Geocaching: Road to 600

So in case you didn't read all my other posts, Jared and I are big geocachers! Many of our trips camping or otherwise include geocaching. We find it enhances our trips and makes things fun. We not only see beautiful views but we learn a ton historically and educationally.

I've been trying to complete my "Finds in on a day" calendar. Basically, find a geocache for every date of the year, including Leap Year. Here's how I stand to date.

Only 163 more to go!

Naturally, trying to achieve this makes my geocaching find rate go up from 0.3425 caches/day in 2015 to 1.0849 caches/day. You then quickly rack up the numbers. So while it seemed like only yesterday we were celebrating 500 geocaches, 600 was coming up really soon.

Thing was, we had also started a Lord of the Rings themed series while this was all going on. We had found about half of the needed geocaches over subsequent trips. So when Jared came around and asked me if we wanted to not only grab all the rest of them, but to make the Puzzle final my 600th, I was game. There was only one catch...I needed 16 more caches and we only had 10 left in the LOTR series. So we had to make up the extra as we went along. 

But why read about it when you can watch the adventure! Check out the video below to see what the fuss was all about! (Keep in mind, it took us much longer to find the final geocache than 4 minutes, but I clipped most of the stuff out so you won't have to watch 22 minutes of dark screen haha). 

Travel vs. Home

Home building things or traveling seeing the Stanley Cup? I vote both.
If you are interested in buying the Home Sweet Home sign you can here!

This summer had been a whirlwind.

We traveled so much over the last few months. It's given me a new perspective, which...since this is a blog...I'm wanting to share!

I've always been the type of girl that's wanted to go on adventures. Thankfully, growing up, my parents got the opportunity to take me all over the world. I've been to see the Midwest, the Northeast, California, the Grand Canyon, and so many other places in the U.S. I've been to Italy, Belgium, Paris, Beijing, and the list goes on internationally. I really do thank my parents for being the kind of people that value experiences with those you love rather than the acquisition of things. I feel like the experiences I got to have while traveling have taught me a ton about people and a ton about myself as well.

Thankfully, that spirit hasn't died since getting married. Some of our most special times as a couple has been traveling whether it was just us or with our families.

When I was at my last job I didn't travel as much because of the way my job schedule was. I felt a void in my life where I once got to travel a ton and now I was hardly leaving home. So when I came to my current job where I could travel with more frequency, I was excited. However, I had no idea how much travel was going to come this summer. I was gone at least once a month since May. At one point we were only home one weekend out of a five weekend stretch. At the end of the summer I didn't feel full and refreshed with a passion for life like I normally do after traveling. Instead I felt drained. Exhausted beyond just lack of sleep. All I wanted to do was to be home.

So what changed? Why have I gone from being this passionate world traveler to a homebody?

I think it all comes to rhythm.

One of the things I love about my current job is that I don't ever have a week that looks the same. I never know what God is going to put in my life from week to week. It keeps me on my toes. It makes me excited to see Him work in unexpected ways. However, I think I have come to crave some type of rhythm in the rest of my life. It's why the girl who never likes to clean seems to always get to laundry done on Mondays and why I get sad if I have to miss my run with my training group during the week. I am craving these things that remind me what day of the week it is. It's why holidays and birthdays and traditions are so important to me. They ground me and remind me where I come from and what life is all about.

While I mull over these thoughts, I can't help but conclude that I think this is a God given design. We definitely need to travel and meet people who are not like us and experience all that God has created on this Earth to the fullest extent we can in our short life spans. He teaches us valuable life lessons in this travel. However, I think God has designed in each of us the desire for a place to call home. Why do you think we have tons and tons of shows who's sole purpose is to show you who to decorate your house?

However, don't you think it's interesting that we never seem completely satisfied by either being home or traveling? We always want to take the next big trip or decorate our house some more. I think this is God designed too. We will never be satisfied until we get to our ultimate home, heaven. There, we will have the ultimate, permanent place to call home and yet tons and tons to explore all at the same time. I think it took traveling so much this summer to show me how much God must have a longing for us to come home someday so that we can explore all he has made for us.

So, while I still look forward to the trips I have for the rest of the year, I'm excited about the fact that I have a place to call home. That I can cook Taco Tuesdays in my kitchen. That I have a garage for us to build a small business. That my Vinylmation minions watch me type this blog in silent solidarity on my desk. I'm perfectly fine with balancing travel and life at home. And thankfully, someday, I will get to explore my ultimate home thanks to the perfect love that God has for us.

Goodbye 2014

Hello all my fellow readers!

So today is the day in the blogging world where we go back and reminisce on all that has happened in the last year. I will not be a trail blazer on this one. In fact, I talk about what has happened this year just like everyone else.

Last time I wrote, I was in what I like to call "survival mode." In a time where I was learning new things and adjusting to my new position at our church, I basically had no time and no will to blog. I kinda wanted to...but had no energy and frankly, nothing to say. Last time I talked about watering with salt water and how it may not make sense to us, but ultimately, God is the one who brings the harvest. Usually, he brings it around in a way that makes no sense to us as well.

Well, currently, I haven't seen a ton of harvesting yet. In a time where I talked about focusing on the most important things was getting hard, I lost focus a ton, at least in my opinion. I've allowed to-do lists and deadlines to come before people in many cases and it's not ok. I had a great quiet time a few days ago when I got some rest and realized that I have become quick to judge and quick to frustrate instead of extending grace where I could.  I have always known intellectually that grace and forgiveness costs more to the person giving it instead of the one receiving it. But only now am I truly experiencing it in my heart for the first time. Every time I extend grace I have to let go of the side of me that wants justice. Which, if you know me, justice is the thing I strive for A TON. I have a black and white view of the world and grace messes with that.

But, thankfully, my heart is learning just as much as my brain is. Yesterday, I had a meeting with two very special friends and right when I try to leave work to go meet them, two different men came up to the church asking for help. One was lost and needed directions. The other was looking for money to buy cough syrup for his family who had the flu. Working in downtown Dallas, you get use to the con-artists that come asking for money. But in light of the conversations I've had with God, I knew that this was Him asking me if I was going to blow these men off and not help because I had a meeting to go to, or if I would going to take the time to help and be late to my meeting. Judgemental side of me would have said, "If you weren't prepared, you deserve the consequences and your emergency shouldn't make me late to what I have to do. I'm...after all...a church worker and I have important things to attend to!" But, thankfully, I stopped and realized the situation and took the time to help.

Now I don't say all this as a virtual pat on the back to say "Great job me!" I tell these stories because, in review of 2014, I've had a great year. I ran my first marathon...the culmination of me overcoming a ton of mental and physical struggles I had in 2013. After my marathon, I learned how to deal with my depression that comes as a result of my PTSD. I got the opportunity to work part time at one of the greatest churches in one of the greatest departments. I ran coast to coast with my family in what have become some of my fondest memories. Jared and I were blessed with a house. It's been a phenomenal year. But yet, here at the end, I find myself yearning for more.

I got to have a great conversation with my mother-in-law who is also in ministry and she said something great about New Years Resolutions. Instead of making them about varying bars of success, make them about love. I've been all about varying bars of success recently (aka...how many things on my to do list can I knock off!), but this year I think God is calling me to make it even more about showing love to others. So looking forward, I am hoping to have more encounters like yesterday, with people who need help, and less about my crazy long to do lists. People are what God cares about the most. So I'm going to try to align my heart with his even more.

Happy 2015 everyone. I hope God blesses you and your family beyond your wildest imagination!

So I've recently been out of the loop on blogging. For good reason! It's been a bit of an introspective season of my life. I'm learning to be discreet with my words, including blogging, and not just spewing out dirty laundry whenever I feel like it.

I have been learning something very important though. I have talked about having dreams and longings that God has put deep in my heart. I greatly wish for people to get to know Jesus, especially kids. I long for women who have been broken by he sin of this world to have their hope restored by Him. I long to push myself and do things that I never thought I could in order to push my faith and keep myself constantly depending on God to show me the way.

All these dreams are good and in my eyes, worthy of pursing. I have taken the time to mull them over in my mind. Set up reminders of what my dreams are in my room. I've internalized them and set up my life around them.

But no one told me what happens when you take your dreams from that lofty space in your head and then try to birth them into the world.

The world has humans in it and therefore, is messy.

People either try to tell you your dream isn't good or worth pursuing. "It's a waste of time and talent!" Situations can place obstacles in your way that you have to overcome. There might be people who oppose your dream and directly try to stop it.

But what I've learned is that the important thing about bringing dreams into the world is focus. It's so easy to get caught up in the things that are impeding your dream that you focus on those rather than why you started the process of bringing your dreams into reality. Recently, I had a Sunday at church where everything seemed to be going wrong. While we had a "great" weekend as far as programing and tons of kids, I considered the weekend a miss because I focused on all the things that went wrong instead of pushing on and focusing on connecting to the parent's and kids that God brought to church that morning. I can get so focused on all the things that don't go right, that I forget to do the thing that I came to do in the first place!

This is the mentality that makes or breaks dreams. When I first started running, I thought that I had to follow a training schedule perfectly. And if I missed a workout, then the whole dream was ruined because I didn't do it perfectly. But that's the mentality the devil wants us to have when it comes to furthering the Kingdom of God. God doesn't demand perfection. He just asks for you to bring everything that you have. He then takes your natural and makes it supernatural.

So as you pursue your dreams, whether it be training for a big race or changing the world, don't forget to keep the vision of your dream the focus of your work. Don't get distracted by what isn't going the way you want it to. Simply bring you best, and let God do the rest!

New Directions

Gorgeous sunshine at the park!

Hi everyone! Last post I was pretty down. Struggling with post marathon blues and the eternal winter going on. But recently, the sun has come out! The air is warmer and as I've been getting my usual doses of Vitamin D now, my mood has warmed up considerably as well! There is nothing like the hope of spring and great weather to lift anyone's spirits!

What has also helped, is that I am also realizing where and what I am supposed to be doing next. The last two years have been marked by my steady pursuit of my first marathon. From not being able to run for more than 30 seconds, I conquered health problems and mental blocks to overcome my fear of pain from running. In the meantime, I overcame many other fears, literally anything from guns to gardening. So as I am sitting here post marathon, I don't think I'm done overcoming fears yet. However, a new idea has been forming in my head, and let's just say I have a ton of growing up to do.

Ever since I can remember, I haven't given a whole ton of thought to other people's perception of me. All I knew, was I wanted to be different from everyone else. I recognized a culture deficit going on and I didn't want to have anything to do with it. I liked doing my own thing, regardless of what people thought of me.

Now that I'm older and I have great people speaking into my life, I'm recognizing that sometimes, this desire to be different comes off different than I intend. People have said to me that sometimes I seem stand-off-ish, and until they got to know me, they thought I didn't like them. While I brushed off these comments a few years ago, they are coming back up in my head.

I've always said that I'm basically 8 years old at heart (Jared is 5 haha). I say that because I remember that age where everything seemed wonderful and enjoyable and new, and I want that spirit to be with me as an adult. But I recently heard someone say that you need to be 2/3 adult and 1/3 kid, and you have to be careful not to flip it around. So I'm realizing, that my 8 year old self that just wants to be different and satisfy my craving to explore the world is getting in the way of my authentic relationships. And while I won't get to know everyone that I meet "deeply," I never want them to look at me and say, "She doesn't like me." The old me would say, "Well, they should just stick around and find out the truth." But the newer, questioning me says, "But why would they if someone else seems so much more inviting?"

So to sum up what I've been learning, is that maturity is knowing the fine line of being aware of how people perceive you, without letting everyone's opinions determine your personality. If I look at someone and judge whether or not I want to try to be friends with them, I would be naive to think that they don't do the same to me. The truth is, I love making new friends. But the other truth is, I tend to not show that on the outside. The truth is, I want people to know Jesus. But how can they get to know that if I seem selfish or self absorbed?

So I'm going to work on maturing myself, making sure the way people perceive me matches what is actually going on inside. I have no idea how to do this yet, but thank goodness I have a ton of training miles to sort it all out!

Post Marathon Life

So a few days ago, I talked about my marathon experience briefly. I loved the vacation and the time with my family. I was certainly not ready to come back! But while I think there are a ton of people who like to add their two cents about the marathon weekend, like if it was run smoothly or as spectacular as last year or if they had any corral issues, there are not a ton of people that talk about the days after the marathon. People don't talk about the "Post Marathon Blues." Which, I have experienced, full force.

I had heard it was common to have some post marathon blues. Any time you have a big anticipated event, there's some sadness when it's over. But for me, it was a marked difference pre-marathon and post marathon. Coming back to work was difficult. No one seemed to notice that something big had just happened in my life (that acknowledgment wouldn't come for a few days). My sleep schedule was all crazy (and still is. I haven't gotten back to my sleep schedule and it's been a month!). I didn't have any big things to look to anymore. Combine that with the cold, cold winter and dreary weather it was a recipe for disaster.

The best way I can describe what I've been feeling was this undercurrent of sadness in my chest that seemed to be always present. It is like a river, always flowing. I tried to keep busy by working on some projects or hanging out with friends. This would help keep my mind off of it and the river "small." But any time I didn't have something to distract me, this undercurrent of sadness blossomed into a gigantic river, overflowing the banks and overcoming my feelings. Worse, I couldn't run to cope since I was letting my marathon injuries rest.

I don't think I've beat it yet. But I'm getting better. My best friend and I got a chance to talk as she deals with the same thing. And what I've come up with is that what I learned to get me through the marathon is what I can use to get past the marathon blues! When you get to that point in the race where your body just gives out and you are running on fumes, you have to fight to keep going. Things that used to keep you going in training may or may not work. You have to dig deep inside to keep up the will to keep going.

I've gotten to the point where things I used to enjoy weren't fun anymore. Things that kept me motivated didn't exist anymore and clinically, that's depression. What I've had to do is realize that things that are important haven't changed. Spending time with family. My work. My friends. And most importantly, my relationship with Christ. Sometimes, the good and pleasant feelings come naturally when we think about the things we love. And sometimes, we have to fight for those feelings to come, especially when negativity seems to be coursing through your soul.

I've had to fight for my feelings post marathon. I've had to be dedicated to my Bible studies. I had to choose to believe the best in people and situations when I felt the worst. And more importantly, I had to give myself permission to be ok with not being ok. It's a bit like paddling upstream with only your hands. Many times I wonder why God is allowing this to happen. And yet slowly and inexplicably God is starting to bless my efforts and my prayers and turn the river in my favor, where I'm now gaining speed and going towards where I want to be faster and faster.

As I've been consistently choosing to do all these things (and setting up my new race schedule) I'm starting to get back to what I call "normal me." The negativity is ebbing away and I'm starting to laugh more often, smile more and feel so much happier. To anyone who might deal with the same thing, I'd say a couple of things.

1) Keep doing what you know is right. Choose to be kind. Choose to love others no matter what you feel. Choose to love God even if he seems far away. Choose to be ok with the season you are in no matter how un-content you feel. Dig deep. Yes, if feels futile against the current you are in. But then:

2) Pray for God to change the current. Pray that he bless your efforts to enjoy what you have been given and allow you to see the fruit of what you have been faithful with.

I'll let you know how things are going on my side soon!

We Get Permission to Fail!

I had the most interesting experience yesterday. We had a run scheduled (Tempo Intervals: 2000m with a 400m recovery three times in case anyone was really wondering). I laced up my kicks and grabbed my dog and my husband and I hit the pavement. But as we made it to the park, we found it incredibly crowded! Families of all sizes were out with their shiny new bikes and scooters. Puppies were being walked. Kids were playing in the trails. Soccer games were being played. It was beautiful. I didn't mind that I had to run on the grass often. I was just glad to see everyone out enjoying a beautiful day instead of watching TV on their couches.

We even saw one of my best friends Ashely! You may have heard how awesome she is in an earlier blog post. She was out running too and I was so glad to give her a big sweaty hug! We briefly talked (we're on our runs right?) and as we left, she announced, "Professional runners! Coming through!"

We laughed and I assured her, she's a professional too. But I started looking around and realizing many people out here are starting their "New Years Fitness Plan." They are going to ride their bike, run or walk x amount of days in a week and lose x amount of pounds. My beat up kicks were looking pretty worn out compared to some of the white new sneakers some people were wearing. What started whirring in my head is the question.

"If this is what people's new year resolutions are, how long will it last?"

I have felt different come this new years. I am not starting a new fitness plan, but cumulating a year and a half of training for a marathon. I'm on my third pair of sneakers and the new ones are already not new. And I didn't start this goal at the new year of 2012. I started it in August. Which makes no sense if you know about the heat in Texas in August.

But I stuck with it. So what was it that kept me working a year and a half later to get me to this point? As I mulled it over, I felt like it might help someone out there.

1. I felt that this journey was a calling from Jesus. You may think I'm crazy for saying that. But if you have read my past blog posts, you will realize that I've held this belief from the beginning. I believe that after thinking so negatively for so long, God challenged me to try. He gave me all the equipment I need...I just needed to trust him and go do it.

For once in my life I had goals. It gave me purpose and direction. That purpose and direction in my physical life overflowed into every other aspect of my life. It's a strange, supernatural phenomena. But because I listened to God in my fitness, I was able to hear him more clearly in the rest of my life. What I found is that Jesus gave us a purpose to live, no matter what area of life we are talking about. Jesus said trust Him and and love people. As I ran and wondered what I was doing, I decided to trust God and pray for people that I passed. I found that to be key to keeping me running and key to me making progress in every other goal I've made in day to day life.

2. It's ok not to be perfect. In the past I've made new years resolutions and when I fail on doing it perfectly, I give up all together. When people create art, do you think they do it perfectly from beginning to end? Of course not. That's why we have erasers for pencils and the ability to paint over things! But if an artist gave up the moment they made a mistake on their art pieces, they would never finish some of the beautiful artwork that inspires us today. In fact, some of the mistakes become inspirations to take the art to a totally higher level than they were expecting.

When I train, I don't do all my workouts! I miss some because life happens. I have found it key to forgive myself for missing a workout and getting right back on the workout wagon whenever I can to making sure I stick with my training plan and complete my goals.

What's even better, is that the Bible tells us that we have hope that God will forgive our sins. If you truly trust in Jesus, we can have full confidence that when we fail fighting sin and bad patterns in our lives (that we try to correct with new years resolutions), it will be forgiven and we can start again! The freedom to fail gives us the hope to fight against the sinful parts of our lives!

3. Christ will help us in our fight...if we ask him. I remember some of the early runs and I'm dying at the end. My legs are spent and I can't breathe. I used to repeat over and over in my head "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me."And you know, I made it through the run. Ironically, I do the same thing whether it's a three mile run or a twenty mile run. I hold the same conviction that Jesus is the source of my hope and my faith and He supernaturally helps in one way or another.

When we come across times where we can't seem to break cycles or the running gets tough or a relationship seems eternally broken, we can ask for help. If we trust God and love people and truly believe that as sons and daughters of Christ that our sins are forgiven, the supernatural will occur in our lives and we will see Christ come through in the fight.

So as you make your resolutions (and I think you should) I hope that you think about the fact that you are launching into something that hopefully, you can sustain longer than just a year. Hopefully, you can trust God to guide you and to build upon your faithfulness.

And remember, 2 Timothy says that even if we are unfaithful, God remains faithful because he cannot deny himself!

Happy New Year everyone.

Say something, I'm giving up.

It's after midnight and I can't fall asleep. I didn't even have hot chocolate or anything with caffeine in it. Instead, I have a song stuck in my head. And after an hour of learning it on the guitar trying to get it all out, it's still eating at me. GT English critical reading essays have ruined me for life I think. So you all get a treat of my insomniac critical essay on the song stuck in my head.

But I think you will like it.

The song in question is called "Say Something," by A Great Big World. It's a beautiful yet slightly haunting melody that I just can't get enough of.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'll be the one, if you want me to.
Anywhere, I would've followed you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.Immediately, I see two people, not unlike Jared and myself, who are at the end of a particularly frustrating argument. If it's me singing it, it's probably because I've done all the talking and I'm just yearning for him to engage. I'll be his girl, if he wants it. I will follow him anywhere, just like I have in the past. But I need that connection. I need him to talk with me.

And I am feeling so small.
It was over my head
I know nothing at all.

And I will stumble and fall.
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl.

Here we see expectations meeting reality. The enormity of the anger, frustration, sadness and loneliness in the relationship is causing me to feel so incapable of solving it. I had expectations of love, but I obviously was naive to think that it would be like what I expected.

But hey. I realize I'm going to mess up. This is my first (and hopefully only) marriage. I'm going to mess up. Just like a toddler, I have to learn to walk before I can run.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
Anywhere, I would've followed you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.

And I will swallow my pride.
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye.

When I feel like I'm getting no response, my corresponding reaction is that I can't communicate with you. My feelings are not getting heard, just causing more pain, more grief, more doubt that I could ever help make this work. So instead of getting hurt more, I'm just going to say goodbye.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
And anywhere, I would have followed you.
Oh-oh-oh-oh say something, I'm giving up on you.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
Say something...

And yet, even after all the hurt, all the anguish, I repeat myself just one last time. I still hold out hope that I can somehow, someway, get a positive response...

While I relate to this song on a level in my marriage primarily, I've been thinking that this is much like my friendships sometimes. I'd venture to say, this pops up in almost any relationship of any sort. People we love sometimes don't realize how much we crave their interaction, their affection or their support in our lives and we just cry out in angst for someone to say something, anything, where we don't feel alone. It can be heightened by social media, where we can have so many "friends" yet feel so alone at home.

But as Christmas rolls around and it heightens our sensitivity to our social relationships, I think this song touches a much deeper level of need that people are seeking. In reality, we are looking for unconditional love. Yet, we are seeking it from humans whom are incapable of it.

Now we have all heard that God loves us. But it's a ton easier to believe that God exists rather than believe that an all powerful being cares about me and my going-ons personally. It's hard to believe that he cares about my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams, my fears. It's hard to believe that he's as interested in hearing about my day at work as he is about orphans in Africa.

But that's the truth. And yet, sometimes it's so hard to feel that love. It's so hard to feel it and believe it, especially in the hardest and most painful circumstances. It's at that point that we yell out, "Say something!" to God, hoping that we get a burning bush or a parting of the sea to show us his power. We doubt. We say I would have followed you. Yet because I cannot feel you or see any inkling of your interaction with me, I'm giving up on you.

Maybe you have had this kind of interaction with God. Now, Christmas is just a reminder of that struggle with God and the feelings of being alone. But what you have to realize is that during a storm, all you can see are the clouds and the thunder and lightning. It gets really dark and dangerous as the storm builds and starts dumping water everywhere.

When I went running the other day, it was raining at the beginning. But after an hour or so of running through the rain and the cold, the rain stopped, the clouds moved and the sun came out. That got me thinking. Just because it's storming doesn't mean the sun isn't there. It's just hidden. Get in a plane (if it's safe) and pop up through the clouds and it's there. Shining as ever, giving a warm glow. In a life storm, all you may see are the dark and rainy parts. The lighting may frighten you and the thunder may be loud, but God's still there, behind the storm. He will never leave you. The song we may sing in our anguish is, thankfully, not his song.

His song can be found in 2 Timothy chapter 2:
"If we died with him, we will also live with him.
If we endure, we will also reign with him.
If we deny him, he will also deny us.
If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, since he cannot deny himself."

God will always remain faithful, even if we say goodbye to him due to our unbelief. He is love. He is grace. He came to Earth on Christmas to bring you hope that you are not alone in the storm. You are not alone in your struggle or your anguish. You do not have the bear the burdens of your destructive behavior you have now. God came to give himself as a gift to the world. It's like a present under the tree. It's been paid for and wrapped, all you have to do is accept it for your own.

If Jesus were to rewrite some of this song, I think he would say
Say something, I'm coming to you.
I love you and I give my life for you.
Anywhere, I'm always with you.
Say something, yet I'm not giving up on you.

Authentic Contentment

Hello everyone! It's been an amazing week and weekend so far!

Last weekend I got to run another race with my parents..the Rhar and Sons Oktoberfest 5K! While I couldn't drink the beer due to my food allergy, I still had tons of fun with my parents and set a PR for my 5K!

Mom and I before the race!

Right before the start!

Post Race Festivities!

I finally (officially!) PR'ed my 5K at 29:54.6!

Now, one thing I want to make sure gets across, is that it's easy to look at someone who's achieved a ton of their goals (especially all at once) and say, "Wow. It's great you can do that. You are superwomen! I can't do what you do."

And if that's what you have to say, then I have failed as the goal of my blog. This blog isn't to show off to the world about my running. I'm not that good in the first place! But what I hope you see is someone who was challenged, set goals, and worked step by step to meet them. I had two major milestones this past week that had me on cloud nine. But they have been milestones months in the making. A year and a month if you want to be exact! I am a normal, messed up human being with sin and trials and, thankfully, a Savior. I couldn't run 30 seconds at the beginning of this journey. I hope you see my writing as an authentic representation of what God is teaching me, and I hope He is using it to encourage and challenge you to be in His presence, in His love. Without him none of this is possible.

Something along the same lines that I have learned from it all, is that while I set goals and strive to achieve them, I have actually learned how to live in the moment. I have learned to enjoy the journey. I don't run and pine or worry over the ability to run a marathon. I simply say, "This is what I can do today, and it's the next step to get me where I need to be tomorrow." I've been able to spend some quality time with God on my long runs. I've learned to worship him even if my legs are screaming and some of my most treasured moments with him have been while I'm alone running through his creation. I've learned that God has me right where I need to be no matter what the circumstances and I am content in that!

So with that said, here's to another round of training. This one leads to my BIG goal, the one I've been working toward for 13 months. The Walt Disney World Marathon!

Here we go!

Plano Balloon Festival Half Marathon

Hello everyone! Yesterday I had the most amazing time racing with my parents at the Plano Balloon Festival! You can relive my race with me in the video below!



Plano Half Marathon from Madelyn on Vimeo.

It was a great race. Several things factored into making it my best race ever:

1) We had our first cold front move in through Texas! The morning was just cold enough without too much rise in the heat at the end of the race. My hard training this summer in the heat really helped me be able to push hard in the ladder miles so that I was hitting negative splits. My last mile was my fastest!

2) I was racing with my family! Dad and I passed each other a ton and ran the middle of the race together. He was staying steady while I was having my middle-of-the-race slump and he kept pushing me to keep my pace up!

3) I worked on my speed. This training cycle, I spent one run a week working specifically on speed. I worked on pushing my lactate threshold back as well as learning to run on tired legs. I think working on my fast finish training runs really gave me the "umph" I needed at the end!

4) I learned from my last race to not drink as much water! All the sloshing around in my stomach was causing me cramps. Also, I remembered to fuel early and often. I didn't hit the wall in this race because I found Cliff Shot Blocks (which I love so much) to fuel my race!

5) I have the best family and friends! The constant cheering from my Nike +, the love I knew I had during training and the promise of getting to Skype with Jared at the end really contributed to the race day magic. Thank you so much for your support and love for me as I have gone through this journey!

6) The last, yet probably most important, was the special time with God I have gotten during my training. I have had moments where I have just been able to worship him during my runs and unplug long enough to spend quality time with him. You might think I'm weird, but it's true. God has shown me through running I am more capable than I thought and can do more than I could have ever imagined. He doesn't put limits on how he can use me, I do.

Put this all together and I was able to run the entire 13.1 miles without walking, a feat I have never accomplished before. Even on my previous long runs, I take numerous walk breaks to drink Gatorade or eat. Not this time! I ran and ate and everything! I felt so good, so prepped, that when I slowed to drink a tiny sip of water at mile 12, my legs were like, "What's this walking thing you speak of? We don't like it!" I hit my pace goal of being in the vicinity of two and a half hours with a final time of 2:33. I think I could have gotten a  faster time if I would have really been serious about running the tangents.

But you know, that's learning for the next race. :)

Next stop: Disney!

The Marriage Gift

 

I had the privilege to attend one of the most beautiful weddings last night.

For obvious reasons, my favorite wedding was my own. I was able to marry the most amazing man on Earth and so other weddings simply do not compare. So for fairness' sake, I'll just take my wedding out of the competition.

But last night's wedding was definitely a top pick, if not the top pick, of weddings I have had the privilege of attending. I love weddings. I think there should be more of them. I think they are super important and special to God's heart. Marriage is a reflection of the love God has for us. Just as a man loves a women and the women loves the man back, Jesus loves the church just as the church loves Jesus back. In a culture where increasingly more and more people co-habitate and don't get married, I treasure the times I get to witness two people committing their lives to one other with no take backs in front of their communities.

What struck me the most about this wedding is the back story of Uncle Ray and his new wife, Patty. I remember sitting in the hospital, close to Thanksgiving right before Jared and I got married. Jared's Aunt Linda was in her hospital bed, breathing slowly. She didn't talk and while the family had to leave the room to discuss things with a nurse, I had the honor of holding her hand and just getting to talk to her. I told her how beautiful her family was. How privileged I was to get to marry into it. I told her how wonderful her kids were and how I was so lucky to get to be with them and get to know them. In her pain, she managed a smile. It was the most beautiful smile I ever saw.

I watched Uncle Ray at the funeral and the days after. I saw how much he loved Linda. From a distance and through the grapevine I watched the family grow together. And then last Easter, I got to meet Patty. She was so gracious. So kind. I learned that she also had lost a spouse and in talking with her, I saw how much love she had for people.

Watching them say their vows yesterday was breathtaking. Here were two people who had loved fiercely and lost those loved ones. They both had been tested with their vows. They had lived  through sickness and health, for richer and poorer, and until death parted them. And here they were. They believed in the power of marriage and commitment to each other so strongly with their first marriages, they were willing to walk through it again with each other. Despite how heartbreaking it was to go through what they have gone through, God has gifted them a new love to walk through the rest of life together with.

And that's when it struck me. Words to explain what I have felt in the first 18 months of marriage with Jared. Marriage is a gift. When I was single I never felt I had the capacity to love someone the way I felt I should in marriage. But thankfully, God has given me the love I need to inexplicably walk through life with Jared unconditionally. We support each other in the hard times and giggle like kids with each other in the great times.

So Patty and Ray, you are probably going to get a thank you letter in the mail from me...fair warning! Thank you so much for inviting me to this wedding. Thank you for the love you have for another, the example you have set for me and for the amazing party and celebration last night! Jared and I love you both and pray for your marriage to grow in love abundantly in the future!