Geocaching: Road to 600

So in case you didn't read all my other posts, Jared and I are big geocachers! Many of our trips camping or otherwise include geocaching. We find it enhances our trips and makes things fun. We not only see beautiful views but we learn a ton historically and educationally.

I've been trying to complete my "Finds in on a day" calendar. Basically, find a geocache for every date of the year, including Leap Year. Here's how I stand to date.

Only 163 more to go!

Naturally, trying to achieve this makes my geocaching find rate go up from 0.3425 caches/day in 2015 to 1.0849 caches/day. You then quickly rack up the numbers. So while it seemed like only yesterday we were celebrating 500 geocaches, 600 was coming up really soon.

Thing was, we had also started a Lord of the Rings themed series while this was all going on. We had found about half of the needed geocaches over subsequent trips. So when Jared came around and asked me if we wanted to not only grab all the rest of them, but to make the Puzzle final my 600th, I was game. There was only one catch...I needed 16 more caches and we only had 10 left in the LOTR series. So we had to make up the extra as we went along. 

But why read about it when you can watch the adventure! Check out the video below to see what the fuss was all about! (Keep in mind, it took us much longer to find the final geocache than 4 minutes, but I clipped most of the stuff out so you won't have to watch 22 minutes of dark screen haha). 

Happy Birthday Prince Charming!

Today is an exciting day. It's Jared's birthday!

It's this hunk's birthday!

Today also marks the four month period where I get to make fun of him by calling him old. :p

But if you would allow me, I'd like to brag on him for a bit. 

1) He is seriously handsome. He's tall dark and handsome and I can seriously not get over the incredible color of his eyes.

2) He is seriously talented. Not only can he fly a plane, but he can build stuff out of nowhere. He can paint, play several instruments, hunt, cook and is a fantastic athlete. He's a renaissance man for the modern day.

3) He's funny. We can be stuck in an airport and he makes it fun. Those are the kind of people you need in your life. Instead of complaining about a situation, you make the situation an adventure.

4) Speaking of adventures, he loves them. I love getting to travel with him and see so many amazing things. He's so good at mixing the right amount of plan with the right amount of spontaneity. He loves history just as much as I do and yes, he has gone on the adventure of Disney with me.

5) He doesn't take himself too seriously. While I'm listening to Disney music he will sing along with me. We go to weddings and he dances with me (even though he thinks he's bad). While I take myself too seriously sometimes, he manages to bring my inner child out and we just have fun together.

6) He listens. Sometimes he can't figure out how to put what I say into action, but he does listen. Knowing that I have his ear and he trusts me allows me to be open about myself in a way I've never thought possible. 

7) He's encouraging. When I'm having a hard day, he notices and tries to encourage me. Even when I am extra stubborn, he doesn't quit on me. That, speaks volumes to me in love. 

I won't do one for every year he's been alive, but he is certainly my Prince Charming. He's a real man who leads well. I never thought I wanted to get married because I loved my independence so much. But being married to Jared has been so much better than going on my own. Thank you for all your love Jared. I'm so glad today we get to celebrate you!

Love,

Your Princess

Date: Day Trip to Waco!

Jared got an unexpected week off of work last month. We took advantage of the time together and we decided to make a day trip to Waco!

We started off by visiting the Magnolia Farms store. We were wandering around looking at some of the stuff, but honestly, were a little disappointed. Maybe it's just us having ridiculous expectations. Maybe it's just because many of the decorations were not our style. But we enjoyed our time non-the-less.

We then moved on to lunch followed by the Dr. Pepper museum!

Cheesin'

Jared picked up the "scavenger hunt" of things to look for while we were going around the small museum. It was so cool to check out the history of this place, not to mention the Dr. Pepper float that we got to share at the end!

They used to make deliveries in this thing!

Another highlight of the trip was getting to do some geocaching! We picked some of the most favorited caches in Waco and got our smiley faces all over the city!

Looking over the Brazos.

My Captain America :)

It was a nice day trip we got to share together. We are finding it hard these days to naturally spend quality time together and we are making an effort to make it it happen! Highly suggest you go visit Waco if you get a chance!

Living with PTSD

Many times on this blog, I've mentioned one of two things: my struggle with my depression and my PTSD. I am not a war vet, so many people don't even know I have it. Plus, I would never compare myself to any of them when it comes to bravery and honor. These people make life altering decisions to protect my freedom. No, my PTSD came from what happened to me at 15. I, along with my family, were victims of a home invasion. And it has fundamentally changed my life.

Initially, I wanted to just forget that it happened. As a teenager, I didn't want to go to a counselor or admit that anything was wrong. I wanted to be normal. I remember I missed that morning at school after being up until 2:00 AM with police as they investigated my house. When I arrived at lunch time, all my friends were asking where I had been. Many reacted with total shock when they heard and treated me weird afterwards. I had flashbacks walking down the stairs from classes, in the halls. I constantly felt paranoid and couldn't calm myself. I didn't understand why it happened or why I couldn't just shake it off. I remember wondering if there was ever going to be a day where I didn't think about it. If these men had stolen my ability to think about anything else. 

Thankfully high school kept me stressed out enough I could focus all my energy on that rather than why I couldn't get past my brush with death. Unfortunately, that caused my college years to be chaotic. Emotions always ran high. I frequently had insomnia or just always wanted to sleep. I would shut down if something became too overwhelming and many times, I barely had the motivation to continue with my studies. Living with my best friends helped immensely. Meeting Jared got me through many of my rough patches, especially when I went to live on my own at the end of my schooling. But I couldn't deny my bouts of depression, frequent nightmares and outbursts of anger any longer. I struggled with God, wondering why I couldn't overcome my issues. I experienced his deep love at the bottom of my pit my junior year of college. But it wasn't until graduation and getting married that I realized my issues were much deeper and I really needed help. 

Thankfully, when I moved to Dallas I was referred to a really great counselor. At the beginning, I was really frustrated because I was diagnosed with PTSD. I resented feeling labeled. Yet, as I met with her and she explained some of the symptoms and ways to manage them, I realized it wasn't a label, it was a method of getting better. My nightmares were normal. My insomnia, flashbacks, anger, paranoia, all were explained and methods to deal with them were then introduced to me. I had an unrealistic expectation that I could "cure myself" where I never had to deal with it again. But God actually used my work with trafficking survivors to help me see that I was going to have good and bad days. That the symptoms would diminish, but not necessarily always go away forever. I would ask God why he wouldn't just take it away. But I realize he has taken something terrible that has happened to me and made it a way to remind me to always trust in God. Paul mentioned he had a thorn in his side that God never took away. Mine seems to be PTSD. 

So what does it look like to live with PTSD? For starters, you have to realize that your brain has been structurally transformed due to the prolonged stress. Fight or flight responses are great for survival. However, if constantly turned on, they actually form additional channels of neurons to help deal with the stress. Post-trauma, if any of these neurons fire due to just a little amount of stress, it can trigger the same emotions that you felt when the trauma was occurring. Some of these things can be big. A kid pointed a stick at me while I was jogging in the park the other day. He was playing pretend and was an army dude "protecting the bridge." The kid didn't know doing that was going to cause me to have a flash back. But I did. Thankfully, I knew how to deal with it using a grounding technique my counselor taught me. A mile down the trail. I was feeling shaken, but relatively confident no one was pointing a gun at me.

Yet, small things can do it too. Just the other day, Jared and I were geocaching. We couldn't find the darn thing. We were bushwacking and getting frustrated and I got so overwhelmed I began to cry. Obvious to any other person, a geocache isn't worth crying for. But the constant weaving in and out of bushes and getting poked by thorns set me off where I just broke. But, thankfully, I knew it was normal for someone with my brain to get upset by that. I reassured myself that we weren't in any real danger. Then two minutes later, I was fine. Plus we found the geocache haha. So, it's just a good thing for others to know, I might get overwhelmed for a couple of minutes, and I just need to cry it out sometimes. My brain is bringing all the emotions of my past and crashing them into my present. It takes me a bit to regain control, but I'm learning how to do it better and better these days.

Secondly, for me, I need to feel accepted by those that I love. It's hard to let your guard down and be vulnerable to a person when you have been assaulted. I tell Jared all the time to show me he loves me. I desire recent evidence to allow me to feel safe in our marriage, that I am accepted with my crazy brain and all. I know he's not perfect and thankfully, forgiveness runs rampant in our household, because we both need it. But when he does show me how much he loves me, it helps me immensely to be able to feel secure. Husbands and wives...show your spouse you love them. They often feel like weirdos and outcasts even without PTSD. Showing them they are VALUED helps the healing go a long way. 

And thirdly, know that because of what has happened to me, God has implanted a deep empathy in my heart for those that go through traumatic experiences. Dr. Tomi Grover said it best that God uses the gloriously ruined to rescue those whom God wants to gloriously rescue. I understand on a deep level the shame and insecurities that come with constantly battling the past and trying to not let it affect your future. He has given me a deep love for people. That love has since transcended into my calling. 

While everyone is different in how they deal with it, I hope me being raw and real helps you, the reader, understand a little bit more about how complex stress and emotions can become when living with PTSD. Sometimes, I don't know how to explain myself and my crazy habits sometimes. Lord bless Jared when he married me! Yet, honestly, if I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn't change anything. While I know I might not ever be "cured," I also know that living with PTSD causes me to rely on God more than ever and to reach out to people who need him all the more. And I can say I am truly thankful for that. 

Geo-what?

The title of this blog is a question that Jared and I, along with many other geocachers, hear when telling someone about geocaching. We call them muggles. Just that fact alone makes my inner Harry Potter nerd so happy!

But while wizards in Harry Potter want to keep muggles ignorant of the wizarding world, geocachers actually embrace them and try to convert them to love geocaching just as much as we do. So, let me answer the question to "Geo-what?"

Geocaching is basically a worldwide treasure hunt game. When GPS first came out to the public, a guy named Dave Ulmer decided to test it's accuracy by hiding a bucket of trinkets in the middle of the woods with a log book and see who could find it. Much to their amazement, it was found in a day. This sparked many others to hid things in the woods and share the coordinates to see if someone would be able to find it.

Thus geocaching was born. Hide a container somewhere. Put a log in it. Post the coordinates. See who finds it!

Jared and I love geocaching for a few reasons.

1) People often place geocaches in areas they find beautiful. We have been on so many hikes led by geocache coordinates that have been gorgeous. We would have never tried these trails otherwise. For example, we went camping in Austin and found this beautiful spring in the middle of nowhere...because there was a geocache nearby!

The spring trickled down and created a little waterfall.

It was so beautiful!

2) The geocaches also take us through historically significant spots when touring new places! Again, these are places we may have never known otherwise. When we went to Boston, we got to see where the first telephone conversation was made from along with the entire Boston Freedom Trail. It was like our own personal tour guide!

I got to toss "tea" into the Boston Harbor!

3) Some of the geocaches are very creative. Our favorites are where people obviously take the time to make the hunt and find very entertaining. Sure, we will find the pill bottles stuck in trees, but we really love not only a challenge, but a great container. Here's a video of a geocache that Jared gained some inspiration from for the geocache that he hid.


4) Geocaching can literally be done around the world. Check out Europe and all the geocaches there!

So Jared and I highly encourage you to check out geocaching.com and sign up for a free account. You can geocache from your smart phone and they have great tools for beginners to find out how to begin. May your adventures be many!

Secret Date to the Lake!

Hi everyone! I am pretty proud of the fact that my husband comes up with some great date ideas. Mine are not half bad either if I do say so myself. We keep getting on Pinterest and trying to see if there are any other great date ideas, and sadly, we have already done most of them! So instead of complaining, we thought we could try to add to the mix and give some good ideas to anyone looking for some fun things to do!

Jared and I actually did this date almost five years ago now when we had our first summer in separate cities while still in college. Jared came to visit me and so I got to show him my town! He had no idea when he came to what I had planned. So we made the long car ride to... Ft. Worth! And I got to show him one of my favorite local places, Burgers Lake!

Image from http://www.burgerslake.com/

This little swimming hole was built over 50 years ago, but they are constantly updating it and have a great set up! There's a trapeze, high dive, water slide and diving platform. My family has been coming for a while now and we've seen the high standards the owners hold the lifeguards to first hand. My cousin was actually asked to be a "fake drowning victim" to test the lifeguards and they were on top of it! The place is quaint and beautiful and there are picnic tables everywhere with places to grill!

Jared and I had so much fun jumping off everything and then grilled hamburgers. But the best part, was I brought painting supplies! We didn't know a ton about each other yet and so we each took a half of a heart and painted different things that we loved. That was the only rule. I think it was pretty obvious that our personalities came out on the canvas!

Drying!

Put together!

We STILL cherish this painting today!

After the lake, we changed (they have great showers at Burgers Lake!) and went to downtown Ft. Worth to the Water Gardens! This place is amazing and definitely worth visiting. I love going back again and again!

Our favorite spot, the waterfall you can actually walk down into!

Yep. I was in love!

I love the water!

Our first of many times to the Water Gardens!

This date isn't really different or outrageous. But we visited a new place and added a personal touch since we both loved painting. Dates don't have to be super spectacular like you see on the Bachelor or something. They just need to have a great combination of new and common interest that ultimately brings you two closer together!

Have you gone on dates to lakes that were really fun?

Let's Go Camping!!

Last week I turned 25!!!! I had the most amazing birthday yet. My friends and family really made the day so special!

One of my favorite things that we did for my birthday was go CAMPING! Jared and I love to camp! It's an amazing way to get away and unplug (literally) from the world. We have so much fun and see such amazing things. Check out this view that we had!!!

Camping has really been a crucial piece of our marriage as well. We have a pretty solid marriage on a day to day basis. But getting away and not getting distracted by phones or TV or anything else is really special. It takes our relationship deeper and stronger and we come back feeling so refreshed!

We've been going camping for a while now. We are by no means experts but we feel like we have a great system down and can do it pretty cheap! And while Jared and I were out on our last camping trip, we discussed that it might be a good idea to pass on our tips and tricks for camping! We hope that this series of blogs will be helpful for anyone out there that might be interested in starting to explore the great outdoors!

So the first thing you really need to think about before you do anything is set your expectations. Camping is a ton of work. There is a ton of preparation involved. You are going outdoors. There are bugs and no air conditioning and everything takes twice as long to do as it takes at home with a ton more effort. It's not going to be a five star hotel, but you will have an adventure! Setting your expectations is important to help your planning and teamwork to go better. Good planning makes a really great camping experience!

Second thing you need to do is decide weather you want to go RVing, camp in an enclosure, or go with the tent. Jared actually lived in an RV for a month between apartment rentals, and I actually enjoyed visiting while he lived there. It is nice to have an enclosure with semi-house like feel. My extended families would take their pop up campers with them on our family camping trips and they do make the experience a bit more pleasant for those who don't camp often or aren't big fans of the outdoors.

Enclosures are actual cabins at the campgrounds. They usually do not have air conditioning but have bunk beds where you can bring a mattress and sleeping bag and you aren't sleeping on the ground. There are also usually screened in which cuts out on the bugs.

Our Little Tent!

Jared and I actually camp out in our little two person tent on the ground! We love the fact that we can not put the rainfly on if we are expecting good weather and fall asleep looking at the stars! It's one of my favorite parts of camping! We do have backpacker mattress pads to help cushion our sleep since we both naturally sleep on our sides and the ground gets really rough on our hips and shoulders. However, the not-as-great-as-at-home night sleep is totally worth some of the amazing views we see and places we get to camp!

So once you know what type of sleeping arrangements you want to have, you can then start looking for campgrounds! Make sure they have spaces that accommodate your camping preferences, and then start planning for a great trip!

Next camping blog, Jared and I will share some of our favorite places to camp!

We are also, by no means, experts. We would value any input you may have! How do you camp and why?

When Doubt Creeps In

It's been a rough couple of weeks.

Nothing drastically bad has happened. I just have had small things happen over the last few weeks. But we all know that these small things can build up and become big monsters in no time.

First small things that have happened have been with Redeemed. In this case it's things not happening. Churches backing out on us coming to talk to them, people flaking out on things they committed to, etc. I was really excited about some of these things happening and the fact that they didn't' work out really bummed me out.

Second thing that has been happening is kinda good. Jared and I started going through Financial Peace together. We are not in financial crisis by any standard. However, we have learned a whole bunch. Yet, when we talk about things that need to get paid for or things that we want to do and we can't afford them, it's another small let down. Can I survive without participating in the Turkey Trot this year? Sure I can. Can we survive without eating out? Absolutely. And we probably will be better off without it. But when it seems all my husband worries about when we go out is the bottom line of "how much is this going to cost us," it really makes time together a bummer. We've since discussed this and make an agreement on how to change it (which is why I'm ok with telling whoever reads this about this conflict in my marriage). What's bumming me out though is that Jared and I have had several talks recently. Really deep ones. We've talked out so many things recently and I think we have reached a new level of understanding each other. I just sometimes feel like I am a bad wife.

This leads into the third thing that happened. Jared turned 25! I was so pumped for him. He was getting new shirts, boots for work, tons of birthday cards and tons of money (yay!) that I hoped made him feel special. However, I wasn't able to really do anything this year. This is a big deal for me because I usually am scheming a month out on surprises and fun things to do. But this year, I didn't want to spend that much money and I didn't have the time to devote to it like I have in the past. Add in Jared had to work on his birthday and all I could really do was tell him happy birthday and smile, and hopefully go to a restaurant he liked (which didn't happen either). To see the disappointment on his face made me feel like the worst person ever.

As a personality that bases most of my value on results, I feel pretty let down. I have many doubts right now that have been playing in the back of my head. I'm a terrible wife. I am not qualified enough to lead an anti-human trafficking organization. I'm not a good friend to those I love. I'm terrible with money. All my insecurities have come creeping up and causing me to doubt everything.

So the question is, what do I do with the doubt? What do I do with the insecurity and the heartache and the anxiety? As passionate as a person I am, my highs are really high yet my lows can be all-consuming.

So today, I broke out my first love, music. I pulled out the guitar my parents lovingly bought me for Christmas a few years ago and I found myself having my own mini-worship time. It's been forever since I played and I was surprised at how much my fingers remembered where to go and how steady I was able to keep my strumming. I love my guitar and the tone matches my voice amazingly. After revisiting some of my old favorites I used to play when I led worship, I decided to teach myself a new song. The first song that came to mind was "Oceans" by Hillsong.

The first time I heard this song, I was at church alone. Jared was out at work and we had just had a disagreement. It's crazy how you can be in a crowd of people and feel so isolated. I felt so alone. When they played this song I cried my eyes out. The words in the bridge just pierced my heart.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior"

I have asked God to use me and call me to places that people have never been to yet. I've asked for him to teach me how to love him more and rely on him for everything. As I was teaching myself how to play this song today I realized I'm in that place right now. I'm stretching and growing. God is the only one who is going to take my ministry, my marriage and my relationships and make them into the beauty God designed them to be.

As a results oriented person, I realized that what I have to do is just rest in God. Do my part and then rest it in his hands. And when doubt creeps in, all I can do is sing this chorus to him.

"I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine"

I find that so comforting to know that if everything goes south, if everything crumbles, if everything just falls apart, God still loves me, still has a plan for me. I'm not just a pawn that is thrown out when I'm used, I'm cherished and I am loved. God loves me just the same has he loves everyone. He loves me the same way he loves everyone all the way back to Adam and Eve.

So I don't know what else to say but I hope that in my vulnerability, in my openness and at my low points, God can speak to you and let you know that the same goes for you. When doubt creeps in and you have those questions, know that you are loved no matter the outcome.



Hillsong United - Oceans (Live) from Hillsong Church on Vimeo.

The Marriage Gift

 

I had the privilege to attend one of the most beautiful weddings last night.

For obvious reasons, my favorite wedding was my own. I was able to marry the most amazing man on Earth and so other weddings simply do not compare. So for fairness' sake, I'll just take my wedding out of the competition.

But last night's wedding was definitely a top pick, if not the top pick, of weddings I have had the privilege of attending. I love weddings. I think there should be more of them. I think they are super important and special to God's heart. Marriage is a reflection of the love God has for us. Just as a man loves a women and the women loves the man back, Jesus loves the church just as the church loves Jesus back. In a culture where increasingly more and more people co-habitate and don't get married, I treasure the times I get to witness two people committing their lives to one other with no take backs in front of their communities.

What struck me the most about this wedding is the back story of Uncle Ray and his new wife, Patty. I remember sitting in the hospital, close to Thanksgiving right before Jared and I got married. Jared's Aunt Linda was in her hospital bed, breathing slowly. She didn't talk and while the family had to leave the room to discuss things with a nurse, I had the honor of holding her hand and just getting to talk to her. I told her how beautiful her family was. How privileged I was to get to marry into it. I told her how wonderful her kids were and how I was so lucky to get to be with them and get to know them. In her pain, she managed a smile. It was the most beautiful smile I ever saw.

I watched Uncle Ray at the funeral and the days after. I saw how much he loved Linda. From a distance and through the grapevine I watched the family grow together. And then last Easter, I got to meet Patty. She was so gracious. So kind. I learned that she also had lost a spouse and in talking with her, I saw how much love she had for people.

Watching them say their vows yesterday was breathtaking. Here were two people who had loved fiercely and lost those loved ones. They both had been tested with their vows. They had lived  through sickness and health, for richer and poorer, and until death parted them. And here they were. They believed in the power of marriage and commitment to each other so strongly with their first marriages, they were willing to walk through it again with each other. Despite how heartbreaking it was to go through what they have gone through, God has gifted them a new love to walk through the rest of life together with.

And that's when it struck me. Words to explain what I have felt in the first 18 months of marriage with Jared. Marriage is a gift. When I was single I never felt I had the capacity to love someone the way I felt I should in marriage. But thankfully, God has given me the love I need to inexplicably walk through life with Jared unconditionally. We support each other in the hard times and giggle like kids with each other in the great times.

So Patty and Ray, you are probably going to get a thank you letter in the mail from me...fair warning! Thank you so much for inviting me to this wedding. Thank you for the love you have for another, the example you have set for me and for the amazing party and celebration last night! Jared and I love you both and pray for your marriage to grow in love abundantly in the future!