Was Blind But Now I See

This last week was a big day in history for our family.

Seven years ago on the weekend after Thanksgiving, Jared and I started dating.

Four years ago, I had life changing eye surgery.

Last year, we closed on our first house.

I've been very reflective this week on where I have been. I didn't have dating or marriage high on the list of things to do in college. Would it be nice to date? Sure. Were there guys interested in dating me? Yes. But I shrugged off one by one, more determined to focus on school and being the strong willed independent woman I wanted to be. Thank goodness God gave Jared the patience to wait my stubbornness out. He has helped me change into a better person. One that is more patient, more forgiving and less judgmental. I feel I still have a long way to go but I'm definitely better off with him!

Right before we got married I had eye surgery. I was legally blind and didn't have enough tissue on my eye to correct it via Lasik. However, I had the right doctor who knew the best surgeon who was able to do ICL surgery. It cost a fortune and I know how much my parents sacrificed for me to have this surgery. It has been one of the single life changing moments of my life. I remember growing up and getting my prescription adjusted every year. When we would go home I would marvel at the leaves on the trees and notice that we had our address number above our garage. But this was that on a whole different scale. I didn't know the world could be seen in HD after viewing it on a fuzzy box my whole life. I don't think I would appreciate the beauty of the world like I do today if I had not had the opportunity to have this surgery.

Last year was a life changing moment as well. Jared and I didn't just buy a house...we bought a HOME. It's a place I have been able to finally feel comfortable in. I wasn't just a passerby waiting for the next best thing. I was finally able to see and feel and decorate this space because it's my home. It's where we are going to raise our kids. It's where we are going to entertain our friends and family. It's where Jared and I will spend our good days and our bad days together. My PTSD has significantly reduced the frequency of rearing it's ugly head since moving in a year ago. Again, life changing.

As I reflect on these things, I can't help but remember Paul writing in 1 Corinthians that when we are younger in life, whether that be in our Christian walk or our physical life span, "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know it part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known." I remember having so many questions after graduating college...even more than after graduating high school. Most of my questions can be summarized by "Now what?" It's so incredible that just a few years later I can look back and go, "Wow God. I had a big vision of what you wanted me to do. But the path that you took me down to get here is something only you could have dreamed up."

And it can all be summarized as grace.

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
was blind but now I see.

Grace from God is what brought me to Jared. Grace from my parents is what allowed me to literally see. Grace is what allowed me to see metaphorically what God wanted me to do. Grace is what brought us to this home and this job and this amazing group of friends and family. I am truly thankful this Christmas season. It's the most content I have ever been in my life, and I am truly thankful.

Here's to what God is doing next.