of us would go, "Well, sure. But people keep guessing the date wrong and in the meantime..."

So the question is, why is it so hard to get excited about Jesus coming back?

I don't have the answer to that.

I have theories. They range from the fact that I don't have a date for Jesus' return. I'm also pretty sure I will die before that happens. But, again, I don't know that for sure. I also think that part of me is like, "I talk to God every day. It's not like he's in another country and I'm waiting for him to come home." Life doesn't seem so bad that I want him to come and take me away from it. So what's the rush?

This the line of thinking that makes it hard to anticipate Jesus returning like I anticipate Disney. So I'm going to let this question marinate in my own brain. While I already have a passionate love for God and wanting to bring him glory, why is it hard for me to find the emotions to get excited about God coming back? I know it's possible. I've experienced it before. And when I do, how do I integrate my life with that passion for his return?

It's cold outside!

So it's been a few weeks after Christmas now and I am so excited to share what I got to work on for a customer from my Knick Knack Kitting services! This customer wanted to get something for Christmas his whole family would enjoy, and they all got beautiful hats and scarves!

A lovely modern hat for mom and sisters!

All got flowers and matching scarves!

Different colors for individuality!

Nieces got matching hats.

His nephew got a hat too...but all in his own colors!

This project made me so happy for a couple of reasons! 

1. Norwegian genie hats are really beautiful. The pattern created by the contrasting colors makes a really nice statement. Plus, they definitely keep your ears warm!

2. The white beanie hats provided a new technique for me to learn where I actually knitted the hat sideways and then added the top on later. From a knitters standpoint, I think the result is a very modern look for a beanie! Add the cute bow and buttons and it's definitely a very stylish yet functional hat!

It's cold for us here in Texas. So if you are looking to get something cute yet functional for yourself, you can click on the Knick Knack Knitting tab above and order a very special knitted piece of your own! 

Talk to y'all again soon!

Maddie

Say something, I'm giving up.

It's after midnight and I can't fall asleep. I didn't even have hot chocolate or anything with caffeine in it. Instead, I have a song stuck in my head. And after an hour of learning it on the guitar trying to get it all out, it's still eating at me. GT English critical reading essays have ruined me for life I think. So you all get a treat of my insomniac critical essay on the song stuck in my head.

But I think you will like it.

The song in question is called "Say Something," by A Great Big World. It's a beautiful yet slightly haunting melody that I just can't get enough of.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'll be the one, if you want me to.
Anywhere, I would've followed you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.Immediately, I see two people, not unlike Jared and myself, who are at the end of a particularly frustrating argument. If it's me singing it, it's probably because I've done all the talking and I'm just yearning for him to engage. I'll be his girl, if he wants it. I will follow him anywhere, just like I have in the past. But I need that connection. I need him to talk with me.

And I am feeling so small.
It was over my head
I know nothing at all.

And I will stumble and fall.
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl.

Here we see expectations meeting reality. The enormity of the anger, frustration, sadness and loneliness in the relationship is causing me to feel so incapable of solving it. I had expectations of love, but I obviously was naive to think that it would be like what I expected.

But hey. I realize I'm going to mess up. This is my first (and hopefully only) marriage. I'm going to mess up. Just like a toddler, I have to learn to walk before I can run.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
Anywhere, I would've followed you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.

And I will swallow my pride.
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye.

When I feel like I'm getting no response, my corresponding reaction is that I can't communicate with you. My feelings are not getting heard, just causing more pain, more grief, more doubt that I could ever help make this work. So instead of getting hurt more, I'm just going to say goodbye.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
And anywhere, I would have followed you.
Oh-oh-oh-oh say something, I'm giving up on you.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
Say something...

And yet, even after all the hurt, all the anguish, I repeat myself just one last time. I still hold out hope that I can somehow, someway, get a positive response...

While I relate to this song on a level in my marriage primarily, I've been thinking that this is much like my friendships sometimes. I'd venture to say, this pops up in almost any relationship of any sort. People we love sometimes don't realize how much we crave their interaction, their affection or their support in our lives and we just cry out in angst for someone to say something, anything, where we don't feel alone. It can be heightened by social media, where we can have so many "friends" yet feel so alone at home.

But as Christmas rolls around and it heightens our sensitivity to our social relationships, I think this song touches a much deeper level of need that people are seeking. In reality, we are looking for unconditional love. Yet, we are seeking it from humans whom are incapable of it.

Now we have all heard that God loves us. But it's a ton easier to believe that God exists rather than believe that an all powerful being cares about me and my going-ons personally. It's hard to believe that he cares about my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams, my fears. It's hard to believe that he's as interested in hearing about my day at work as he is about orphans in Africa.

But that's the truth. And yet, sometimes it's so hard to feel that love. It's so hard to feel it and believe it, especially in the hardest and most painful circumstances. It's at that point that we yell out, "Say something!" to God, hoping that we get a burning bush or a parting of the sea to show us his power. We doubt. We say I would have followed you. Yet because I cannot feel you or see any inkling of your interaction with me, I'm giving up on you.

Maybe you have had this kind of interaction with God. Now, Christmas is just a reminder of that struggle with God and the feelings of being alone. But what you have to realize is that during a storm, all you can see are the clouds and the thunder and lightning. It gets really dark and dangerous as the storm builds and starts dumping water everywhere.

When I went running the other day, it was raining at the beginning. But after an hour or so of running through the rain and the cold, the rain stopped, the clouds moved and the sun came out. That got me thinking. Just because it's storming doesn't mean the sun isn't there. It's just hidden. Get in a plane (if it's safe) and pop up through the clouds and it's there. Shining as ever, giving a warm glow. In a life storm, all you may see are the dark and rainy parts. The lighting may frighten you and the thunder may be loud, but God's still there, behind the storm. He will never leave you. The song we may sing in our anguish is, thankfully, not his song.

His song can be found in 2 Timothy chapter 2:
"If we died with him, we will also live with him.
If we endure, we will also reign with him.
If we deny him, he will also deny us.
If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, since he cannot deny himself."

God will always remain faithful, even if we say goodbye to him due to our unbelief. He is love. He is grace. He came to Earth on Christmas to bring you hope that you are not alone in the storm. You are not alone in your struggle or your anguish. You do not have the bear the burdens of your destructive behavior you have now. God came to give himself as a gift to the world. It's like a present under the tree. It's been paid for and wrapped, all you have to do is accept it for your own.

If Jesus were to rewrite some of this song, I think he would say
Say something, I'm coming to you.
I love you and I give my life for you.
Anywhere, I'm always with you.
Say something, yet I'm not giving up on you.

Back from the Silent...something...trying to sound cool...

Hello everyone! It's been a while since I've posted. I've been busy getting things for work done, attending different events for Redeemed, decorating for Christmas, spending time with family, etc. Then #iceapocalypse hit Dallas Thursday and it has forced me to slooooowwwww dooooowwwwwnn. Hence, now I have plenty of time to blog!

My favorite picture from our adventure out yesterday.

Jared and I are getting a little stir crazy in our 720 sq ft apartment (and that includes our deck and laundry room/outdoor storage area). We have made Christmas presents, cooked. I attempted to paint my nails and they didn't turn out as bad as usual. We have done laundry, cleaned, discovered Undercover Boss on Netflix and probably spent more time on Facebook and Pinterest than ever before! Problem is, we are running out of things to do!

Jared and I took a walk yesterday and slid around for a bit. Jared attempted to go to work this morning but there were tons of people stranded at the little gas station next to our apartment and police officers were advising everyone to stay home. I have to say, it's not the fact that I have spent three days at home that's really bugging me. It's the fact that I have no other option but to stay home. I don't like it when I can't go out and do things I want on my unexpected time off and that's what is really wearing down on me.

I think about what I would be doing right now if I hadn't been iced in. First, I would have worked a ton more. We would have done a big outreach at the Children's parade, a fun party for foster kids, I would have friends over right now and we would be eating a big pasta dinner in preparation for our marathon relay tomorrow. It may seem overdramatic, but it's almost like I'm grieving over it. These fun things to do with people I love no longer are happening and I'm pretty sad.

I've prayed a ton over the last few days. I've asked God what the deal is and where he is going with this. After all, with the marathon relay, I felt that was something he asked me to do. I am sad we didn't get to invite the people at the Children's parade to church. I'm sad for the kids that were supposed to come to our church this weekend.

But Jared and I in all of our Netflix-ing watched the Polar Express last night. My favorite part of this movie is when the kid had seen the effects of Santa Claus. With the Polar Express and elves (which honestly are a little creepy in that movie) and a giant mound of presents and the reindeer, he still had to choose to believe even if he couldn't see Santa. He had to act on faith. The conductor even said, "Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

God obviously doesn't come down in visual form of his glory and power. We would all wig out! But we see the effect of God. We see the changed lives, the peace, the miracles. We feel the effects of God in our emotions and our lives when we do life the way he designed it. It never seems to make sense, like reindeer flying with a sled full of presents for the entire world, but somehow it always works out.

So I'll continue to keep myself busy until we finally see the ice melt. I'm so not looking forward to my workout on the dreadmill tomorrow. Jared's vacuuming right now, and he HARDLY EVER VACUUMS. And even after the ice melts and we go on with our lives, I will continually act on faith, even when the doubt creeps in. God doesn't necessarily make sense, but I believe he knows what he's doing!

The Point of Christmas

I've been so excited for this Christmas and came across this passage that made me giggle on the inside. So naturally, I need to share it with the world! :)

Merry Christmas!